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    And it's all my fault really. I can't let go of some of the things he said/did:
    - He kept talking about his ex throughout the first year of our relationship
    - He kept flirting with his colleagues and friends, although he said it was a joke, for 1.5 years
    - One of these friends he had a fling with in the past, and they were jokingly talking about having sex with each other via email
    - He never complimented me
    - He talked about his ex and him having sex straight after I lost my virginity to him
    - He never really asks about me, or my interests or anything like that
    - When I need him, he either is not there or says the most inappropriate things. Example, 2 weeks ago I found out my little sister of 12 was self harming, I immediately called him out of shock and he told me not to tell anyone, and then for the next few days didn't contact me at all

    I'm still hurt and upset by a lot of it. I keep getting upset to the point where I bring it up every week or two and then we fight. I just don't understand what I ever did. He says he's sorry and didn't mean anything by what he did, and he says I can't let this all affect our relationship and he's trying really hard. I am just so down about it though, I need to get over it but I don't know how.

    I don't feel loved or made feel to be attractive. We were LDR for the last year and he came to see me 1/2 of the times I went to see him, although it was my first year of university and I had no money as a student. I feel so unwanted. I compliment him all the time, plan days out, pay for dinners, buy gifts. I get nothing back, not even a single compliment.

    He tells me it's my fault because I don't love myself, but how can I love myself when I keep thinking of the above? When I know day to day he's thinking other women are more desirable, that he doesn't want to show me he loves me or thinks anything about
    my life. I don't know. I feel like he barely knows me sometimes. I've lost all confidence in myself. I look at myself and I hate every part of me, I hate the way I look, I hate my personality, I hate everything I am because I know nothing I do will make him love me. I'm trying to lose a stone of weight in the hopes that he will love me again. He does say it but he doesn't act like it.

    We've been together for 3 years. I love him. I don't know what to do. If I leave him, I know no one will ever want me again. So how do I stop getting upset and fighting? I cry nearly every day. I don't want to feel like this. I want to feel like me again. :cry:
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    try not to give up, it's all about being positive, try to look forward and not behind you when it comes to this. Fight for what you think is right and what you want out of life
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    (Original post by woody-wood)
    try not to give up, it's all about being positive, try to look forward and not behind you when it comes to this. Fight for what you think is right and what you want out of life
    I don't know HOW to look forward I don't know how to stop feeling hurt. I don't know how to stop wanting to be loved by him. I'm normally a positive person but this hurts so much and there's no way out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been together for 3 years. I love him. I don't know what to do. If I leave him, I know no one will ever want me again. So how do I stop getting upset and fighting? I cry nearly every day. I don't want to feel like this. I want to feel like me again. :cry:
    Don't think like this, it is NOT true. You deserve to feel happy, secure, and that you can be yourself in a relationship, otherwise it is simply toxic. And yours does sound pretty toxic: he is coasting, taking you for granted, while you are suffering and making all the effort. The list of things you described is pretty horrible, I would also have a very difficult time letting go of those kinds of things - and honestly, why should you be the one doing all the emotional legwork? He should make the effort to make you feel loved & secure.

    My advice would be to leave him. He is just not making you happy: rather, he is making you actively unhappy and no romantic relationship should be like that 24/7. At the very least, take a break from the relationship for a few months, try & heal yourself, and see if he comes crawling back. I know it's scary, but do NOT let thoughts like 'no one else will want me' stop you, it's simply untrue, and only holding you back in this, frankly horrible, 'relationship'.
 
 
 
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