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My mum keeps putting me down watch

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    I'm 19, I don't have much confidence or self esteem and I never have. My mum has always put me down, for as long as I can remember. She's always told me I'm useless and stupid and a waste of space. She's also told me things like "I wish you'd inherited my looks/figure/hair/personality ect. When I wake up in the morning the first thing she tells me is that I look horrible and that I should fix my hair and even when I buy clothes, she tells me things like "You can't pull that off" "You look horrible in that t shirt." "You can see your horrible figure in that outfit." She also says things about my appearance as soon as I've done something i.e Just out the shower - She looks disgusted and asks if I actually went for a shower. I straighten my hair - She says I can't have put much effort into it. I put makeup on - She says my looks don't improve with it on.

    I'm so sick of it and trying to change so that she'll stop ****ging me off all the time. How can I improve my confidence with her constantly breathing down my neck? :/
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    You'll become confident and 'change' once you accept who you truly are right now. It's a cheesy paradox but it's the truth. Also, try not to pay so much attention to what your mum thinks. It sounds like emotional abuse to me . Speak to a counselor / someone you trust about it. Find your own self-worth and don't give a s*** about what others think - including your mum
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    That is really cruel of her, I don't really know maybe give a sarcastic response back. :P
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    Do you really think you're stupid? What is her position in life - has she failed or succeeded (friends, work, family). It seems like she wanted to live through you "I wish you'd inherited my looks/figure/hair/personality/ect." Almost everyone looks bad in the morning you don't need to fix your hair if your at home. When you buy clothes it's what you like and feel comfortable in not what a (shallow?) woman like your mother thinks. What is the tone your mother is speaking in, is she saying it in a spiteful tone. Does she know how you feel. Do your looks bother you or do you think you actually look bad, judge on your own opinion.
    You shouldn't change yourself for anyone. Everyone has to like themselves or it will be hard for others to like you.
    I think your mother may be trying to fill something missing in her life. She is most likely doing this because she is jealous of you.

    Note: If others aren't being nice to you you don't have to care what they think. When someone is genuinely nice to you and tries, be nice back but don't be naive.
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    What does your dad say about your mum's nasty behaviour? Other siblings? Don't give up and don't let anyone to make you feel you are the worst person on planet My sister sometimes behaves similarly but not that cruel :lolwut: She usually criticises my clothes or my appearance, e.g. I was trying on my shirt and she passed by and told that I won't look good with that fat belly hanging out or saying that I need a new t-shirt because the one I bought is ugly :hmmm:

    Your mum needs to realise that she's hurting her own child and all this pressure and constant criticism can lead to serious consequences. For every word she says bad about you, try and gain even more confidence to show her that you are stronger than she is.

    In case, do you have anyone from family or relatives to talk with your mother? Like your mother's sister/brother or even her own mother?
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    (Original post by ZeroName)
    Do you really think you're stupid? What is her position in life - has she failed or succeeded (friends, work, family). It seems like she wanted to live through you "I wish you'd inherited my looks/figure/hair/personality/ect." Almost everyone looks bad in the morning you don't need to fix your hair if your at home. When you buy clothes it's what you like and feel comfortable in not what a (shallow?) woman like your mother thinks. What is the tone your mother is speaking in, is she saying it in a spiteful tone. Does she know how you feel. Do your looks bother you or do you think you actually look bad, judge on your own opinion.
    You shouldn't change yourself for anyone. Everyone has to like themselves or it will be hard for others to like you.
    I think your mother may be trying to fill something missing in her life. She is most likely doing this because she is jealous of you.

    Note: If others aren't being nice to you you don't have to care what they think. When someone is genuinely nice to you and tries, be nice back but don't be naive.
    I kinda am stupid, I barely made it through primary school and almost got held back a year. She always says it in a spiteful tone, like she's disappointed in me or something, Yeah, I do always think I look bad. I look terrible in dresses and I hate situations in which I have to wear one.
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    (Original post by ForgetMe)
    What does your dad say about your mum's nasty behaviour? Other siblings? Don't give up and don't let anyone to make you feel you are the worst person on planet My sister sometimes behaves similarly but not that cruel :lolwut: She usually criticises my clothes or my appearance, e.g. I was trying on my shirt and she passed by and told that I won't look good with that fat belly hanging out or saying that I need a new t-shirt because the one I bought is ugly :hmmm:

    Your mum needs to realise that she's hurting her own child and all this pressure and constant criticism can lead to serious consequences. For every word she says bad about you, try and gain even more confidence to show her that you are stronger than she is.

    In case, do you have anyone from family or relatives to talk with your mother? Like your mother's sister/brother or even her own mother?
    My parents are divorced, but I see my dad as often as I can and he knows all about her behaviour, she used to do it to him all the time, from when they were dating right up until they got divorced. I don't have any siblings, which is annoying since she manages to just release all her behaviour on me. Her partner is a total a-hole (I truly and utterly despise him) and he thinks it's hilarious and encourages it and joins in. My mum's brother committed suicide over 10 years ago and I never get to see my aunt as she lives in a different part of the country as I do. My grandparents have noticed this and always tell my mum to stop being so horrible and tell me not to worry but she continues it. The weird thing is, like I said, her brother committed suicide, You'd think she'd want to prevent another suicide in the family but with the way it's going, she seems to want another suicide. I've considering it numerous times and it's not helping that my mum constantly reminds me of the fact that I'm a waste of space. I wrote a suicide note when I was 14 and going through a mental breakdown due to bullying and my mum found it and thought it was hilarious.
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    Gosh, that's so horrible :\
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    wow i wish i was there for you as a friend that must be absolutely horrible! Are you 18 yet?? Get your own place asap. Also she insults you about PRIMARY school?! How many unis/emplyers actually give a toss about prischool? Zero. You are truly amazing, stay strong


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    Your dad will not take you on? This is abuse. Move out immediately by going to university if you can (don't get a flat and a job, that's a wage slavery trap)
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    I would move out, either on your own, with a friend or with another family member (your Dad, maybe?).
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    (Original post by beccagood95)
    I would move out, either on your own, with a friend or with another family member (your Dad, maybe?).
    This. OP needs to move in with her dad, her mum's vermin.

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    (Original post by YikezItzAmy)
    My parents are divorced, but I see my dad as often as I can and he knows all about her behaviour, she used to do it to him all the time, from when they were dating right up until they got divorced. I don't have any siblings, which is annoying since she manages to just release all her behaviour on me. Her partner is a total a-hole (I truly and utterly despise him) and he thinks it's hilarious and encourages it and joins in. My mum's brother committed suicide over 10 years ago and I never get to see my aunt as she lives in a different part of the country as I do. My grandparents have noticed this and always tell my mum to stop being so horrible and tell me not to worry but she continues it. The weird thing is, like I said, her brother committed suicide, You'd think she'd want to prevent another suicide in the family but with the way it's going, she seems to want another suicide. I've considering it numerous times and it's not helping that my mum constantly reminds me of the fact that I'm a waste of space. I wrote a suicide note when I was 14 and going through a mental breakdown due to bullying and my mum found it and thought it was hilarious.
    Maybe you could stay a little bit with your grandparents ? Drop out of your head suicide, it's not worth it. Sorry but your mother looks like she has mental issues How can a mother do such things to her own child Are there any local authorities that you could report your mother's and her partner's behaviour? Maybe if there are local authorities, maybe they would help you to get somewhere to stay, far away from psychologically abusive mother. Just don't stay away from suicidal thoughts :sad:
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    Of all the people in your life, your mum should be the one to encourage and support you the most in life, not put you down. The fact that she laughed when she found your suicide note as a 14 year old is disgusting, she should have immediately found support for you.
    Your dad clearly realises and disagrees with the way in which she treats you so my advice would be to ask him if you could move in with him. If not, try other family members such as Aunties/Uncles?
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    That's really cruel and unfair. Mums are supposed to boost your confidence, not lower it! The only way to attempt to stop this is to confront her and tell her how much it hurts, surely as a mother she'll eventually see sense. If not, then you're far better than that. I know this may seem difficult because she's your mum, but this isn't the way to treat your daughter and she needs to realise that. I'm sure you're absolutely beautiful and have great potential to succeed.
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    (Original post by YikezItzAmy)
    I kinda am stupid, I barely made it through primary school and almost got held back a year. She always says it in a spiteful tone, like she's disappointed in me or something, Yeah, I do always think I look bad. I look terrible in dresses and I hate situations in which I have to wear one.
    Try something to boost your confidence. This could be things like becoming more independent, exercising, learning a trade, volunteering.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence this has some good advice.
 
 
 
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