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I can't do anything these days without first asking someone what they think Watch

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    I was wondering how I get past that. I'm really concerned what everyone thinks from my sister to my mates to my boss to my mum to the doctor. Like really concerned.

    If I don't get some form of approval from them then I resort so strangers such as on TSR

    This isn't healthy and it makes me feel really anxious and a bit depressed. It's grown increasingly worse. It's especially prevalent with food and exercise but it is in everything. For example I started having green tea about a year ago but even now if my mum asks if I want a cup of tea (Earl Grey) I'll sometimes want to say No but worry that she'll be unhappy so say Yes anyway

    I think For example:

    -I might be wanting to go to the gym but I can't, because I have a history of disordered eating/anxiety around food/exercise/body image. I then get ashamed of being skinny and think I need to gain weight (which I could afford to but maybe don't need to)

    For example I started having green tea about a year ago but even now if my mum asks if I want a cup of tea (Earl Grey) I'll sometimes want to say No but worry that she'll be unhappy so say Yes anyway

    -I'm not fussed on having a fizzy drink today but I was obsessed about being healthy so I'll make myself have it-sometimes enjoy it and sometimes not

    -I don't want to drink because it spikes my anxiety, but I can't because it's the cultural norm in uni, so I get pissed
    -I don't handle late nights very well, so I want to go to bed early but a 'friend' might ask me out somewhere and I feel obliged to go
    -I want to play a videogame but I should be doing something more productive with my life, so I don't and haven't for just over a year

    -I'll be about to make a joke but I don't because it'd be **** anyway

    -I'm enjoying a book but lots of people don't read these days, and then I feel like a right **** for doing it

    The worst example of this was when I started flunking second year because I worried that everyone thought I was pretentious for doing an Arts degree (I'm a bit of a 'culture vulture' :P)
    I had a lot of books to read for English but I felt like I was a bit of a snob who was getting sheltered from the real world with a nice cosy book so I just stopped reading them

    -My most recent is I was considering taking protein shakes to help build some mass (along with balanced diet and exercise of course) but wasn't sure whether I was 'allowed' so asked the doctor (who neither approved of nor forbade it)

    The end result is I often do nothing and just come on the computer to either watch what everyone else is doing, or seek reassurance.
    I don't think this is healthy or even normal but it's become habitual for me as I question the merits/ethics of my values and lifestyle choices. It makes me feel powerless over my decisions in life and humiliated.

    Any advice?
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    It sounds like quite a complicated issue you've been facing, maybe even too complicated for a forum such as this. But I'll try and help nevertheless.

    You've identified your problem, which is good, that you worry too much about what other people think.

    I thought I'd direct you to some useful information, rather than trying to act like a psychiatrist.


    Google is really useful. Just from putting "worry about what other people think" into it, I came up with these:

    http://www.wikihow.com/Not-Care-What-People-Think
    http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/...-people-think/
    http://www.theartofadd.com/2012/11/0...-about-others/

    Also something you might want to look into is how to increase your self confidence. If you were more confident in yourself, in your body and who you are, you would be able to do things for yourself. Youtube's another great resource, there are some great TED talks on there about confidence by some really inspiring people.


    I urge you to just get stuck into some research, and make today the first day of the new you. Today you're going to make one change, you're going to say no thank you to your mum when she asks you if you'd like a cup of tea :P and taking that first step may be the hardest, but after that things will get easier.

    And if you're lacking motivation and just resorting to playing video games all day? Chuck your games console out the window (or dispose of it in a more civilised way, sell it or give it away). Take away the easy option. You can't waste the rest of your life playing video games if you don't have a video games console. Simple. And as I said, make today the day you change. Make today the first day of the rest of your life (sounds cheesy I know) but just grab your life by the horns and go for it.
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    (Original post by Revilo118)
    It sounds like quite a complicated issue you've been facing, maybe even too complicated for a forum such as this. But I'll try and help nevertheless.
    Thanks mate, I'll give these a look
 
 
 
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