Hello Everyone,
What I am about to tell you is very dear to my heart and I would like all of you to please take this seriously, since it happened to me yesterday and I am still in a state of denial and shock about what happened and feel that I can possibly reduce the amount of denial and shock I am in by talking to others about it.
Well it started yesterday evening at around 9:00pm and involved my one and a half year old Springer Spaniel and myself. Let me first tell you about my dog. She is the best dog that anyone could have asked for. Ever since we bought her from a well-known friend I fell in love with her straight away, she was adorable! She is a pedigree and was well worth all the money that we spent on her. For some reason out of my mother and brother it was me that had formed a special bond with her. She would only come and snuggle and sleep on my lap, play little "run away" games with me and do a whole lot of cute stuff such as let me cuddle and kiss her as well as play little "rough games" such as tug of war, I thought life was great with her!
Yesterday evening we were both lying on the mat in the living room watching Big Brother which is a normal thing that we usually do together (not watch Big Brother, lie on the mat watching television). My dog was asleep beside me and I decided to give her a little kiss, since she is a big softy and loves to be treated like a little baby. I cannot remember exactly what happened as my brain has gone fuzzy, possibly through shock, but I think that when I went down to kiss her, the moment I did kiss her a noise occured outside which woke her up and then I saw something in her that I have never seen before.
I cannot remember exactly but she made a very funny noise (it was not a growl or anything like that - it sounded like an eeire sort of music, I just can't remember) and the next moment I was howling in pain and started to see blood everywhere.
I ran to the bathroom and was shocked to see that I had a massive gash in the top lip of my mouth - it then clicked that she had bit me! I panicked and did not know what to do, but then took the keys to the house, ran out and left the dog and went to my mum's friend's house down the road where my mum and brother were. My mum's friend's husband opened the door and let me in and I went into the lounge. I started to feel all dizzy and faint so had to sit down on the sofa, while my mum's friend gave me some ice.
To cut a long story short (at this point) my mum rang my dad up (as they are divorced) to come and take me to the hospital; while I was waiting I could not just believe what had happened, my little baby dog had actually bit me, the dog that I have known for a year and a half had bit me, bit ME. Thoughts kept running through my head and I was shaking like nobody's business. I just could not believe it and still can't.
When my dad came he took me to A&E (Accident and Emergency) and when I was about to get into the car I started to cry. I still feel teary now while I am writing this, but I just do not know why. My mum had said that if the dog ever bit one of us she would go, but I can't just face it. I knew that she did it by accident and I would not want her to be put down, since then that burden would be on me forever, I would be sending an animal to its death.
I arrived at the A&E around 45 minutes later and had to wait over an hour and a half. When it was my turn I was lucky to hear that she had not pierced my whole lip, there were just two gashes - one of the outside top of my lip, but the worst one on the inside of my lip. When I saw it in the mirror at my mum's friend's house it looked bad. I can only describe it as a tiny, tiny bomb even smaller than a pea being put into your mouth and onto your lip and watching the flesh being pulled outwards as it explodes.
The nurse decided not to stich it up, due to the chance that there might stich up the infection too if there was any, but gave me two different strong antibiotics to take for one week. My dad took me home to my mums and I was faced with <i>it</i>, my dog. The moment I got in my dog was so excited, it was like nothing had happened. I went to stroke her and she wibbled for her life (since she wibbles like mad when she is happy and/or excited). I spoke to my mum and told her again what had happened and she too said that she would never be able to trust the dog again 100%.
My lip at this moment in time is very bruised, I look like Jacky Stalone which is just hideous. I now have a massive hole on the inside of my lip and a big gash on the outside of my upper lip. The nurse said that I would be left with scarring and I am just devistated. I could and still cannot swallow properly, since I cannot move my top lip at all. It is like someone has paralysed it and I can only move my bottom lip. The good thing is that I still have one week left before I go back to school, while I have completed all of my exams, which is another good point as I do not have extra burdens to worry about.
I have just woken up and cannot eat or drink a thing. I have even tried to drink through a straw but cannot, since I cannot get my top lip over the straw, while trying to put the straw at the side and back of my mouth does not work either. When I woke up and went to the bathroom, all I could see was the blood around and inside my mouth from the night before. It was around 00:30 the time that I arrived back home and was emotionally and physically drained and still am. I nearly cried again when I saw my face in the bathroom this morning as I had blood stuck to my teeth, blood stuck to my mouth and all over I just look a mess. I even feel guilty in a way, since my brother was upset, since he has never seen his older brother cry before and last night he did, which was a big shock for not only him, but me. I have not cried in ages and I feel that in doing so I have been able to release some of my emotions.
It is now morning and I am still very much in pain. I have all of these mixed emotions in my head as to what is going to happen next. The dog is acting like nothing has happened, but I just can't help in being a little wary of her, considering that it is just her and me for the rest of the day in the house together. I feel that I have been betrayed by a member of my family and am worried that we will never have a relationship at the same level as we have had in the past, because of this incident.
Don't get me wrong, I totally agree that what my dog has done is out of order and I do not know if I will be able to forgive her 100% for what she has done, but I need to try and move on. I will have a constant reminder of what she has done to me everday, since I am going to be scarred, but I don't think that I can face it at the moment.
My dog has never been violent in the past as she is just such a big baby, she is even scared of creepy crawlies and butterflies, so I just cannot believe that MY dog has done THIS to ME! I just can't understand, WHY?
I doubt that I am going to be able to eat nor drink today, since for one I cannot as its too painful, while I also get a "nice" taste of blood when I try, which just makes me gag and I can feel the hole in my lip too. I know what I am going to say might illustrate my identity, but this week has been too eventful for me, since I first of all nearly faint by donating blood and then lose even more blood because of this accident.
I do not know how to move on from this incident, since I do not know what to think. I know for a fact that my dog would not hurt anyone and so should not be put down, but then again she hurt me, yes, she hurt me so what does that mean? I feel very emotional today and just need to talk to some other people to try and help me get through this. I am sorry that this post is very long, but I just feel so betrayed... betrayed by my own dog
