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Regret and bitterness

Anonymous #1

Go to sleep with this every night, wake up with it every morning :frown:

Anyone else the same? How the hell do I turn my life around?

Reply 1

1013

1

You're not going to get many helpful responses unless you give a bit more info.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

OK. Well, I've had many periods of weird states, perhaps depression. My A levels were flying along, getting great marks, predicted grades three A's(This is quite a while back now, when A levels were different) Had offers from Bristol, etc. Then got depressed half way through, after being rejected by Cambridge, although it started slightly before then. Lost a grip on the course, became half hearted in my work and underachieved. However, still scraped the grades for a place at a nice uni, not my first choice, but dead nice. Then didn;'t handle that the first time, just had too much stresa nd issues in my head and didnt face the challenge, also came home 'cos I had to have an operation. Took a year out to recover, worrried the whole time about time passing too much. Went back next year to uni,got in a **** state, failed again. Took another year, studying 'outside' of uni kind of, and passed this time, finally my mood lifted. Then after summer exams, which I passed, had loads of time to hang about, and mood sank again, so much that I didn't prepare for the next term, missed the start and you can guess the rest. More misery. More time completely on my own in my university city. I now miss my uni city badly, and go to bed every night and wake evvery morning with so much regret and bitterness, that I massively underachieved, was so self destructive, wasted all my oppurtunities in work and relationships. I feel so down, it was tantalising how close I was to happiness, just after I passed the exams and got into the second year I was finally getting confident and happy, and could see a nice future for myself. Now it's all gone, could have been beautiful, but I'm back home, 25, with bugger all prospects, a crap CV, and unfulfilled life. I feel SO sad

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I just hate the bitter person I've become, I know it could have been good and that feeling haunts me all the time. My uni city was beautiful, and I'm an able person who, but for my troubles, really should have been progressing nicely. I feel disgusted with myself, and low. A loser, to put it in vulgar terms. I had problems with mood and obsessing and the like, and just got myself into spiralling negative states, probably worsened by having no company. If I stayed on the railsat that time,the psychogical difference wouldbe massive-ie, I'd feel happy with progress, indpedent, involved with people at uni, happy, fufilled, optimistic about the future. I hate that I KNOW I could be feeling all those things and experiencing life to the full rightnow, but it's all gone. Now I just feel humbled and a failure.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

It ****ing eats me up, knowing it was my fault, andI shouldn't have done this to my life. My parents try to keep me happy, but I can tell they know that every failure harmed me. It's a psychogical thing. I'm bitter as I'm living with what should have been and how I let myself down all the time

Reply 5

Tyler Durden

17

There's only one person who can help you. You're largely to blame for the position you are in (to be blunt)... but the good news is you can sort it out. You're 25, not 35 or 45, and probably still have a lot of time ahead of you. Be active and decide what you want from life. Make a plan and stick to it. Whether it's work or more education or whatever. And don't feel sorry for yourself, **** happens to everyone and you're a lot better off than you could be!

So get out of the house and sort something out. Your options are limitless for now - but the longer you mope about, the greater a slide your prospects will take.

Good luck!

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

I've been isolated, felt too much of a failure for a GF for ages, despite knowing that I've plenty going for me besides the academic thing. This is not some pointless post, I am genuine in my concern, I feel I can't live my life in this way. It seems so absurd I should be this miserable, I was never miserable as a kid or anything.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

englishstudent

There's only one person who can help you. You're largely to blame for the position you are in (to be blunt)... but the good news is you can sort it out. You're 25, not 35 or 45, and probably still have a lot of time ahead of you. Be active and decide what you want from life. Make a plan and stick to it. Whether it's work or more education or whatever. And don't feel sorry for yourself, **** happens to everyone and you're a lot better off than you could be!

So get out of the house and sort something out. Your options are limitless for now - but the longer you mope about, the greater a slide your prospects will take.

Good luck!

Cheers. Although, It's hard to feel like I'm well off, then when I compare what I could do to what I have. It's very hard to find routes into decent employment or education also. Limitless options? I hope so, thanks.

Reply 8

1013

1

Looking back will only drive you crazy. It's no way to live a life. You need to take charge from now on and start making some changes. If you're not happy with your qualifcations then go and get some more, either a new degree or higher learning course. I was depressed about not having been to uni when I was younger. Instead of wallowing in it, I applied and thought 'to hell with the fact that I'll be a bit older'. You just need to make some positive changes in your life. If you don't want to study, then concentrate on getting a good job. If your qualifications aren't good enough for what you want to do, then you'll just have to start a bit lower down the industry ladder. I'm sure you can do it if you put yor mind to it.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

1013

Looking back will only drive you crazy. It's no way to live a life. You need to take charge from now on and start making some changes. If you're not happy with your qualifcations then go and get some more, either a new degree or higher learning course. I was depressed about not having been to uni when I was younger. Instead of wallowing in it, I applied and thought 'to hell with the fact that I'll be a bit older'. You just need to make some positive changes in your life. If you don't want to study, then concentrate on getting a good job. If your qualifications aren't good enough for what you want to do, then you'll just have to start a bit lower down the industry ladder. I'm sure you can do it if you put yor mind to it.

Thanks for taking the time to consider my posts. Much appreciated. Thanks for the advice, and if anything else useful springs to mind, please let me know

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

I'd appreciate anyone elses help really. It's a real mental rut. No enthusiasm anymore

Reply 11

afire_insideme

6

u stop talking and act. intention and talking about something are useless unless they are followde up by actions. be brave in what u do and follow through with it.
good luck

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Really would appreciate more help from anyone who can offer an opinion

Reply 13

freshestkid

1

I think u need to put something in your life to make yourself feel better, ie be proactive about it. I was in a similar state when i was younger and found that once i got my **** together things started to improve.

For me that took the form of getting into weightlifting and stepping up my martial arts training. The successes and improvements i made in those areas bolstered my confidence in other areas, which really helped everything else out.
So in a roundabout way, maybe just start to do some form of exercise, preferably something that works your brain as well, and things'll start to gradually pick up over time. Stay tuff mate, and feel free to pm me if u wanna.

Good luck pal,

Danny

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

freshestkid

I think u need to put something in your life to make yourself feel better, ie be proactive about it. I was in a similar state when i was younger and found that once i got my **** together things started to improve.

For me that took the form of getting into weightlifting and stepping up my martial arts training. The successes and improvements i made in those areas bolstered my confidence in other areas, which really helped everything else out.
So in a roundabout way, maybe just start to do some form of exercise, preferably something that works your brain as well, and things'll start to gradually pick up over time. Stay tuff mate, and feel free to pm me if u wanna.

Good luck pal,

Danny

Thanks for the encouragement. Was it just a mentality change? Have your career and relationships got better?

Regret and bitterness

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