scared of relationships
I suffered from various forms of abuse since a young age, and now I have managed to get completely away from the situations I was in. (I don't really want to go into detail so sorry it sounds really vague) Iv never actually talked about my past with anyone.
But I struggle with forming relationships with people friends or other. I have a complete lack of trust of people and scared of having intimate relationships with people.
I end up finishing it with boyfriends when things start to be getting serious or when i start to feel comfortable with them which is often only 1/2 months into the relationship, first of all because Im scared of what I might tell them about my past and scare them off, but I also think some of it has to do with the abuse I suffered but Im not sure.
I often feel confused and scared about developing feelings for people for fear of getting hurt.
I find myself very disconnected to my emotions and my feelings for other people and often very alienated as other people don't understand the turmoil going through my head when Im in a relationship or even when Im single.
the worst thing I feel is that Im unable to speak with ANYONE about my past and its become that Im considered a very secretive person even with things unrelated to my past.
Basically I think the reason I wrote this is to see if this is a 'normal' kind of response to childhood abuse?
And if anyone has any similar reactions to relationships I would love to hear from you.
But I struggle with forming relationships with people friends or other. I have a complete lack of trust of people and scared of having intimate relationships with people.
I end up finishing it with boyfriends when things start to be getting serious or when i start to feel comfortable with them which is often only 1/2 months into the relationship, first of all because Im scared of what I might tell them about my past and scare them off, but I also think some of it has to do with the abuse I suffered but Im not sure.
I often feel confused and scared about developing feelings for people for fear of getting hurt.
I find myself very disconnected to my emotions and my feelings for other people and often very alienated as other people don't understand the turmoil going through my head when Im in a relationship or even when Im single.
the worst thing I feel is that Im unable to speak with ANYONE about my past and its become that Im considered a very secretive person even with things unrelated to my past.
Basically I think the reason I wrote this is to see if this is a 'normal' kind of response to childhood abuse?
And if anyone has any similar reactions to relationships I would love to hear from you.
Hi
Thanks for your message, it is great that you are trying to get some support with this.
Firstly I want to reassure you that what you are describing is totally normal for someone who has experienced childhood abuse. Abuse can have long lasting emotional and psychological impacts on us and it is not surprising that this would affect how you feel in relationships. If you were abused as a child by someone you knew and trusted, it is understandable that learning to trust someone would be really hard and could bring up very difficult memories.
The positive thing is that you are ready to think about addressing this and you are not alone. There are lots of great organisations out there that can help you.
I know that you find it hard to speak to anyone, but perhaps speaking to someone objective who is trained to deal with these kinds of things, who hears from people with similar experiences every day may feel easier than talking to a friend?
This is the national association for people abused in childhood and they offer free phone and email advice. There is also a support pack you can download and details of local support groups. You mention wanting to hear from other people who have had similar experiences, so a support group could be really useful for you.
http://www.napac.org.uk/
The NSPCC also offer support for this issue:
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/online-advice/adults-abused-in-childhood/adults-abused-in-childhood_wda87228.html
I really hope this helps and that you are able to talk to someone. Come back here anytime as well if you need to,
take care
Jo
Thanks for your message, it is great that you are trying to get some support with this.
Firstly I want to reassure you that what you are describing is totally normal for someone who has experienced childhood abuse. Abuse can have long lasting emotional and psychological impacts on us and it is not surprising that this would affect how you feel in relationships. If you were abused as a child by someone you knew and trusted, it is understandable that learning to trust someone would be really hard and could bring up very difficult memories.
The positive thing is that you are ready to think about addressing this and you are not alone. There are lots of great organisations out there that can help you.
I know that you find it hard to speak to anyone, but perhaps speaking to someone objective who is trained to deal with these kinds of things, who hears from people with similar experiences every day may feel easier than talking to a friend?
This is the national association for people abused in childhood and they offer free phone and email advice. There is also a support pack you can download and details of local support groups. You mention wanting to hear from other people who have had similar experiences, so a support group could be really useful for you.
http://www.napac.org.uk/
The NSPCC also offer support for this issue:
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/online-advice/adults-abused-in-childhood/adults-abused-in-childhood_wda87228.html
I really hope this helps and that you are able to talk to someone. Come back here anytime as well if you need to,
take care
Jo
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