Crap/Cheesy poem - Worth Giving?

Is this poem worth giving to my new g/f?

It may be too fast,
It may be too soon.
We have fallen for each other,
and it all started in your Friends Room.

When two Hearts meet,
When two Hands hold.
There is no need to be scared,
As I will never hurt you, as youve been told.

A Relationship is based on trust,
A Relationship is based on love/care.
I am willing to give you these,
I hope you can also share.

(Name) all I ask is you be true,
I will always be there unconditionally just for you,
No matter what time or day,
Just call me and I will be there to stay.

Reply 1

bikerx23

1

depends...if you have some fetish about her throwing up over you, then go ahead.

Reply 2

username39618

1

How about:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I think you're quite hot
But you smell like...ahhh, i forget now

Nah, if she's into romantic cheese, she'll love your poem

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Sure, one more thing to rip up when you split up.

Reply 4

lil_sweetie

1

I personally would hate it....but that's only because I hate cheesy, corny, overly-sentimental stuff like that. But if your girlfriends likes that kind of stuff then go for it :smile:

Reply 5

st8_of_mind

No offence, it sounds a bit fake. Well, to me it does. But then I don't know you, so your gf may think differently. To be honest, if you'd just told her that you'd be there for her always 'unconditionally', I think it would be better. Because poems always need to be dramatized so she might just think you put it in there for the sake of a better poem or worse, just to make it rhyme. Lol.

Personally, I would be chuffed but it'd have to be a really good and not too soppy poem to make a touching impact.

Reply 6

halfoflessthan50p

12

hmmmm. Honestly, i cant say i love it. dont wanna sound mean but if you want my honest advice either:

Give it to her but do it with a grin. Make it into one of those cute lil jokes that you both share.

Secondly, write it again but in a less cliched style. Shorted, without the cheesy rhyme scheme and make it more personal id say. Or give her a poem out of a book.

I dunno, you shouldnt be asking us. You know her better than us so you should be able to tell what she'd make of it.

Are you at that early stage where you can still be bothered doing stuff like this? You never argue? Youre sentimental and romantic all the time and you cant stop holding hands? :biggrin:

awww you should enjoy it, its by far the best bit and you'll remember it the most. Yeh give her the poem, definately!

Reply 7

buttons7

1

i know i'll probably get shouted at for this but nevermind. should you give that to your new gf? hell no. you're right, it is cheesy, and it is crap.

i'm not about to go into the literary value of the poem (none) since that is clearly not the point of your endeavour. nevertheless, i implore you not to let her see that, if only because it may really freak her out. i know very few girls who would appreciate getting that off a new boyfriend... it's just cringeworthily keen. if you'd been together for years and years and you could be sure that something like that wouldn't shock her, i'd say go for it. the sentiments are sweet and all, but the expression is so cliche and the timing so poor that if you give that to her, the chances are that she'll either a) laugh, or b) say "aww that's really sweet." and laugh when you've gone. with her friends.

i'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but i think honesty is the best policy here. just don't do it. or, as someone else said, steal an actual poem and give her that.

edit: if you're 14 or under, the poem is fine and is just one of those life mistakes that you have to make.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Good effort!!! BUT the result is worthless. You really shouldn't show this to her. You should write a poem that describes perhaps one moment you two had together, that's not so cheesy and that isn't so "general". This one looks at the general elements of a relationship: "the unconditional", "Foreverness", "love", "truthfulness" etc. CHESSY IS the word.

Also, if she googled it, it'll pop up on this site now, hehehehehe

Reply 9

tempusername

dude this is freakin awful. i hope you feel bad for ruining my day.

Reply 10

Vetinari

8

I like it!

I think that most people on the recieving end of that would enjoy the fact that its laden with cheesyness just for them. :smile:

How 'new' is she? I wouldn't go presenting this to her on a second date or anything... :p:

Reply 11

Ron Stoppable

14

chris101

Is this poem worth giving to my new g/f?

It may be too fast,
It may be too soon.
We have fallen for each other,
and it all started in your Friends Room.

When two Hearts meet,
When two Hands hold.
There is no need to be scared,
As I will never hurt you, as youve been told.

A Relationship is based on trust,
A Relationship is based on love/care.
I am willing to give you these,
I hope you can also share.

(Name) all I ask is you be true,
I will always be there unconditionally just for you,
No matter what time or day,
Just call me and I will be there to stay.

It's sweet, but it's saccharine; she'll just sing Britney Spears' Sometimes right back at you

I wanna believe in everything that you say
Ah 'cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move it slow
There's things about me, you just have to know

Reply 12

Ethereal

19

bikerx23

depends...if you have some fetish about her throwing up over you, then go ahead.

LOL. Perhaps he could title it "Ode to a Roman Shower"

Reply 13

Fluent in Lies

2

It's crap but she might like it. If somone I liked wrote me a poem, even as dire as this I would be touched.

Reply 14

Ethereal

19

Original post by Fluent &#953

It's crap but she might like it. If somone I liked wrote me a poem, even as dire as this I would be touched.

*starts writing* :p:

Reply 15

frappuccino

6

If a new bf gave that to me I would be really put off, likely to the extent that I stop liking him. But then again I am probably the most un-romantic girl ever so if she is reaaly into romantic stuff then it could work. But seriously the "I will always be there unconditionally just for you" is extreemely over the top imo.... :puke:

Reply 16

FadeToBlackout

15

let me be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
let me be your ford cortina
i will never rust
if you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
you call the shots
i wanna be yours

let me be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
let me be your dreamboat
when you wanna sail away
let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
i don’t care
i wanna be yours

let me be your electric meter
i will not run out
let me be the electric heater
you get cold without
let me be your setting lotion
hold your hair with deep devotion
deep as the deep atlantic ocean
that’s how deep is my emotion
deep deep deep deep de deep deep
i don’t wanna be hers
i wanna be yours

(I Wanna Be Yours, John Cooper Clark)

Your poem, I'm afraid, just reminds me of a saccherine sweet 80s cheese song... sorry.

Reply 17

dementedbunny

11

uhhhhhhhh... :s:

if she's into mush then yeah why not. but asking someone to doctor your injury (poem) won't make the poem yours anymore.

maybe if you look at some other poetry or song lyrics you like, this might inspire you? don't plagiarise though or that defeats the purpose. poems don't all have to rhyme either :smile:

just make it your own and make it genuine and i guess she'll be happy.

Reply 18

hugatree

11

The idea is very sweet so why not. :smile:

FadeToBlackout: that reminded me of I wonna B Ur Lovr by Weird Al. :biggrin:

Reply 19

person 34

9

no don't give it to her, you could say all those things 2 her face and would be way more special. Poetrys meant to be deep that's just putting ordinary phrases in stanzas.

Crap/Cheesy poem - Worth Giving?

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