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Long distance relationships at uni, is it really worth it? Watch

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    #1

    Me and this girl were seeing each other for about 7 months (long distance), and had always talked about being in a relationship towards the end of seeing each other, yet I just held back from taking it any further because of uni and not knowing what I wanted. We're in a long distance relationship now and have been for about 3 months so it's still pretty fresh, we're going to uni's at different ends of the country with about a 6 hour train journey to each other. Lately we've been winding up more frequently now than ever when we lack communication. I've been through a lot with this girl, I currently see her quite regularly and she thinks of me as "the one", yet I don't really believe in that at this age.

    I just feel like neither of us will have the time or money to see each other, and is there really any point in that?

    I do love her, but won't push myself the whole way because I don't know what's going to happen at uni, probably down to my past being messed around before.

    Any help?
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    No, I don't think there is.

    I am not qualified to say that you are not 'the one' for her like she says you are, but being 'the one' also means that its meant to be, and by extension, that no matter what you go through eventually, when your circumstances allow then it will all come together. If you waited until you were both finished uni, if you truly were 'the one' then you still will be.

    I still think you should be sceptical about this claim, and if I were you I'd just enjoy being single. Better to make a clean break than having one girl affect all your relationships with girls throughout university.
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    I think you should give it a go. If it doesn't work out, at least you tried. You will probably regret not trying otherwise.

    Just try to give her enough attention - i.e text her enough so she doesn't feel forgotten/unloved. Make the effort

    Good luck
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    I'm a seven hour train journey away from my boyfriend during term time and we're making it work. As for whether it's worth it, it depends upon how much you love the girl in question, For me, my relationship is 100% worth it.
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    I think they can, if you're both committed and sure ... Which it sounds like she is, but you aren't.
    Think about it, are you willing to give up weekends and save to meet her, make time to Skype and phone her? If you think you could easily move on without her, forget it. If the thought of not talking to her is upsetting and unimaginable, pursue it.
    You can't have a casual long distance relationship really.
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    (Original post by theguv92)
    No, I don't think there is.

    I am not qualified to say that you are not 'the one' for her like she says you are, but being 'the one' also means that its meant to be, and by extension, that no matter what you go through eventually, when your circumstances allow then it will all come together. If you waited until you were both finished uni, if you truly were 'the one' then you still will be.

    I still think you should be sceptical about this claim, and if I were you I'd just enjoy being single. Better to make a clean break than having one girl affect all your relationships with girls throughout university.
    I think people use 'the one' to mean the one I could end up with, but I'm not sure all that many people think of it as sticking to their partner through ANYTHING ... Plenty of married people would divorce over cheating, and obviously they must have thought their spouse was 'the one' when they married.
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    Answer this:

    Will you regret it more if a) You feel inhibited during freshers/ your time at university because you have a girlfriend or b) Not making an effort with a girl you say you love?

    Once you've answered that, you'll know if it's really worth it or not.
    • #2
    #2

    I got with my boyfriend about a month before he went to a uni that's a 6 hour train/bus journey away. At first we weren't really sure where things were going but we did feel pretty intensely about each other, so we just thought we'd see how things went. Still together 2 years later, although going through a rocky patch because of a change in both our circumstances.

    Basically, you don't know how things will turn out; it might last 2 weeks, a few years or the rest of your lives. It won't be easy, you both have to make an effort to see each other and make the most of it when you do spend time together. Talk about how you're both feeling. Don't let things simmer because they will erupt later, usually about 2 days before you're due to see each other.

    Don't worry about the practicalities at this point. If she's worth it, and she thinks you're worth it, you'll make it work. If she's not, or she's not as committed as you, it'll soon become apparent.
 
 
 
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