Okay now before I get into the story, I know I've basically dug my own grave. I'm not looking for sympathy or criticism. I'm merely posting this to see if anyone has been in a similar situation and want to know how they dealt with it.
Right, I live in a foreign country right now, and will be doing so until September 2014. I broke the cardinal rule by sleeping with the male housemate who arrived in June. A mixture of being bored and sheer need for some human attention (where I live, it's impossible to find a guy, not just due to looks, but I live in a city of 2 million people where less than 20 are English speakers and the locals don't generally have the best English... but I am here because I am a teacher at a Private school). This has gone no further than sex, he's not interested in a relationship and neither am I. So, because we sleep together it worries our housemates and management (they know, don't care as long as it doesn't diminish the work place) because of the guy having more of a chance of meeting a woman here than me (people here prefer white males, so it's pick of the litter really) they think it will ruin our friendship.
I am not a robot when it comes to sex, I try to be and unfortunately I have developed an emotional attachment to this guy, but not love, because aside from the fact that the sex is great he isn't my type in a boyfriend. He criticizes me a fair amount, but he's honest, he has said exactly what he wants from the start and I have no intention of changing him.
Anyway, so low and behold, he has met a girl last week, and tonight wanted to bring her back to the house... my room is next to his. However I was up with another girl watching TV and he'd have to walk past the two of us with the girl to get to his room on the next floor. He was texting me to ask me to wish him good luck and that i needed to tell him when our other housemate had gone to bed so he could bring her up. It was then that my stomach became knotted and I had to fess up to the other girl we're living with... she said what he wanted to do was callus and brutal.. and that this was what they were worried about because I asked her not to leave... I thought he'd still bring her up so I could have the emotional support whilst he was doing his thing.
He hasn't been horrible, he's been nice to me and everything which is good as he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to become dickish about things. But because we were up so late he gave up and the girl went home instead. Now, I feel bad, because part of me is glad that she didn't stay. Which is wrong, he is his own person and he's a single guy he can do what he likes. The weird thing is that he still wants to sleep with me, as well as her, and even pitched the idea of a threesome as he'd like another person to play with. He's a guy who doesn't want a girlfriend, he has lovers all over the world where ever he's been... so he sounds like an arse, but he's not, and I really enjoy spending time with him as a friend and as a sexual partner.
So this whole essay is to just ask if anyone has been in a situation where they've slept with a housemate and had to deal with them bringing back other people... how did you overcome it and what are some good things to try and do?
However he's an extra insight:
- I can't move, I'm in the same house until Sept 2014 and he's here until June 2014.
- We work from 12pm until 9pm so things are closed afterwards and it's hard to go out on the weekends.
- We live and work together.
- He's not a bad person, not at all, he's honest and says it like it is.. he's very good with words and knows exactly what to say. I don't want to feel this way towards him so have nothing against him.
I don't want my fear of being pushed aside for another piece of ass to get in the way of our friendship.. I also can't hide away from it and act like it's okay. So I guess that's why I'm asking... also guess I'm trying to vent.
Slept with housemate. Watch
- Thread Starter
- 16-08-2013 20:53
- Thread Starter
- 17-08-2013 03:35
- 17-08-2013 14:00
Stop sleeping with him. Now. You've developed an attachment that is only going to deepen and cause problems.
- 17-08-2013 22:11
I don't think sleeping with him again is a good idea. You've developed an emotional attachment to this guy who seems to be only interested in sex (and not just with you). Save yourself the heartache and just work on your friendship.