Diaries are meant to be read?

I was talking to my friend a while back cos she had broken up with her boyfriend she said one of the reasons was that he had read her diary, i was shocked by this as i have always believed and thought it was common knowledge that diaries are very private and reading someones diary is a very bad breach of trust and privacy. When i mentioned this to my boyfriend later on he laughed and said that people only write diaries if they expect them to be read. I haven't always kept a diary and only started very recently but i would never expect anyone to read my diary and i'd hate to think my boyfriend or even anyone had read it as it contains some of my deepest thoughts and feelings. Does anybody else think diaries are there to be read? How many of you keep diaries and would you expect or want anyone to read yours?

Reply 1

*starry_eyed_*

14

I've kept a diary for 4years and would be absolutely mortified if anyone ever read mine. I write in there because its my escape from the world, the one place I can get away from it all. Why would I let people into my perfect world? Diaries aren't to be read by others IMO.

Reply 2

Mr. Jim

i write a diary and i think reading someone's diary isn't an OK thing to do, but, i dunno, when i'm writing mine i always try to reserve some of my thoughts coz i'm sure someone'll end up reading them in the future...

Reply 3

Unregistered

When I wrote a diary, I always wrote like I was going to let someone read it, if you understand that. I grew bored .. lol

Reply 4

cinder

10

I've kept a diary sinse I was about seven or eighty, i don't know why I did but they're totally funny to read. Then I started a new diary because Hariette the Spy said all writers kept diaries and I wanted to be an author. Later it was just to vent, make clear what I was thinking, how to work around problems, they are private. I wouldn't want anyone to read my diaries, they're written like notes to myself, random outbursts and they're my personal way of getting through things.

I think it depends on the writer.

Reply 5

Eb

1

I just see them as... like a journal of events... a record really.
Hence 'diary' you can write dates in.
However. I did write one of thoses stupid diary things when I was with my last boyfriends. And i have never read it since we broke up, its like... Im scared.
Aha.

Epistolary novels rock my world though. :love:

Reply 6

Elements

13

*starry_eyed_*

I've kept a diary for 4years and would be absolutely mortified if anyone ever read mine. I write in there because its my escape from the world, the one place I can get away from it all. Why would I let people into my perfect world? Diaries aren't to be read by others IMO.

Same here. I used to write a collection of comprehensive diaries containing my problems, fears, inner most thoughts, good times etc. I don't any more though because of lack of time and also because there has been more bad than good with alot of upset and some anger. I know that I have written about bad experiences before but I don't know whether I want a record of that. Time will tell. I'd hate for someone else to read them because they'd interpret and perceive me wrongly or differently from who I actually am or was. Also, I'd hate for my secrets to be known to somebody else that I have only confided in my diary. It would be a tough call if someone read my diaries, whether I could ever forgive and trust them again. I'm going to have my diaries and other realy special objects buried with me.

Does anybody/ how often do you read your own diaries? It can be quite interesting, nostalgic etc reading them back several years forward in time, don't you think?^o)

Reply 7

clouddweller

Ive tried countless times to write a diary, but it always seemed to just turn into a mundane rundown of the day, and there didnt seem to be much point that so I'd stop.

Ive randomly written some stuff down recently though; just when there was alot on my mind and I wanted to sort through it all :smile:

Really helped. I think it was the only time i wasnt 'writing for someone else' as well.
I wouldnt like anyone else to read it tbh; to me it's private. I wouldnt read someone else's diary and I cant see that there's anything that ratifies anyone reading mine.

Reply 8

M'Lady

12

I've kept a diary for over 5years now and it's far from normal. I allow people to read my diary because I find less people are desperate to read it because they know I have nothing to hide. However if people didn't know I had a diary there wouldn't be this problem in the first place.
I think it all depends on what your diary is for. For me it's an outlet, when I get bored, tired, annoyed, upset, happy you name it I'll write/draw/scribble in my diary. It started because I used to have an over kill of notebooks so I thought I'd just squish them into one.
A diary really is personal though and you have to make it your own otherwise it doesn't work. Personally I don't mind my boyfriend reading my diary, I have nothing to hide from him.

Reply 9

M'Lady

12

clouddweller

Ive tried countless times to write a diary, but it always seemed to just turn into a mundane rundown of the day, and there didnt seem to be much point that so I'd stop.

Ive randomly written some stuff down recently though; just when there was alot on my mind and I wanted to sort through it all :smile:

Really helped. I think it was the only time i wasnt 'writing for someone else' as well.
I wouldnt like anyone else to read it tbh; to me it's private. I wouldnt read someone else's diary and I cant see that there's anything that ratifies anyone reading mine.

You have to make it your own thats why it didn't work. Don't follow how convention says you should write it. I have brainstorms on certain days when I don't feel like writing reems and reems. Sometimes I illustrate how I'm feeling. Occasionally I'll write down a whole few pages worth of writing on one particular event. I stick things in to remember certain times, tickets, photographs, pressed flowers etc.

Edit: I also don't write every day or else it becomes a chore. I might go months without writing anything and then write a months worth of stuff in a week.

Reply 10

clouddweller

i know

i just write indiscriminately now; about anything and everything and as much or as little as i like.
Not writing everyday helps, i write about events that stand out, feelings, hopes and dreams etc etc.....

Reply 11

Kura1984

2

I've written a diary before and, like some of you, grew bored of reiterating mundane everyday events. Plus, I'm very paranoid and expect that somebody will read it, and I do have alot of private thoughts that I don't suppose some people would appreciate.

Can someone tell me the advantages to writing a diary? I'd like to restart one, mostly for the sake of improving my self-analytical and writing skills. Indulgent, yes, but I'm so unaware of my own personality that it could be worth a shot.

Thanking ya.... :smile:

Reply 12

M'Lady

12

Kura1984

I've written a diary before and, like some of you, grew bored of reiterating mundane everyday events. Plus, I'm very paranoid and expect that somebody will read it, and I do have alot of private thoughts that I don't suppose some people would appreciate.

Can someone tell me the advantages to writing a diary? I'd like to restart one, mostly for the sake of improving my self-analytical and writing skills. Indulgent, yes, but I'm so unaware of my own personality that it could be worth a shot.

Thanking ya.... :smile:

for me it's advantageous because it's both a memory of things that I've done and places I've been and things that have happened and it's an outlet
also I want to keep my diaries to pass onto my children and grandchildren, I often wonder what my parents and grandparents were like when they were younger

Reply 13

Echelon

The_Crow

I was talking to my friend a while back cos she had broken up with her boyfriend she said one of the reasons was that he had read her diary, i was shocked by this as i have always believed and thought it was common knowledge that diaries are very private and reading someones diary is a very bad breach of trust and privacy. When i mentioned this to my boyfriend later on he laughed and said that people only write diaries if they expect them to be read. I haven't always kept a diary and only started very recently but i would never expect anyone to read my diary and i'd hate to think my boyfriend or even anyone had read it as it contains some of my deepest thoughts and feelings. Does anybody else think diaries are there to be read? How many of you keep diaries and would you expect or want anyone to read yours?

I've never had the time for diaries. If I'm going to discuss my thoughts and feeling I would rather just discuss it with close friends or have a mental discussion with myself.

A diary is I suppose a personal thing, and should not be read if the writer doesn't want it read. That is just respecting privacy, but at the same time in a relationship there should surely not be all that many secrets to hide?

Reply 14

Angelil

19

I've kept a diary since I was 10 but I've kept it far less frequently since I came to university. I used to write pages and pages every day (even though I was probably repeating myself) and now I probably write just once or twice a month. I started writing it in French while I was in the sixth form after my sister read my diary - I did this as a security measure initially but I have kept it up as it helps my French too. I suspect I write less now because I now have good friends and a boyfriend to talk to if I want to, and I now get on with my parents much better, which wasn't the case when I was at school. I also suspect that I'm now less honest in my diary writing as I used to be - I don't write about everything, especially things I'm not proud of, not because I want to look good particularly but because I don't really want to be reminded in the future! lol

I wouldn't agree that they're 'meant to be read' although some (Anne Frank springs to mind) do write with this intention in mind. I'd be really embarrassed if mine were read!

Reply 15

arpeggio

12

I've got several diaries - one is like a proper diary, which I write personal things in, another is more of an account of special events etc, and I also have an online diary - but it's only open to people who I trust. Even so, there's obviously things I wouldn't write in the online diary. I'd hate the thought of anyone reading my personal diary, because it's like an unwritten rule that you just don't do that. It's like going through someone's bedroom: OK, so not everything in there's going to be "private" as such, but it's yours and it's personal. So I don't agree with what your boyfriend said at all.

Like some other people said, diary-writing is best done whenever you feel like it or else it becomes a chore. I think it's well worth keeping one, especially as a teenager - I've kept diaries for years and it's funny to read old diary entries because it almost sounds like another person. You can change so much over a few years and it's really interesting to keep a record of it. Also, there's little everyday things that happen and I just think it'd be horrible to forget memories and such...

Reply 16

happydinosaur

15

I have never really kept a private diary properly. I have in the past gone through a phase of writing my inner most thoughts and feelings down only to find them again years later and have to destroy them because otherwise I would just end up hating myself for how silly I used to be. I have my online diary, only viewable to people that I trust and wish to share my life with but that is more case of just sharing what wonderful things I have been doing with those people, letting them read about those lovely moments where you see something great or do something amazing and also things like my views on the world in general and reactions to current affairs. Also I use it to write reviews of the plays I go to see and things like that. I just love the idea of being able to write about me and what I think and share those thoughts with other people. It is good to keep the nice little fun memories without hanging on to all the horrible emotional baggage you get from being a teenager. Saying that though, I do wish I had a diary of one particular event from my teenage life simply because it would be very interesting to read!!

Diaries are meant to be read?

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