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    My friend just said this to me and to be completely honest I don't know what to think. On one hand, I'm really pissed off that a main reason for us being friends is the way I look (I'm a girl and he's a guy), and if I were ugly, he wouldn't have bothered to get to know me. I personally don't purposely choose my friends based on the way they look, it sounds extremely shallow and conceited.
    But on the other hand, I can't help wondering if I should just not care? Would many of us subconsciously prefer to be friends with a good looking person over an ugly one, given that you get along well with the person? It's impossible to be friends with everyone, so is it wrong to choose the ppl you want to get to know based on their attractiveness?
    Another of my really good friends who's super pretty said that she finds attractive ppl tend to be more confident and fun, which is why nearly all her friends are good looking. That sounds fair enough to me- but is it any different from saying "I won't be friends with ugly people?"
    Anyways....I really would like to hear some opinions on this...what would you think if your friend said that to you? Thanks for replies.
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    That depends: does he intend it as a strict imperative, or a mere statement-of-fact? Perhaps he meant, rather, 'I shan't be friends with ugly people'.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    what would you think if your friend said that to you?
    I would assume that Oxford had re-defined 'ugly' to be synonymous with 'attractive'.
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    No i think you should be friends with whoever you get on best with. If they happen to be attractive then so be it
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    I wouldn't be amused! I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who's so shallow.
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    I think looks do define a big part of one's personality so it should follow that one would get on better, on average, with people of the same level of attractiveness.
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    If any of my friends said that to me i would be shocked. I thinks it very shallow. You should be friends with people who you have a good time with and have things in common with regardless of their looks.
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    (Original post by littlemisssarah)
    If any of my friends said that to me i would be shocked. I thinks it very shallow. You should be friends with people who you have a good time with and have things in common with regardless of their looks.
    What if part of having a good time involves attracting guys or girls and this is easier to do if you're in a group of attractive people?

    (Just playing devil's advocate..)
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    lol if you feel comfatable with the people you with then surely it wouldnt matter,if you can only attract people when you with other attractive people then surely you need to work out some confidence issues?
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    (Original post by englishstudent)
    What if part of having a good time involves attracting guys or girls and this is easier to do if you're in a group of attractive people?

    (Just playing devil's advocate..)
    A very appropriate point...you could be pretty much screwed if you are decently attractive (albeit 'love is in the eye of beholder' bla bla), yet friends with people who are widely considered less/not so attractive. In fact, i'm in this boat, without wishing to appear as blowing my own trumpet..
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    (Original post by littlemisssarah)
    lol if you feel comfatable with the people you with then surely it wouldnt matter,if you can only attract people when you with other attractive people then surely you need to work out some confidence issues?
    Hmmm, during university i've lived with people widely regarded not so attractive, and they have generally lacked confidence in themselves, often i felt, because of this - and a lack of confidence in looks and generally not having much respect for oneself....they are not particularly endearing appeals. They also have a lot of hatred for the world, rejection issues and all - i don't have that much sympathy, as if you aren't happy with ones own looks, you surely do something about it?? I'm not saying all perceived 'ugly' are ugly as personalities BTW. I'm quite sure you get many 'good lookers' with wretched personalities...
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    I think i would take it as a compliment, what about his male friends?
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    In my experience, people do tend to hang around with people of the same level of attractiveness as them. It's the same as intelligence - highly intelligent people are less likely to befriend dumbasses, and so on.
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    Whitehairedwizard i can understand how you feel one of my closest friends is not that attractive and she has very low self esteem. mostly about her looks but other personal issues as well like things that have happened to her members of her family etc.

    doing something about her looks well i dontt think shes tried she could make her self a whole lot better doing something with her hair, makeup better clothes. anyway arent we going of track?
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    1013 yes mabye mostly people do hang around with people on the same level attractiveness as them but for me persoanly i dont base my friendship on looks. i have some friends who are oh so gorgeous and then others who are in the middle and some well there not the best looking. but im friends with these people as we share intrests common ground have a laugh with one another.
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    (Original post by littlemisssarah)
    Whitehairedwizard i can understand how you feel one of my closest friends is not that attractive and she has very low self esteem. mostly about her looks but other personal issues as well like things that have happened to her members of her family etc.

    doing something about her looks well i dontt think shes tried she could make her self a whole lot better doing something with her hair, makeup better clothes. anyway arent we going of track?
    No, i wouldn't say we are 'going off track', what i've said relates to the topic at hand. What i'm saying is, one should try to find people who are NICE as personalities, irrespective of looks and knocking looks discrimination on its head et cetera...
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    if that happened to me i wouldnt just stop being friends with them but i would be wary of them in the future. thats a really shallow thing to say! perhaps you should tell him your views on the situation and see what he says. i agree however that im less inclined to go over and talk to less attractive people, at first, but it doesnt stop me from eventually talking to them and getting to know them. i have a variety of friends; fat, thin, good looking, ugly, and i like them all it doesnt change them as a person. although i find more attractive people do get cockier as they expect everyone to like them and it just doesnt always happen.
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    i agree whitehairedwizard. thats what frienship should be based about. but what about a relationship? do looks come in to it then?
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    yes i agrre some people who know there gorgeous/popular can expect every one to like them.
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    (Original post by littlemisssarah)
    but what about a relationship? do looks come in to it then?
    Don't start this up again, you will have hundreds of people saying 'i dont care about looks, its all about personality', which is just how they wish they were.
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    I don't understand how you can be friends with someone "just" because they look good. I'm much more interested in what my mates have to say, than how good they make me look.

    OP your guy mate sounds like a ******. Your female mate who finds good looking people to be more confident and fun is freinds with them because they are confident and fun, not cos they are beautiful. The most beautiful people I know are incredibly self centred and have very low self esteem.

    You cannot base a relatioship soley on looks. It may be important to you in the beginning, as a "selling point" however you still have to talk to them, make decisions with and get on with generally. I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone I didn't get on with. Who here thinks people get married cos they find each other fit?
 
 
 
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