Would you let your son be feminine?

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Using things like calling a boy a girl as an insult is extremely sexist against females, funny how you never hear the reverse used as an insult, "stop acting like a boy".

Is the reason feminine men are mocked and stigmatised by some bigots, unfortunately left over in our society, more often than not due to contempt for women or not gender conformity in general?

I'm interested if males on here would force their children to adhere to strict gender roles and what would they do if there son turned out to be feminine?

Who are you not to let your son be whoever he wants? The idea that you can question his freedom (in terms of whatever you let him do) is ridiculous.

Reply 21

Spontogical

I think I'd be more attuned to telling him that it is OK to show some emotion when you feel like it - not to bottle everything in etc.

Reply 22

Seb.

In terms of emotions: I'd tell him that it is okay to express them.
In terms of generally being feminine: I'd prefer him not to be, however if he turned out to be, I'd just get over it an it isn't my business, really. His choice.

Reply 23

sugar-n-spice

Yes, but I honestly think most Western parents try to emasculate their sons and I wouldn't do that either.

Original post by Boopho

Using things like calling a boy a girl as an insult is extremely sexist against females, funny how you never hear the reverse used as an insult, "stop acting like a boy".

Lots of people criticise women they feel are not conforming to female gender roles or are "acting like men" :s-smilie:

I honestly can't believe you've never seen this, it's just so common if a girl takes part in sport, or speaks her mind.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 24

Boopho

Original post by Miracle Day

I'd much prefer them not to be, but I'd get over it.

Why?

Reply 25

Maid Marian

I wouldn't want him to be, for his own sake, but I'd get over it.

Reply 26

Miracle Day

Original post by Boopho

Why?

Because I dislike the trait.

Reply 27

Boopho

Original post by Hyde

Your sh** is already annoying me. There have been countless times when I've seen a girl teased for acting like a boy - girls being teased for being in a rugby squad etc.

As much as male ballerina's? Nope, again false equivalences. I will raise my sons feminine.

Reply 28

Boopho

Original post by Miracle Day

Because I dislike the trait.

What trait? Femininity is broad. And why do you dislike it? Do you also dislike in females?

**** no

Original post by Juichiro

Who are you not to let your son be whoever he wants? The idea that you can question his freedom (in terms of whatever you let him do) is ridiculous.

But it isn't my idea, it is parents idea and the actuality of what they do? Are you living under a rock?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFn81_HAvWg

Reply 31

Hyde

Original post by Boopho

As much as male ballerina's? Nope, again false equivalences. I will raise my sons feminine.

What, have you devised some scale of sexism? You are sexist yourself by clearly inferring that likening a male to a female is non-equivocal.
I don't care what you do with your sons

Reply 32

Boopho

Original post by sugar-n-spice

Lots of people criticise women they feel are not conforming to female gender roles or are "acting like men" :s-smilie:

I honestly can't believe you've never seen this, it's just so common if a girl takes part in sport, or speaks her mind.

I've never seen a guy tell an outspoken woman to stop acting like a guy, it's more know your place, not demonizing men.

No many girls in my school played sports and were all popular. Women are not called men as an insult and they are not called slanged words for male genetilia to be demeaned. Stop making false equivalences. For instance a woman wearing men's pants no one would bat an eyelid but a man wearing a skirt they would go crazy. It is undeniably more accepted.

Reply 33

thoyub

I would prefer him to be feminine than overly masculine. Although I wouldn't push him in either direction. But I would always let him be feminine if he wants. That way, when he gets into a relationship with a girl, he won't hurt her or treat her wrong. If he is more feminine than masculine then he will be gentle with her both physically and emotionally and he won't ever hurt her.

That can only be good, right?

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 34

Sisu

Original post by Boopho

I will raise my sons feminine.

And then he'll get bullied and come home crying to you everyday and be tormented throughout the rest of his teeange life and by the time his a adult he'll probably be diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. And why? Because of your pathetic need to challenge gender norms and use your child as a tool to further your agenda. Will all his torment/anguish bother you? No because you'll probably just see it as a reinforcement of your viewpoint regarding perceptions of masculinity vs femininity in opposite genders and you'll be a little pleased at the fact that your suspicions have been confirmed, you sick sick sociopathetic (yes deliberate) feminist.

Reply 35

jarasta

Original post by Boopho

As much as male ballerina's? Nope, again false equivalences. I will raise my sons feminine.

Even if they displayed masculinity? Why not just leave him be and let him turn out either way instead of practically forcing him to be feminine. Hypocritical much? o_O
Are you suggesting feminity is better than masculanity --> women>men?
And you care about equality you say :rolleyes:

. Interesting.
Btw I like ballet, if I could be a male ballerina I could.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 36

Hyde

Original post by Boopho

So you could argue then that males are bigger victims of gender roles huh?
Seriously, get your feminism and ram it up your a*se.

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Reply 37

Millie228

I'm not a feminist and I believe in biology - meaning that most men (testosterone-driven) are masculine and most women (estrogen-driven) are feminine. A minority will be a balance between the two or have more in common with the opposite gender. I believe it is modern feminism that has attempted to reverse the sexes or have them approach one another and one of the methods of doing this is to tell men to be more sensitive to get women (result friendzone) or to tell women to think of success in masculine terms and that adopting as many male traits as possible is good (anything very feminine is old-fashioned and oppressing).
I disagree with radical feminism entirely and I simply cannot agree with women who holds these views, at the point where I have given up debating with them. Fortunately, it seems radical feminism is dying.

I will raise my children with traditional gender roles, but if they turn out to be adverse to it, I'd let them be who they are. That will take time though, and as long as they are living in my house, the boys will be raised to be men and the girls to be women.
So it is not a question about "letting him be feminine" as much as "making him feminine". Of course there is a small chance he is more femininely disposed, but most likely not, and I will raise him true to his nature and to become the man he wants to be.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 38

sugar-n-spice

Original post by Boopho

I'm just going to assume you're suffering from tunnel vision, telling women they are behaving like men is one of the main ways of demeaning them for displaying behaviour the people who are insulting them don't like and men are often called dicks just as women are called the c-word.

I agree with the second bit, but attacking men for dressing like women, but not doing the same for women dressing like men, is probably less a symptom of femininity = bad and more because there is much more stigma attached to men who are gay than women who are gay. A lesbian is cool and hot a gay man is at best a fairy and at worst a deviant and a paedophile. Just to clarify, I don't like how much straight men obsess about lesbianism, but the way gay men are viewed is much worse.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 39

username1230506

lol ever heard of david reimer. He was brought up like a girl and told he was a girl because he had no penis but he always acted like a boy and in primary school he was bullied a lot by girls for acting like a boy. So yes the opposite obviously happens.