Confused and Can't Stop Thinking About It Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 5 years ago
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Hi TSR,

Anon or delete please . Apologies for long post!

Okay basically i'm in a bit of a palava. I've been with my boyfriend 3 years now, and I think i've come to bit of a crossroads regarding our relationship. On one hand, he is sweet, kind and very loving and supportive towards me, and our sex life is good (sometimes out of this world :P). I've had a lot of issues in the past regarding anxiety, and jealousy issues, and I went to counselling in 2012 and now I feel a lot better about it all. However, I feel like he takes me for granted a bit and doesn't appreciate me as much as he has/should. I mean, I am in no way egoistic but I feel that I see guys looking at me as they pass etc, and I don't feel like he looks at me appreciatively as much, and he tells me i'm beautiful etc but it doesn't seem like theres as much substance as before, if you get me(?). He can also be a bit controlling and domineering and my sister recently said 'he can stifle my spirit a bit'.

Thing is, I have a guy friend who I know I have a lot of chemistry with and he went away on a trip this summer for 1.5 months, and I did miss him a lot, but I'm not sure if it was just because hes practically my only other male good friend apart from my boyfriend and I confide in him a lot if I have problems. He came back and I realised how much I missed him as I met him at the bus station. He brought me back a necklace which he was wearing around his neck (i know this may have significance).
He knows me very well and says he feels I am discontent. I don't know if I like him in that way, but we're close as friends, and he told me it's my life and I shouldn't live it unhappily.

I spoke to my sister about it too and she said I just need to have more fun in my relationship, and I will try, I think, for a bit longer to make it work. I know my boyfriend loves me a lot, and I love him too. It's hard to imagine a life without him and when I think of it, it hurts me a lot. He is just so amazing to me, and I couldnt ask for more, but I can't help thinking 'is the grass greener?' You know? The whole time ive been at uni ive not been single, so it would be horrid and strange in a way.

I'm not sure at all what to do, but if you guys want to ask any questions feel free. x

TL;DR. At crossroads with boyfriend of 3 years and finding it hard to decide what to do.
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Anonymous #1
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bump.
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lizlaz350
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Perhaps you just need to talk to your boyfriend?

When you've been with someone for a long time, it just gets comfortable and yeah, he might take you for granted a little but he probably doesn't realise. If you told him you were unhappy and didn't feel appreciated, he'd probably be shocked and realise that he needed to make more of an effort to make you feel appreciated.

I'm sure that if you left him for this other guy, there'd be chemistry sure but after a few years you'd just end up in exactly the same situation of comfortableness, if it even ends up being as good as your current relationship.

I think your sister is right that you just need a bit more fun in the relationship. I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't want to lose you and if he knew how you were feeling, he would make an effort to change for you and make you realise that he does appreciate you after all.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 5 years ago
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(Original post by lizlaz350)
Perhaps you just need to talk to your boyfriend?

When you've been with someone for a long time, it just gets comfortable and yeah, he might take you for granted a little but he probably doesn't realise. If you told him you were unhappy and didn't feel appreciated, he'd probably be shocked and realise that he needed to make more of an effort to make you feel appreciated.

I'm sure that if you left him for this other guy, there'd be chemistry sure but after a few years you'd just end up in exactly the same situation of comfortableness, if it even ends up being as good as your current relationship.

I think your sister is right that you just need a bit more fun in the relationship. I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't want to lose you and if he knew how you were feeling, he would make an effort to change for you and make you realise that he does appreciate you after all.
Thank you for the reply! Had loads of views but no-one wanted to speak, it seems.
I did speak to him and although the conversation ended in tears, it was happy ones, as it kind of dawned on me how much he means to me. He's away at the moment for a football tournament but i told him i'd give him his space so he can have time with his friends and I think he's appreciated it and even phoned me yesterday! A rare occurrence.

Thank you so much for the advice
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lizlaz350
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for the reply! Had loads of views but no-one wanted to speak, it seems.
I did speak to him and although the conversation ended in tears, it was happy ones, as it kind of dawned on me how much he means to me. He's away at the moment for a football tournament but i told him i'd give him his space so he can have time with his friends and I think he's appreciated it and even phoned me yesterday! A rare occurrence.

Thank you so much for the advice
I'm glad that everything is looking okay
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