Confidence - How?

How does one seem confident? How does one get confident? Is it in the body language, the things you say or what you look like?

Basically i wana be much more confident to other girls but i dont know how i can give off this impression because i dont know how! HELP! :suitd:

Reply 1

freshestkid

1

You can only really give the impression of being confident by BEING confident, so do things that might make you feel more confident! In my experience, exercise in whatever form has an immense effect on confidence, as you feel fit, healthy, you have energy, you feel like you look good, and you got all them endorphins charging about inside you making you feel good as well. Also, being positive in your attitude to life (ie not constantly griping, instead trying to see the good in situations) won't do any harm.

Most of all, just enjoy yourself in whatever you do, although its not easy as all that, once you start it just gets easier :smile:

Reply 2

Flopifloor

Why don't you make a list of all your qualities and read it every morning or whenever you're depressed. I know it may sound a bit childish or stupid but it does help. Or ask a friend to do it for you...

Reply 3

strawberry

13

Give yourself a high self esteem problem. :wink:

Reply 4

puppy

Get really drunk, that always works.

Reply 5

Big Fat Mel

If you shout and swear at figures of authority, people will think you are fearless.
If you wear ridiculous clothes, people will assume you have the confidence to pull it off.
Try living a lie. If you are not a confindent person then there is nothing more rewarding than pretending you are to everyone else(!)
Seriously, why pretend to be something you are not? The first step towards confidence is being happy as you are.

Reply 6

Bunny Boiler

freshestkid

You can only really give the impression of being confident by BEING confident, so do things that might make you feel more confident!

I agree...this is true...

Unfortunately i don't feel confindent enough to be confident...

Reply 7

aurion

being confident is basically being happy with who you are and being comfortbable with yourself once you find that you should be fine.

Reply 8

dooby

1

I personally know I have no reason NOT to be confident, but I am just really self-conscious for some reason which makes me very shy. I have no reason to be shy! I just worry that people are going to think that what I say is stupid or irrelevant or whatever, so I don't have the confidence to be truly confident (lol confusin!) around people I don't know too well!! If that makes sense - lol! I've not always been liek this - it's only since I went from school to college, and found it really difficult to integrate with people because everybody was in fully formed 'friendship' groups from their previous schools and I was one of the only people from my school who went to the college, because we had a sixth form. I think it was shock to the system going from having a group of good, close friends at school, to not fitting in with anybody, and not really being accepted into already formed groups because they had no 'need' for anybody new, if you see what I mean. Wow I didn't mean to make this essay-length, sorry!! Want to make the most of uni in September - any tips?

Reply 9

Segat1

16

I just don't give a toss what anyone thinks of me. If they do, that is THEIR problem, not mine. Life is much to short to worry about what everyone else is thinking of you, and in reality they're probably just insecure.

Reply 10

Big Fat Mel

Segat1

I just don't give a toss what anyone thinks of me. If they do, that is THEIR problem, not mine. Life is much to short to worry about what everyone else is thinking of you, and in reality they're probably just insecure.

Indeed. Moreover, if you think that evryone is talking about you behind your back you may have a vanity, as opposed to confidence, issue. It is quite vain to assume that you are beiong talked about all the time. Moreover, shyness is a form of arrogance: you are not willing to expose yourself to anything or anyone that might demean you in some small way.

Reply 11

Galipote

Not necessarily. I'm always afraid that people won't be interesting in me, because I find myself boring. Mind you, it might very well be selfish ness; I suppose I don't want people tothink I'm boring...

Reply 12

username39618

1

Anonymous

How does one seem confident? How does one get confident? Is it in the body language, the things you say or what you look like?

Basically i wana be much more confident to other girls but i dont know how i can give off this impression because i dont know how! HELP! :suitd:

Aaah, the best way to appear confident is to pretend you are confident methinks

Reply 13

*Fliss*

Walk like you're the coolest person in the room.

Think about how confident friends of yours act, don't try to emulate them, just think about what makes them appear confident. Don't be afraid to say whatevers on your mind, even if it comes out and you sound stupid, have the ability to laugh at yourself. Can't think of anything else...this is rich coming from me who is fairly shy on occasion, but really...walking confidently does so much for other's perspective of you. And exercise - it'll refresh you and make you feel good.

Good luck chick x :smile:

Reply 14

quintsy

17

Is it in the body language?

Body language is a key part of confidence; but it more indicates how much confidence you have rather than gives you confidence.

If you wish to give the impression that you're a confident person, then targeting body language- i.e. by making your gestures more open etc, may be a good idea. But if you genuinely want to become confident then targeting body language will not do a great deal at all.

Have you got any hobbies or any talents? These can will you with a lot of confidence, especially if you refine the skills and take them to a higher level- i.e. if you enjoy music, then you could play in a band or orchestra.

If it doesn't come naturally; don't force it. Some people even prefer more shy people as it can be even more rewarding once you get to know them and gradually learn more about them. :smile:

Good luck!

Reply 15

dan1982

I find the only way to become more confident, is to over come the things that are causing the lack of confidence, aka your insecurities.

I had problems being confident, because i was self aware that i had bad teeth. I tried to overcome this by forgetting about it and not letting it get to me, but i couldnt. Even when most people never said anything (out of politeness mostly).

My body langauage was low, never looked up, had trouble making eye contact. I went a little further than most and had alot of dental work done (which was necessary, i wasnt just insecure for no reason)
The feeling inside was like none id ever had, because i was finally happy about how i looked, which most people will try and tell you isnt important (which it isnt in a perfect world, but this world is far from that)

My body langauage changed, i smiled, i looked people in the eye, i stood up straight.
It was great, mind i soon found something else to be self destructive about. I wonder if i will ever be truely perfectly confident.

Reply 16

halfoflessthan50p

12

Embarassing yourself usually helps. Small doses of humiliation will eventually get you to the point where youre not bothered what people think. So just speak your mind (even if it something stupid), do things on impulse, volunteer for all the embarassing children in need things at school and enter the talent competition every year. They're probably the kind of thing you wouldnt normally do, but it'll help because a big part of confidence is not being affraid of jugdement. And of course excercise will help because it'll improve your self-image

Confidence - How?

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