Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Would you be okay if your boyfriend or girlfriend had a lot of guy/girls friends? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I am dealing with my boyfriend having A LOT of female friends and it is starting to get to me know

    Would you guys care or would it not bother you? Be honest
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    My (ex)girlfriend had real issues that I had a lot of female friends and it annoyed me greatly that it annoyed her. I have never cheated in any relationship ever and I can't stand control/paranoia etc - just trust them.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by supernature)
    I am dealing with my boyfriend having A LOT of female friends and it is starting to get to me know

    Would you guys care or would it not bother you? Be honest
    I know it's cliched a bit, but guys and girls *can* just be friends... Sure, some can't, and people might post up videos of students being interviewed about it, but at the end of the day, it is possible to be "just friends", and nothing more.

    Personally, most (>80%) of my friends are female. It's totally OK to be nervous about this, especially if it's getting to you, but if they genuinely are "just friends", then it would be like him asking you to stop hanging around with your (female) friends... As at least for me, I don't see female friends differently at all to male ones.

    Have you met any of them before? Maybe that would help?

    Some guys cheat, but from all my female friends' stories, it's the "hidden" female friends that are more of a concern - if he's open about having his female friends, then he's making you aware... It's if they are "hidden" that it's usually more of a worry.
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by supernature)
    I am dealing with my boyfriend having A LOT of female friends and it is starting to get to me know

    Would you guys care or would it not bother you? Be honest
    Being honest... this would annoy me yeah (I'm a girl)
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    No, not that i wouldnt trust my girlfriend, its just that 9/10 times a guy cant just be friends with a girl who is moderately attractive.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Strath)
    I know it's cliched a bit, but guys and girls *can* just be friends... Sure, some can't, and people might post up videos of students being interviewed about it, but at the end of the day, it is possible to be "just friends", and nothing more.

    Personally, most (>80%) of my friends are female. It's totally OK to be nervous about this, especially if it's getting to you, but if they genuinely are "just friends", then it would be like him asking you to stop hanging around with your (female) friends... As at least for me, I don't see female friends differently at all to male ones.

    Have you met any of them before? Maybe that would help?

    Some guys cheat, but from all my female friends' stories, it's the "hidden" female friends that are more of a concern - if he's open about having his female friends, then he's making you aware... It's if they are "hidden" that it's usually more of a worry.
    I have seen a few of them, he's just generally a very flirty guy so that doesn't help. But on Facebook, they are quite a few photos of him with other girls, they aren't bad but it just pisses me off. Guess i'm the jealous type
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I wouldn't mind at all, because I only have a few girl friends because I just seem to get on with guys better, so my friends consist of mainly guys.

    So if I had a boyfriend that had a lot of girl friends, I wouldn't mind. It's not like he's going to cheat or anything. Just trust the guy, and hopefully everything will work out!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by supernature)
    I have seen a few of them, he's just generally a very flirty guy so that doesn't help. But on Facebook, they are quite a few photos of him with other girls, they aren't bad but it just pisses me off. Guess i'm the jealous type
    My best friend is probably more flirty (you wouldn't believe it unless you knew her!), it's just her way. I'm used to it, don't even notice it now.

    If it makes you feel jealous, perhaps you wish he spent more time with you? Or something similar? Jealousy usually stems from a lack of something. Get more of it and the relationship should be better for you both. Maybe you are wishing to spend more time or go out more often, making you jealous if he goes out with his friends?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Strath)
    My best friend is probably more flirty (you wouldn't believe it unless you knew her!), it's just her way. I'm used to it, don't even notice it now.

    If it makes you feel jealous, perhaps you wish he spent more time with you? Or something similar? Jealousy usually stems from a lack of something. Get more of it and the relationship should be better for you both. Maybe you are wishing to spend more time or go out more often, making you jealous if he goes out with his friends?
    Thank you for your advice, makes a lot of sense. I suppose a part of it may be due to the fact that we don't spend that much time together, I hope to change that soon
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    My boyfriend has plenty of female friends. Some of them are TOO friendly and ask far to menu questions about us and how serious we are and if we are going to last etc. I was uncomfortable with those kind of friends. They wouldn't talk to me just to him. I didn't like it and I let him know. He felt the same. As if they were jealous or something, like they were snooting around our relationship and he stopped talking to them. I never asked him to stop talking to them I told him I didn't like how they spoke about our relationship. We have been together a long time and we are living together. I don't understand why some girls feel the need to get all nosey about if we are going last or not. We have no issues about lasting. He still has girl friends and it doesn't bother me
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Nope!! Would not have a problem with that as long as they weren't getting too friendly and knew where they stood


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Only an issue if any of them are hotter than you and clearly keen on him and/or he gives you a solid reason to think he may fool around :beard:

    My ex's friends were mostly male but all boys compared with me, literally, and I'm a composed person/good judge of character, so it phased me not
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by supernature)
    Thank you for your advice, makes a lot of sense. I suppose a part of it may be due to the fact that we don't spend that much time together, I hope to change that soon
    No worries. Yup I could tell from what you wrote that there was something on your mind that you wanted to resolve, and a little bit of intuition told me it would be that I guess it's the perk of being relationship advisor for all your female friends That sounds good, get more time together, and see how it goes.

    (Original post by Liivayyyyy)
    My boyfriend has plenty of female friends. Some of them are TOO friendly and ask far to menu questions about us and how serious we are and if we are going to last etc. I was uncomfortable with those kind of friends. They wouldn't talk to me just to him. I didn't like it and I let him know. He felt the same. As if they were jealous or something, like they were snooting around our relationship and he stopped talking to them. I never asked him to stop talking to them I told him I didn't like how they spoke about our relationship. We have been together a long time and we are living together. I don't understand why some girls feel the need to get all nosey about if we are going last or not. We have no issues about lasting. He still has girl friends and it doesn't bother me
    Girls (and guys too!) can sometimes have a habit to just like to enquire about relationships, as from my experience they like to know the gossip of who is with whom, how it's going etc. I'd not immediately put that down to bad intentions, personally. Sure, there are some who might want to get in there, but it won't be all of them, I'm sure! If he did that though, it solves the issue from your perspective anyway.
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    I'd be a hypocrite if I said it wasn't ok; as most of my friends are male.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I have a similar problem, but just keep it cool, just don't become one of those bossy gf, if you love him, trust him.
    Has he ever cheated on you yo make you feel uneasy ??

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    I wouldn't be happy about it if I'm honest, but there's really not much you can do ...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Only an issue if any of them are hotter than you and clearly keen on him and/or he gives you a solid reason to think he may fool around :beard:

    My ex's friends were mostly male but all boys compared with me, literally, and I'm a composed person/good judge of character, so it phased me not
    No offence, but you come across as a right tit in this post. I suggest you grow up.

    EDIT: Just looked at this guys posting history. Tit status confirmed.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    99% of my friends are guys and my boyfriend never seems to have been bothered by it. They're all totally platonic and I know it would annoy me if someone implied otherwise and started getting controlling over it, so for that reason I would never become that person to someone else. As long as they're just friends and your boyfriend hasn't given you any reason not to trust him, I don't see a problem with it.

    Although it would start being a problem if he flirted with them and they were quite obviously crossing the friendship line. I wouldn't outright tell him to ditch his friends in that scenario, but I would bring it up.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    OP, if it's too much for you just make a clean break. He is allowed to have friends but you don't have to put up with being his partner if realistically it adds too much stress/sucks the fun out of the relationship. Everyone is different after all and you can't be blamed for not being entirely comfortable with it, even if he is legit, because too many guys and girls aren't and you can't know yourself for sure who is and who isn't.

    Best of luck.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    i dont have a real issue and even if i did there is no way id have as little respect for my partner as to say "i dont like you having male friends"

    My gf has an issue with one friend of mine, shes very attractive and we are quite huggy for the camera posing and making faces etc etc. But she knows id never do anything against her
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 22, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.