Really need advice -(long post but please) Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
Hello,

I really need some advice.


I was put on diazepam for a few weeks and Propranolol- longer term to help with physical symptoms of anxiety however I HATED the side effects of propranolol they were so soo soo horrible-made me put on a lot of weight , lose lots of hair ,nausea all the time, couldn't sleep just to name a few.

So from the moment I started taking it I was determined to withdraw but kept stopping then starting again withdrawal was soooo hard.

But with the help of my best friend I gradually withdrew and have been medication free for the past 5 months

However, the anxiety and panic is still there and I just feel so lonely having gone through this for the past 8 years, it's just been so exausting.

Furthermore, I began getting sleep paralysis subsequent to last years events but after withdrawing from propranolol,it seemed to settle and disappear.

However, I woke up this morning and decided to go back to bed and unfortunately the sleep paralysis came back.

It was so terrifying, their was day light coming in to my room from outside
I felt something breathing on my ear and laughing into in , like a really evil laugh and there was this mans face floating above in black and white. He had glasses and only half his face was visible and he did not have a body.

I have tried 'proffessional help' and saw a therapist for 3 years who was not very helpful and just made things worse, I only stopped sessions with her recently after turning 18.

I have also spoken to my GP who is also my mums good friend which just makes it awkward and she just suggests going back onto medication , however I do not want to take meds in my life again as from my experience the cons defo outweigh the pros.

I have spoken to my family- my mum just gets stressed out over it all and pretends it's all ok ( not in a nasty way- just to protect her own emotions), my dad was supportive at first and now has the attitude that this has gone on far to long and is just getting ridiculous and 'fake' now.( again-not in a horrible way , just because he is stressed out by his own life events -understandably)

I don't really have many friends, but I prefer it this way as I believe that it's better to have one or two really good and genuine friendships as opposed to lots of 'friends'.

Despite having always turned to my best friend in a situation like this , I just don't feel like I can anymore, she is always there for me but she just gets confused and doesn't know how to help so what's the point in telling her and stressing her out for no reason.

Also, she's helped me so much when everyone just left.
She made sure I was OK and made sure I stopped taking medication when I was deseprate to withdraw.

So basically, if anyone has read this to the end-literally thank you so so much . Is there any advice you can offer in regards to how to improve things for myself.
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Eru Iluvatar
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#2
Report 5 years ago
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Hey,

Firstly I wanted to say I read this all, and it must be tough dealing with these issues for so long. I understand how it can be so draining when you don't have as much support as you'd like from those around you, even if it's for reasons you can understand, it still makes things harder.

The issue of meds is a tough one, because they do have their benefits, but obviously can have bad side-effects too. Were any alternatives to the Propranonol suggested? Because (and I'm not a doctor, so don't take this as medical advice) there are a number of other medications which may not cause those side-effects, so where Propranonol might not suit, other beta-blockers, or more likely SSRIs (which do have a different range of possible side-effects) might suit better. It might be an idea to try to find another GP who doesn't have any ties to your family, so you can talk to someone impartial about it. In the end it's your choice, but seeing if there is an option with medication where the good potentially outweighs the bad is the first bit of advice I'd give, even if you decide after finding out these options not to take them.

As for talking about it with your best friend, do you think she would want to know about it? I don't know the sort of friendship you have, though I agree with you about preferring a few close friends, so I'd guess that she would prefer, given the choice, to know and to be able to try to help, rather than be ignorant of it and let you struggle through things alone. It's very hard to get someone who hasn't experienced these things to understand fully how difficult they are to deal with, but I think (and I don't know if you agree) that a lot of the benefit of talking to someone about it is just not having to deal with it alone. I know it's a cliche to say 'a problem shared is a problem halved'... I don't think it's quite that simple, but the act of talking to someone who is open and wanting to help and be supportive can in itself be a help.

Finally, if you don't want to find a GP, or can't bring yourself to talk to your friend, the last bit of advice I'd give is that there are a great number of support groups online. While these people might be strangers to you, there are many people who aren't strangers to the sort of things you have to deal with, and talking to someone who has first hand experience of dealing and perhaps overcoming these issues is often the biggest help you can get to feel like you are not alone in your struggles. They can probably help more than some random guy who stumbled across your post while getting reacquainted to TSR, but I'll also say if you want to talk things through some more I'll do my best to help too (and if you don't want to talk about it in 'public', even while anon, just send a message my way instead).
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
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(Original post by Eru Iluvatar)
Hey,

Firstly I wanted to say I read this all, and it must be tough dealing with these issues for so long. I understand how it can be so draining when you don't have as much support as you'd like from those around you, even if it's for reasons you can understand, it still makes things harder.

The issue of meds is a tough one, because they do have their benefits, but obviously can have bad side-effects too. Were any alternatives to the Propranonol suggested? Because (and I'm not a doctor, so don't take this as medical advice) there are a number of other medications which may not cause those side-effects, so where Propranonol might not suit, other beta-blockers, or more likely SSRIs (which do have a different range of possible side-effects) might suit better. It might be an idea to try to find another GP who doesn't have any ties to your family, so you can talk to someone impartial about it. In the end it's your choice, but seeing if there is an option with medication where the good potentially outweighs the bad is the first bit of advice I'd give, even if you decide after finding out these options not to take them.

As for talking about it with your best friend, do you think she would want to know about it? I don't know the sort of friendship you have, though I agree with you about preferring a few close friends, so I'd guess that she would prefer, given the choice, to know and to be able to try to help, rather than be ignorant of it and let you struggle through things alone. It's very hard to get someone who hasn't experienced these things to understand fully how difficult they are to deal with, but I think (and I don't know if you agree) that a lot of the benefit of talking to someone about it is just not having to deal with it alone. I know it's a cliche to say 'a problem shared is a problem halved'... I don't think it's quite that simple, but the act of talking to someone who is open and wanting to help and be supportive can in itself be a help.

Finally, if you don't want to find a GP, or can't bring yourself to talk to your friend, the last bit of advice I'd give is that there are a great number of support groups online. While these people might be strangers to you, there are many people who aren't strangers to the sort of things you have to deal with, and talking to someone who has first hand experience of dealing and perhaps overcoming these issues is often the biggest help you can get to feel like you are not alone in your struggles. They can probably help more than some random guy who stumbled across your post while getting reacquainted to TSR, but I'll also say if you want to talk things through some more I'll do my best to help too (and if you don't want to talk about it in 'public', even while anon, just send a message my way instead).

Hi there,

Thank you very much- for not only reading through such a long post but also offering some detailed words of advice.

I appreciate your offer In regards to talking away from the forum and on PM instead, I've just checked and seen that PM doesn't have an anon function and I know it sounds stupid but I'm just paranoid about talking off anon just incase we know eachother(unlikely but possible)

In regards to medication-I know the post was centred around meds but I'm desperate not to be on anything . It was sooo difficult trying to withdraw but I'm considering it all now.
I might look into meds.

So yeah, I would like to talk further-only because you are just someone on the internet so I'm not that embarassed and maybe if I finally open up properly things might improve.

Take care and thank you for advice once agian
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Eru Iluvatar
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi there,

Thank you very much- for not only reading through such a long post but also offering some detailed words of advice.

I appreciate your offer In regards to talking away from the forum and on PM instead, I've just checked and seen that PM doesn't have an anon function and I know it sounds stupid but I'm just paranoid about talking off anon just incase we know eachother(unlikely but possible)

In regards to medication-I know the post was centred around meds but I'm desperate not to be on anything . It was sooo difficult trying to withdraw but I'm considering it all now.
I might look into meds.

So yeah, I would like to talk further-only because you are just someone on the internet so I'm not that embarassed and maybe if I finally open up properly things might improve.

Take care and thank you for advice once agian
No problem at all, I might not have gone through exactly what you have, but I've been through enough to understand where your feelings are coming from.

I understand about the anon thing, I guess it's not allowed to stop the feature of anonymous messaging being abused. Though unless you know anyone who has been living in Ireland for the past 5 years, and just come back to the UK I'd say it's pretty certain we don't

And I do know what you mean about meds, not only are there the side-effects, there's the thought that it might make you feel weak to have to rely on them, or that you'll be altered so much you wont be yourself any more. Most people will push meds as the solution to everything, I'm not one of those, but I've heard enough stories from people who have struggled with meds, only to find after a few attempts a combination that works well and doesn't cause negative side-effects, that I wouldn't give up on looking at meds as an option.

As for the question of being anonymous, if you're not comfortable messaging me on here if it shows your user name, but do want to talk outside of posting in this thread, maybe set up a second TSR account and PM me from there?
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