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Anyone else fed up of being harassed to try anal sex? Watch

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    For a while now my boyfriend has being asking me to try anal sex with him, something that he also has never done but has repeatedly said is his ultimate fantasy. I really don't feel comfortable (personally) with the idea of anal for many reasons, while I accept that many people practice and enjoy it. Although I've made it very clear to my boyfriend that I don't want to do it, he continually hints that we should try it and while this is often done in a lighthearted way it gets me down because I feel like I'm not enough for him without it. What's even worse is that all his friends know how much he wants to do it and have even baited me about it when they're drunk, making me feel ganged-up against. Has anyone else felt similarly pressured to try anal (or anything else sexual) when they really don't want to, just to stop the pestering? This issue is really getting me down, especially because we generally have a really strong relationship and I feel like his obsession could end up splitting us up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For a while now my boyfriend has being asking me to try anal sex with him, something that he also has never done but has repeatedly said is his ultimate fantasy. I really don't feel comfortable (personally) with the idea of anal for many reasons, while I accept that many people practice and enjoy it. Although I've made it very clear to my boyfriend that I don't want to do it, he continually hints that we should try it and while this is often done in a lighthearted way it gets me down because I feel like I'm not enough for him without it. What's even worse is that all his friends know how much he wants to do it and have even baited me about it when they're drunk, making me feel ganged-up against. Has anyone else felt similarly pressured to try anal (or anything else sexual) when they really don't want to, just to stop the pestering? This issue is really getting me down, especially because we generally have a really strong relationship and I feel like his obsession could end up splitting us up.
    Haven't come across this issue. I think I would find it difficult to go for this if a girlfrind wanted it, even though I would want to be an adventurous lover. Also hard for me to understand it being the ultimate fantasy. Have you had a really serious chat where you tell him this is getting to you and you want the hints to stop?
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    In his defence, it is pretty good.


    Edit: On a more serious note, you might be being unreasonable with yourself. Why are you hostile to it? Maybe your reasons are not particularly good.
    If you think it over rationally and still come to the conclusion that you don't want to, then I suggest telling him that you want him to do something he doesn't like, since that's your sexual fantasy. You'll either end the arguing, or you'll have an interesting trade, but either way that would stop him going on about anal.
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    Haven't come across this issue. I think I would find it difficult to go for this if a girlfrind wanted it, even though I would want to be an adventurous lover. Also hard for me to understand it being the ultimate fantasy. Have you had a really serious chat where you tell him this is getting to you and you want the hints to stop?
    Yeah I have but he says he has the "right" to carry on asking as I might change my mind at some point. I'm sure I won't though - I can admittedly be indecisive about a lot of things but this is something I feel very strongly about! I just wish he would accept and respect my feelings on this...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For a while now my boyfriend has being asking me to try anal sex with him, something that he also has never done but has repeatedly said is his ultimate fantasy. I really don't feel comfortable (personally) with the idea of anal for many reasons, while I accept that many people practice and enjoy it. Although I've made it very clear to my boyfriend that I don't want to do it, he continually hints that we should try it and while this is often done in a lighthearted way it gets me down because I feel like I'm not enough for him without it. What's even worse is that all his friends know how much he wants to do it and have even baited me about it when they're drunk, making me feel ganged-up against. Has anyone else felt similarly pressured to try anal (or anything else sexual) when they really don't want to, just to stop the pestering? This issue is really getting me down, especially because we generally have a really strong relationship and I feel like his obsession could end up splitting us up.
    Tell him if you can put a dildo up his ass then he can put his penis up yours.
    Bet he won't be so keen anymore.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Tell him if you can put a dildo up his ass then he can put his penis up yours.
    Bet he won't be so keen anymore.
    This.
    And if you tell him that last sentence, he might realise how serious you are abut it.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Tell him if you can put a dildo up his ass then he can put his penis up yours.
    Bet he won't be so keen anymore.
    yeah, but what if he's up for it?
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    yeah, but what if he's up for it?
    Most boys probably wouldn't want their GF to do that to them lol. Well the ones I know anyway.

    Idk just laugh and say you were joking.
    • #2
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    I've been with two guys that were literally obsessed with anal! Like you, it's not something I want to do at all. One guy even gave me an ultimatum, which was part of the reason why I split up with him.

    The other guy sounds a lot like your boyfriend, ie he had never tried it but it was his ultimate sexual fantasy. He never put any pressure on me though or discussed it with his friends :eek: That's really out of order IMO, he's basically prioritising one sexual act that he's never even experienced above your feelings. It sounds like he doesn't have much respect for you tbh. Is he selfish in other ways too? If so I'd get rid.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Tell him if you can put a dildo up his ass then he can put his penis up yours.
    Bet he won't be so keen anymore.
    Not surprised the most beta white knight statement here comes from a guy :rolleyes:.

    If my girlfriend ever said that she would know exactly what would happen next: the door will be open and she will be shown the direction to it.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    In his defence, it is pretty good.


    Edit: On a more serious note, you might be being unreasonable with yourself. Why are you hostile to it? Maybe your reasons are not particularly good.
    If you think it over rationally and still come to the conclusion that you don't want to, then I suggest telling him that you want him to do something he doesn't like, since that's your sexual fantasy. You'll either end the arguing, or you'll have an interesting trade, but either way that would stop him going on about anal.
    She's not being unreasonable; if she doesn't want to try something sexually the fact she doesn't want to do it is a 'good' enough reason, since it's her body. The fact he is trying pressure her into doing it, and the fact his mates "bait" her while drunk suggests he clearly isn't respecting her 'no'. I second what someone else has said - give him a taste of his own medicine. Say you want a strap on and do him up the ass with it, see how he responds. (awkward if he says yes, but take the risk)
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    (Original post by Ultimate1)
    Not surprised the most beta white knight statement here comes from a guy :rolleyes:.

    If my girlfriend ever said that she would know exactly what would happen next: the door will be open and she will be shown the direction to it.
    oh, I've seen you making "white knight" statements before when guys are being nice and actually respecting women, not sure you'd know much about that though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's really out of order IMO, he's basically prioritising one sexual act that he's never even experienced above your feelings.
    You're not allowed to want to do something different from your partner? :confused:

    (Original post by vaguity)
    She's not being unreasonable; if she doesn't want to try something sexually the fact she doesn't want to do it is a 'good' enough reason, since it's her body. The fact he is trying pressure her into doing it, and the fact his mates "bait" her while drunk suggests he clearly isn't respecting her 'no'. I second what someone else has said - give him a taste of his own medicine. Say you want a strap on and do him up the ass with it, see how he responds. (awkward if he says yes, but take the risk)
    "I second what someone else said" I said exactly that: "I suggest telling him you want to do something he doesn't like"

    "the fact she doesn't want to do it is a good enough reason" No, it isn't. Wanting or not wanting something does not justify wanting/not wanting that something. Circular logic is circular.
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    I suggest you tell this guy that if he (and his mates) don't shut up about this you'll leave him. This is really awful behaviour. You have the right to say no for any reason.
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    Isn't it like a reverse poo?
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    Each person has different sexual preferences which can vary massively as to how important they are. If your boyfriend genuinely feels strongly about anal sex and feels unfulfilled without it, the two of you may be sexually incompatible. Then again, it might just be something he wants to try and is being a bit of a **** about it. Him trying to pressure or guilt you into doing it is not a good thing. What you need to to is sit down and make it clear to your boyfriend that you will not have anal sex with him, and that he will have to decide whether he can be in a relationship that will not satisfy him fully (if that's how he feels; he may not consider it that big a deal). What people need to realise is that breaking up with someone over sexual dissatisfaction is not pathetic or shallow. Having a healthy sex life is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and if that can't happen, it can have a massive impact on the nature of the relationship.



    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Tell him if you can put a dildo up his ass then he can put his penis up yours.
    Bet he won't be so keen anymore.
    I'm guessing this is meant as a joke, but I've seen it said many times and it's such a dumb thing to say. If a girl doesn't feel comfortable giving a blowjob, would you recommend she buy a strapon and say to her boyfriend "only if you give me one first xDD". No, that's stupid. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. Don't demand some ridiculous tradeoff which wouldn't even benefit you.
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    (Original post by hajinator)
    Isn't it like a reverse poo?
    No, it isn't.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    No, it isn't.
    Ok
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    Well a lot of people freak out because they hear this that and the other, mostly glorified (or rather horrible) stories of bad scenarios during anal but to be honest 99.999999% of the time there is never a problem. Truth be told for guys it does feel considerably better and even some girls, who first were scared of it, love it so its quite common for a guy to want to try it. My last girlfriend let me try it with her and it was incredible for me but she wasn't so keen - thats fair enough I never pushed her again as we she wasn't keen on it.

    Have you considered just trying it once on the complete understanding that if you don't like it that one time then you don't want him to mention it again? (Side potential benefit is you both love it and your sex life suddenly has a lot more variety!)
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    (Original post by rattusratus)
    just tell him you dont want to risk piles, prolapse or incontinence which can all occur from anal (very, very few people really wants to date a girl that constantly ****s herself)anal can be very dangerous its not something the body is designed to do, just show him these:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtWF0RPv0EYhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPkJhHZXLUwthe above two are just examples, just Google anal sex risks there are thousands more like thesealso point out there is a good chance he could get E.coli or an infection (such as bladder or kidney) from microscopic fecal bacteria which can cause sepsis
    I loled hard, are you trying to troll? Use rubber and lube, but yeah OP if you don't want to do it you shouldn't be doing it, its pretty bad of your BF not to respect your wish. I tried it once.. not really into it.
 
 
 
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