he lied...i'm not sure i trust him anymore

This may seem really silly but here goes... my bf n i had a raging fight on the phone one night n i tried 2 wave the white flag first. b4 it was really settled, he had to go, so i asked if i could see him the next day to clear out matters, n he said he had some family commitment.

the following afternoon i found out he had been with some mutual friends of ours at the time of the "commitment", n i asked him outright y he lied. he said he didnt want 2 see me then.

it was something stupid, but my trust in him has been badly eroded since a while back when he broke up with me without saying y, only to ask to get back with me 6 months later at a time when i was vulnerable n said yes. now everything he says to me, i'm unsure if he's not just lying once again. i so want to believe the loving things he says, that i'm afraid i'm being blind. am i being paranoid? any advice much welcome, n thanks in advance.

Reply 1

sparkly_tiara

Hmmm, i wouldn't say paranoid, but i would say that maybe you have issues trusting people, which, from your post sounds completely normal! This wasnt the first time he broke your trust- he broke up with you for no reason! That must have completely broken your trust, and you already said, you got back with him when you were vulnerable. I think you hadn't deal with the trust issue then, and the fact that he has now rebroken your trust again, combined with the previous episode has just proved too much. The lie may have been no big deal to him, and had no intention of hurting you- but it did. He has broken your trust on more than one occassion now. I would tell him how you feel- explain that you don't feel able to trust him and explain why. See what he has to say. I know it's probably the last thing you want to hear, but if you feel the trust is gone beyond repair, there isnt much point in continuing with the relationship. You deserve (and need!) to be able to trust the other person in a relationship, and constantly worrying about this will not be good for you at all.

Hope all goes well, let us know how you get on.

Lou
xxx