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What does "keep it slow" mean? watch

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    I'm a straight male, 20 years old; I met up with a female friend yesterday. I like her and we're friends. I sent her a drunk message last Saturday admitting that I liked her and that I wanted to ask her out. She said to meet up with her yesterday and have "that conversation".

    Anyway, we had the conversation and the end result was that we'd give it a shot (which I was chuffed with) but that we would keep it slow as we don't want to rush into anything and ruin either the potential relationship or the friendship (her idea, I agree with in honesty). I've never been in a relationship before and have had very few "things" with girls in the past, all of which have only been one-nighters and then friends after.

    After she left (she was at mine) we hugged to say bye. We met up in the evening and did the same. I feel difficult to ask her but I can't make heads or tails of it. I'm not exactly expecting a full-on snog but how long am I supposed to be waiting before any contact like that? If that's if we're "going out", that is.

    Part of me wants to ask her about this but to me it seems a totally stupid idea, and also extremely pushy. On the other hand, is it seen a rushing things to ask her out on an actual date (e.g. dinner)?

    Thank you
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    You should talk to her, but do it properly. Just ask what she means exactly by going slow.
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    Well if you're "going for it" as you say the. A date doesn't sound too out of the question. At which point a kiss on the cheek may become an acceptable goodbye as that is slow. Or depending on how the date goes *shrug* but expecting her to 'snog' you out of the gate seems a bit immature.


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    I think this is a common thing to say at 'seeing someone' as opposed to 'going out' stage. It means one or both people are still weighing things up. I would say after a couple of dates, if you have had fun, things easily progress to kissing, and the rest. But occasionally one may be blown out after one or two dates. Just my experience..
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    She doesn't sound particularly interested tbh. Sounds like she is hedging her bets incase someone better comes along. You probably scared her off by being too full on, you need to rein it in.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a straight male, 20 years old; I met up with a female friend yesterday. I like her and we're friends. I sent her a drunk message last Saturday admitting that I liked her and that I wanted to ask her out. She said to meet up with her yesterday and have "that conversation".Anyway, we had the conversation and the end result was that we'd give it a shot (which I was chuffed with) but that we would keep it slow as we don't want to rush into anything and ruin either the potential relationship or the friendship (her idea, I agree with in honesty). I've never been in a relationship before and have had very few "things" with girls in the past, all of which have only been one-nighters and then friends after.After she left (she was at mine) we hugged to say bye. We met up in the evening and did the same. I feel difficult to ask her but I can't make heads or tails of it. I'm not exactly expecting a full-on snog but how long am I supposed to be waiting before any contact like that? If that's if we're "going out", that is.Part of me wants to ask her about this but to me it seems a totally stupid idea, and also extremely pushy. On the other hand, is it seen a rushing things to ask her out on an actual date (e.g. dinner)?Thank you
    I know you like her, but keep your options open, keep meeting new women, it will help clear your mind and if things dont work out you wont be so beat up about it.
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    Rule #1: Never ask ~ if the two of you are "giving it a shot" then you don't have to ask anyway, just make a suggestion

    Re: kissing, start kissing her cheek/jaw/neck when you're hugging, she'll be like putty in your hands before you know it. Simples.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)

    Re: kissing, start kissing her cheek/jaw/neck when you're hugging, she'll be like putty in your hands before you know it. Simples.
    .... Or filing for a restraining order!
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    (Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
    .... Or filing for a restraining order!
    Mate, they're going out and he's a sweet guy, cutesy escalation is perfectly legit
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    So it'd be ok to ask her out? She sent me a text saying she was looking forward to spending more time together, so I can only assume that's a positive? It's probably me, I quite like labels on things
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So it'd be ok to ask her out? She sent me a text saying she was looking forward to spending more time together, so I can only assume that's a positive? It's probably me, I quite like labels on things
    Actually yeah that sounds like a good thing - she wants to take things slightly more forward, so I'd say go for it!

    But do remember not be full-on (unless it's blatantly obvious that she wants it like that) and just be natural, have fun etc.

    Let us know how it turns out.
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    I think you should totally take her out to a romantic dinner, then give her a kiss when you take her home


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    Just be a gentleman as every female likes one of those ;-) take her for a date to somewhere nice dont do a eating date if you eat like a gremlin lmao but think of somewhere really nice or something you can do together to bond.

    Take it slow as guys who rush things are a mega turn off for most females.
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    Make sure you are on the same page as her. If you don't know her definition of slow, ask her to clarify, rather than guessing. Take her on dates, and go through the stages. For example, the fist date is a kiss etc. I have no idea how this works cos I've never been on a date lol. Hope it turns out okay.
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    (Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
    .... Or filing for a restraining order!
    Do you have a phobia of relationships or just something else equally as irrational?
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    (Original post by CJKay)
    Do you have a phobia of relationships or just something else equally as irrational?
    No I am in one. It's just in my experience (or if it were me) the girl saying "okay we can go out but let's take it slow" either means "yes I like you a bit but you're way too full on and need to step back" or "I like you a bit but don't want to fully commit incase something better comes along".
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    (Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
    No I am in one. It's just in my experience (or if it were me) the girl saying "okay we can go out but let's take it slow" either means "yes I like you a bit but you're way too full on and need to step back" or "I like you a bit but don't want to fully commit incase something better comes along".
    You must have gone out with a lot of girls.
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    (Original post by CJKay)
    You must have gone out with a lot of girls.
    What? I think being a girl, having girlfriends and having countless lengthy discussions about our love lives provides me with enough information about what girls say and what they mean. Just because someone dates a lot of girls it doesn't mean they know what they actually mean when they say certain things. Not sure what your problem is with what I said.
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    (Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
    What? I think being a girl, having girlfriends and having countless lengthy discussions about our love lives provides me with enough information about what girls say and what they mean. Just because someone dates a lot of girls it doesn't mean they know what they actually mean when they say certain things. Not sure what your problem is with what I said.
    Well, this, primarily:

    (Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
    .... Or filing for a restraining order!
    Sounds like the stupid feminist rhetoric going on about how all men are rapists. What, exactly, is wrong with getting a little more touchy-feely?
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    (Original post by CJKay)
    Well, this, primarily:



    Sounds like the stupid feminist rhetoric going on about how all men are rapists. What, exactly, is wrong with getting a little more touchy-feely?
    Bloody hell I make one joke and I get lynched for being a psycho-feminist. I just meant, by the definition of "let's go slow" she probably wouldn't like the guy slobbering all over her on their first date.
 
 
 
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