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Acceptable age to get engaged/married?
So I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and he has told me he has bought an engagement ring of course to which I was absolutely thrilled and all that mushy love stuff :')
I mentioned it to my mum and she said "you're too young etc". I'm 19 years old but if we were to get married it wouldn't be for another 2-3 years so by then I would be 22/23.
So my question is what would you say is an acceptable age to get engaged and married? Because there is apparently an age too young yet my grandparents who have been together 49 years got married when they were merely 19 years old themselves.
I mentioned it to my mum and she said "you're too young etc". I'm 19 years old but if we were to get married it wouldn't be for another 2-3 years so by then I would be 22/23.
So my question is what would you say is an acceptable age to get engaged and married? Because there is apparently an age too young yet my grandparents who have been together 49 years got married when they were merely 19 years old themselves.
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Mid 20s is fine really.
Young marriages were common that time. But now its important that you settle down and are ready. As mentioned above i agree, mid 20's is great. Its perfect as a matter of fact.
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Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by LydiaLydia818
So I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and he has told me he has bought an engagement ring of course to which I was absolutely thrilled and all that mushy love stuff :')
I mentioned it to my mum and she said "you're too young etc". I'm 19 years old but if we were to get married it wouldn't be for another 2-3 years so by then I would be 22/23.
So my question is what would you say is an acceptable age to get engaged and married? Because there is apparently an age too young yet my grandparents who have been together 49 years got married when they were merely 19 years old themselves.
I mentioned it to my mum and she said "you're too young etc". I'm 19 years old but if we were to get married it wouldn't be for another 2-3 years so by then I would be 22/23.
So my question is what would you say is an acceptable age to get engaged and married? Because there is apparently an age too young yet my grandparents who have been together 49 years got married when they were merely 19 years old themselves.
Hi
Asking if there is a certain age to get engaged isn't a question someone else can answer for you.
I think it's great that your boyfriend has bought an engagement ring and I can imagine how excited and happy you are!
I am 19 too and I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, I know that he's the one and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, we've had our ups and downs, arguments and have been through a lot! Knowing that we could get through it all is what made us both realise that we want to be together in the future. We both want to get engaged at around 22/23.
Maybe 19 is a little young to get married, but to get engaged, that is entirely up to you. If you feel you are ready and know that he is the one.
Don't rush into anything that you might regret later. You have only been with him for a year, maybe talk to your boyfriend about this, ask him how he feels and see if you can both come with an answer.
Good luck
Any age above 20s is an acceptable age to get married.
Original post by styleyourwrist
Hi
Asking if there is a certain age to get engaged isn't a question someone else can answer for you.
I think it's great that your boyfriend has bought an engagement ring and I can imagine how excited and happy you are!
I am 19 too and I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, I know that he's the one and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, we've had our ups and downs, arguments and have been through a lot! Knowing that we could get through it all is what made us both realise that we want to be together in the future. We both want to get engaged at around 22/23.
Maybe 19 is a little young to get married, but to get engaged, that is entirely up to you. If you feel you are ready and know that he is the one.
Don't rush into anything that you might regret later. You have only been with him for a year, maybe talk to your boyfriend about this, ask him how he feels and see if you can both come with an answer.
Good luck
Asking if there is a certain age to get engaged isn't a question someone else can answer for you.
I think it's great that your boyfriend has bought an engagement ring and I can imagine how excited and happy you are!
I am 19 too and I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, I know that he's the one and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, we've had our ups and downs, arguments and have been through a lot! Knowing that we could get through it all is what made us both realise that we want to be together in the future. We both want to get engaged at around 22/23.
Maybe 19 is a little young to get married, but to get engaged, that is entirely up to you. If you feel you are ready and know that he is the one.
Don't rush into anything that you might regret later. You have only been with him for a year, maybe talk to your boyfriend about this, ask him how he feels and see if you can both come with an answer.
Good luck
Thank you! That advice is super helpful
I definitely know he's the one and I totally agree 19 is too young to get married, but as I said if we do go ahead with it wouldn't be until I was at least 22. Original post by LydiaLydia818
Thank you! That advice is super helpful I definitely know he's the one and I totally agree 19 is too young to get married, but as I said if we do go ahead with it wouldn't be until I was at least 22.
I definitely know he's the one and I totally agree 19 is too young to get married, but as I said if we do go ahead with it wouldn't be until I was at least 22. No problem
I hope it all works out for you.
Don't hesitate to PM me if you need to ask about anything else
everybody is different although I love my boyfriend to bits and I do eventually want to marry him I don't want to get married till im about 26, its not because im not committed but its because I don't feel ready to take that step. Its not because I don't love him but once you get married/ move into together your whole relationship changes you cant just see each other a few days a week and see the good bits your with each other all the time you have to work financially together which can cause friction. Me and my boyfriend both like our own space aswell when your married you don't really get that. Id rather wait until ive graduated from uni been working a few years and have matured before I think of marriage because to me marriage is for life. Im not saying its bad to get married at 19 my parents were married at 20 and are still together but you've only been with him a year which in the long run isint that long why don't you enjoy each others company for a few more years then think about marriage in3/4 years? a year is not long at all
Original post by LydiaLydia818
Thank you! That advice is super helpful I definitely know he's the one and I totally agree 19 is too young to get married, but as I said if we do go ahead with it wouldn't be until I was at least 22.
I definitely know he's the one and I totally agree 19 is too young to get married, but as I said if we do go ahead with it wouldn't be until I was at least 22. The problem is that getting engaged is seen (obviously) as making the decision to get married, and committing to that happening. So if you understand why people think 19 is too young to get married, you should also get why they won't take you seriously if you talk about getting engaged at that age either. It's your choice, though. I'd just be wary of going through the 19-23 years (which can involve a lot of change to your mindset, especially if you move out and go to uni then) with a ring on your finger, and finding out that you feel trapped in a decision you made when you were a different person to the one you are at 22/23/24.
I don't think other people can decide what's an 'acceptable' age to get married and all of the people posting here.. as far as you know their decision is a)arbitrary or b) reflects the age they want to get married... It's a personal decision based on your current circumstances. I would probably generally advise people against getting married until they are a little older (21/22) but when to get engaged..
Well, I think this is less important because you can plan a long engagement (a couple of years) or a short engagement (e.g a couple of months) Longer engagements are more of a trend now (as well as getting married later - the average age started rising with the introduction of the pill) but at the same time, it's important to remember that an engagement is a public promise to marry the other person. Unfortunately they do get broken, but also I would advise waiting to get engaged until you're really sure, and whenever that is for you - it's your and your partners decision, and that alone. You're the people it will effect.
Well, I think this is less important because you can plan a long engagement (a couple of years) or a short engagement (e.g a couple of months) Longer engagements are more of a trend now (as well as getting married later - the average age started rising with the introduction of the pill) but at the same time, it's important to remember that an engagement is a public promise to marry the other person. Unfortunately they do get broken, but also I would advise waiting to get engaged until you're really sure, and whenever that is for you - it's your and your partners decision, and that alone. You're the people it will effect.
Mid 20s, but I guess it can be much older with males as well
The age you are suggesting is a bit young for your generation because average marriage age is going up but twenties seems a reasonable time.
I think in a relationship of 1 year at 19 years of age would be generally too soon, only because I doubt you have reliable answers to (very non-romantic questions!) like:
- What are your attitudes towards finances? How will you manage shared finances as a couple/ cope with financial difficulty?
- What are your attitudes toward managing a household and how will you do this together as a couple?
- What will it be like living together independently from your families?
- How well do/will your careers work together?
- How well do you know and get along with one anothers' families?
- Will your relationship feel stagnant after a few years, and how will you manage this?
- Does this person have all of the qualities you will desire for the rest of your future?
- Etc
There might never be a 100% answer to some of these questions, and commitment is always a risk. But you have to ask yourself are you in a particularly bad position to know the answer some of these questions aged 19, still dependant on mum and dad(?), not knowing your future career(?), after only a year long relationship which I presume hasn't had an opportunity to experience stagnation/mundanity/financial obstacles/living together etc?
Then again all 19 year-olds, and all relationships are unique. I've made a fair few assumptions which might not be true.
Some individuals' have successful relationships or even marriages from this age. But is that something they could have known, or just good fortune?
An engagement is less of a commitment than marriage - but it will still be embarassing and painful (and may affect the way you view future engagements) to break it off if the worst happens.
- What are your attitudes towards finances? How will you manage shared finances as a couple/ cope with financial difficulty?
- What are your attitudes toward managing a household and how will you do this together as a couple?
- What will it be like living together independently from your families?
- How well do/will your careers work together?
- How well do you know and get along with one anothers' families?
- Will your relationship feel stagnant after a few years, and how will you manage this?
- Does this person have all of the qualities you will desire for the rest of your future?
- Etc
There might never be a 100% answer to some of these questions, and commitment is always a risk. But you have to ask yourself are you in a particularly bad position to know the answer some of these questions aged 19, still dependant on mum and dad(?), not knowing your future career(?), after only a year long relationship which I presume hasn't had an opportunity to experience stagnation/mundanity/financial obstacles/living together etc?
Then again all 19 year-olds, and all relationships are unique. I've made a fair few assumptions which might not be true.
Some individuals' have successful relationships or even marriages from this age. But is that something they could have known, or just good fortune?
An engagement is less of a commitment than marriage - but it will still be embarassing and painful (and may affect the way you view future engagements) to break it off if the worst happens.
(edited 11 years ago)
congratulations! You are at a fine age to be engaged, but dont rush into marriage, a few years being engaged is fun and there is no rush.
I met my husband when I was 18, living together/engaged at 19, married when I was 21. It seems young, he is a bit older (7 years) and it felt like the right time for us both. Happy ever after! <3
I met my husband when I was 18, living together/engaged at 19, married when I was 21. It seems young, he is a bit older (7 years) and it felt like the right time for us both. Happy ever after! <3
I should probably mention by the way that my boyfriend isn't 19.. He's 25.
And also, to the people who are questioning finance, living together, careers etc. He's in the army, has been since he was 18, and is based in Windsor at the moment and I live in Cornwall so when he comes home on leave we live together.
And also, to the people who are questioning finance, living together, careers etc. He's in the army, has been since he was 18, and is based in Windsor at the moment and I live in Cornwall so when he comes home on leave we live together.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by LydiaLydia818
I should probably mention by the way that my boyfriend isn't 19.. He's 25.
Will you being engaged mean you can't do many of the things he may have or that you otherwise would have?
Going away with your friends, living with them, going travelling, working/living abroad, focussing on your career through your 20s etc.?
You can do all of these things in a relationship, I know I have/plan to, but you need to be certain that the sacrifices you make aren't ones you may regret later, particularly where your partner hasn't had to make those sacrifices and you may resent that fact in 10-15 years.
Original post by roh
Will you being engaged mean you can't do many of the things he may have or that you otherwise would have?
Going away with your friends, living with them, going travelling, working/living abroad, focussing on your career through your 20s etc.?
You can do all of these things in a relationship, I know I have/plan to, but you need to be certain that the sacrifices you make aren't ones you may regret later, particularly where your partner hasn't had to make those sacrifices and you may resent that fact in 10-15 years.
Going away with your friends, living with them, going travelling, working/living abroad, focussing on your career through your 20s etc.?
You can do all of these things in a relationship, I know I have/plan to, but you need to be certain that the sacrifices you make aren't ones you may regret later, particularly where your partner hasn't had to make those sacrifices and you may resent that fact in 10-15 years.
I've never really wanted to live or work abroad. And tbh I won't want to.
Original post by LydiaLydia818
So I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and he has told me he has bought an engagement ring of course to which I was absolutely thrilled and all that mushy love stuff :')
I mentioned it to my mum and she said "you're too young etc". I'm 19 years old but if we were to get married it wouldn't be for another 2-3 years so by then I would be 22/23.
I mentioned it to my mum and she said "you're too young etc". I'm 19 years old but if we were to get married it wouldn't be for another 2-3 years so by then I would be 22/23.
Depends on where you live
And I wouldn't say there's acceptable age really.....Some think 19 is fine, some think only after 30...personal opinion
I think 22/23 is perfect
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