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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    Eh? Bunthulhu, with all due respect, you don't seem to understand that there are two people in a relationship, and while dedicating himself to the other person might be nice, the OP's boyfriend may well be too weak-minded to do so, especially in something as world-shattering as "hold on a second, I think I might actually be gay". Sometimes that's just not possible and this seems like a perfect situation for that. And if he's too weak-minded to repress his sexuality (not that I'm sure anyone here would ask him to), then dumping his girlfriend with the excuse "I think I'm gay" wouldn't go down well either, would it?
    Yes obviously there are 2 people in a relationship; but he seems to have forgotten that! And no, it's not just 'nice', it's the whole point of a relationship!

    Basically you're saying that if you are gay you have no choice but to participate in gay sex with random men off the internet regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not :confused:

    Realising that you are gay does NOT equate to 'must..cheat...on...girlfriend'!
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    (Original post by bunthulhu)
    Yes obviously there are 2 people in a relationship; but he seems to have forgotten that! And no, it's not just 'nice', it's the whole point of a relationship!
    It was irony. What I'm saying is, compared to your own sanity, not cheating on your girlfriend is nice. This guy has been presented with "oh ****, I'm gay, what do I do now". He can either:
    1. hurt himself (by repressing his sexuality)
    2. hurt his girlfriend (by dumping her)
    3. hurt no one (but cheat on his girlfriend).

    3 seems the sensible choice for someone that's not strong-minded enough to do 2, and would you agree with me that 1 was just wrong?

    (Original post by bunthulhu)
    Basically you're saying that if you are gay you have no choice but to participate in gay sex with random men off the internet regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not :confused:
    No I'm not. I'm saying that breaking off the relationship would be hard and stopping being gay would be impossible (or at least very hard, depending on your opinion). He was probably seeking physical relief, not to break up with his girlfriend. If he really didn't care about her any more he'd have no problem in breaking up with her... but he hasn't. That's what leads me to think that, although things must be bad for her, things must be worse for him. He can't do anything without risking someone being hurt - himself, or the person he's been closest to for the last (however long). Option 1 above would drive him insane and make him resentful and bitter. Option 2 has broken people before and will continue to do so. So maybe in his eyes 3 is the only option.

    It's not commendable, but it's logical.
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    It was irony. What I'm saying is, compared to your own sanity, not cheating on your girlfriend is nice. This guy has been presented with "oh ****, I'm gay, what do I do now". He can either:
    1. hurt himself (by repressing his sexuality)
    2. hurt his girlfriend (by dumping her)
    3. hurt no one (but cheat on his girlfriend).

    3 seems the sensible choice for someone that's not strong-minded enough to do 2, and would you agree with me that 1 was just wrong?


    No I'm not. I'm saying that breaking off the relationship would be hard and stopping being gay would be impossible (or at least very hard, depending on your opinion). He was probably seeking physical relief, not to break up with his girlfriend. If he really didn't care about her any more he'd have no problem in breaking up with her... but he hasn't. That's what leads me to think that, although things must be bad for her, things must be worse for him. He can't do anything without risking someone being hurt - himself, or the person he's been closest to for the last (however long). Option 1 above would drive him insane and make him resentful and bitter. Option 2 has broken people before and will continue to do so. So maybe in his eyes 3 is the only option.

    It's not commendable, but it's logical.
    You've forgotten the most important option - talking to his girlfriend about his feelings! :p:
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    (Original post by bunthulhu)
    You've forgotten the most important option - talking to his girlfriend about his feelings! :p:
    Meh, comes under #2. There's no easy way to say "we've been going out a year but for three months I've been gay".
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    How can you hurt no one by cheating? It'll hurt more than just telling her how you feel, because chances are she'll find out sooner or later (if you cheat)
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    Err, maybe, but at the time, it probably seemed like the sensible option. He wasn't going to get out of this not hurting anyone, so I guess he just wanted to put off hurting anyone for the longest he could.
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    Maybe he doesn't know yet, if his feelings are un-resolved then that would explain why he couldn't explain them. You said that he had never really experimented maybe he is doing that now and is afraid of the result being him fancying you and you not being there. He is however cheating on you in your own flat so now is good time to confront him, I wouldn't let it carry on I'd tell him to carry on experimenting without me. However it is important to find out from him what was going on otherwise you'll always wonder.
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    Isn't this thread kinda old?
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    (Original post by JonathanH)
    Er, guys. Have none of you considered that this topic may well be a load of crap - considering the fact that the OP's story changed dramatically and entirely inconsistently in 3 days, as I pointed out on the previous page...
    yea I lolled at it and didn't respond
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    (Original post by Jonatan)
    Isn't this thread kinda old?
    Oops... someone revived it. :mad:
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    Nice spot JonathanH. I'm interested in an explanation from the OP
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    keep a couple of things in mind...

    blokes have a habit of wanting to wind other up... he could be playing tricks on a pal or something... (however unlikely)

    if you confront him about his sexuality, he's gonna go into a major defensive mode... so do it tactfully.. dont just storm in and slam it on him. and give him a chance to explain.. or he'll run a mile.. i know i would

    if the guy is with you, and your relationship is stilll good, its highly likely he still loves you.. so you can prolly scratch the "purely gay" idea..

    and lastly, how is he socially? i mean, does he have a good selection of friends? i mean, its a good way of getting friends... even if they are gay.. remember, gay men, are much easier to talk to about manly feelings, its not really something that a man can talk about with his buddies, as he'll prolly get the piss taken outta him...

    from experience. i used to go to gay night clubs with my mates. i'm know i'm not gay, but you dont get this masculine rivalry with gay men, its a much more relaxed environment.. maybe its something to do with that?

    i think the only person who could answer this is your bloke..
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    Hehe I just checked my "Who Quoted me?" section on my User CP (as I do wherenver I am on TSR) and found that people are quoting me on this thread! This thread is sooooooo old I barely remember even making it lol

    Anyway, good to know that people on TSR are as persistent as ever in helping there fellow TSR'ians in solving whatever problem they may have, allbeit a few months down the line...........lol :p:


    :tsr2: :tsr2:
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    (Original post by chloeprice)
    Hehe I just checked my "Who Quoted me?" section on my User CP (as I do wherenver I am on TSR) and found that people are quoting me on this thread! This thread is sooooooo old I barely remember even making it lol

    Anyway, good to know that people on TSR are as persistent as ever in helping there fellow TSR'ians in solving whatever problem they may have, allbeit a few months down the line...........lol :p:


    :tsr2: :tsr2:
    Perhaps; though not so far.
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    I only just relaised there is a who quoted me button!
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    Meh, comes under #2. There's no easy way to say "we've been going out a year but for three months I've been gay".
    If you actually love someone then it's easier to talk to them than to cheat on them. Conscience, huzzah
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    (Original post by bunthulhu)
    If you actually love someone then it's easier to talk to them than to cheat on them. Conscience, huzzah
    Are you one of these people who define 'love' around their own take on it? As I said, he might be weak-minded. Doesn't mean he loves her less, does it? :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Fleece)
    Nice spot JonathanH. I'm interested in an explanation from the OP
    Dammit, I wanted answers!
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    Are you one of these people who define 'love' around their own take on it? As I said, he might be weak-minded. Doesn't mean he loves her less, does it? :rolleyes:
    To me it does. If my boyfriend cheated on me (especially if he did it so explicitly as to invite someone to my house from a sex website and 'service them') and tried to cover up his tracks, then that would be a big fat flashing siren that he didn't love me.
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    (Original post by JonathanH)
    Dammit, I wanted answers!
    Yeah. I'd just give up. Especially seeing as OP was the same person who started a topic about a week before this one originally which said her boyfriend filmed her having sex and was blackmailing her into staying with him. Or something along those lines.

    And about a billion other 'suspicious' topics. :rolleyes:

    Some people just need the attention.
 
 
 
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