Need help on my Student Council Speech PLease? Running for Grade 11 Reps

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mianguyen
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#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
So here's what i've got so far, I have a feeling that it's too long but i'm really not sure. Could you guys proofread and give me words of advises? Thank yoU!!

I'm actually pretty embarrassed, I was on my way to school and I realized I had forgotten to write a speech, so like any other normal kid, I payed a guy on the street $15 dollars to write one for me, so lets see how it goes.

Hello, My name is (name) I believe that you all would love me as your grade reps, because I will bring us much joy, Whatever that is. I'll make you as happy as Santa Claus not having to climb through unsanitary chimneys every Christmas's eve.

You may be wondering why I’m running for senates and the reason is because, I had a dream. In this dream, I met a giant talking Gummy Bear, and he looked deeply in my eyes, pondering into my soul and whispering his words of wisdom, “Run for the senate”. And so, I’m standing here today, hoping that you can help me to achieve Mr. Bear’s will.

Anyway, last year, members of the Senates have done an awesome job in making the school a cooler place for all of us, organising prom, HS days, Christmas, movie nights, spirit weeks. However, I think that it’s time the Senate, or YOU, the student body, needs some refreshment – new faces are to come and blow the wind of freshness into our High school lives. As some of you might have known, I’ve only been here for a year. A year, which gave me enough time to observe and be a part of our community, yet come out for bringing new energy and ideas to the Senate, and to you all, Grade 11.

Although I haven’t proved myself to be super active yet, I’m not exactly lack of experience. Being the president of the Student Council for 2 years in my previous school had helped me to gain experiences in taking leadership, organizing Dance Parties/Prom and other social events for students. So far, some of my draft ideas including Food Fights, Waterpaint Balloon days, more dance parties -probably with more economical prices. However, as our Business teacher once said “nothing is Free”, therefore it’s to my limit that I cannot share with you more ideas after the Election has taken place.

So guys, put aside any negativity of notions that you might have of me, put aside any fear that you might have of me, because just know, that together, we can make our last 2 years of high school, the best time of our lives. If voting for me is wrong, then you don’t want to be right.
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elizabethdorf
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Report 6 years ago
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(Original post by mianguyen)
So here's what i've got so far, I have a feeling that it's too long but i'm really not sure. Could you guys proofread and give me words of advises? Thank yoU!!

I'm actually pretty embarrassed, I was on my way to school and I realized I had forgotten to write a speech, so like any other normal kid, I payed a guy on the street $15 dollars to write one for me, so lets see how it goes.

Hello, My name is (name) I believe that you all would love me as your grade reps, because I will bring us much joy, Whatever that is. I'll make you as happy as Santa Claus not having to climb through unsanitary chimneys every Christmas's eve.

You may be wondering why I’m running for senates and the reason is because, I had a dream. In this dream, I met a giant talking Gummy Bear, and he looked deeply in my eyes, pondering into my soul and whispering his words of wisdom, “Run for the senate”. And so, I’m standing here today, hoping that you can help me to achieve Mr. Bear’s will.

Anyway, last year, members of the Senates have done an awesome job in making the school a cooler place for all of us, organising prom, HS days, Christmas, movie nights, spirit weeks. However, I think that it’s time the Senate, or YOU, the student body, needs some refreshment – new faces are to come and blow the wind of freshness into our High school lives. As some of you might have known, I’ve only been here for a year. A year, which gave me enough time to observe and be a part of our community, yet come out for bringing new energy and ideas to the Senate, and to you all, Grade 11.

Although I haven’t proved myself to be super active yet, I’m not exactly lack of experience. Being the president of the Student Council for 2 years in my previous school had helped me to gain experiences in taking leadership, organizing Dance Parties/Prom and other social events for students. So far, some of my draft ideas including Food Fights, Waterpaint Balloon days, more dance parties -probably with more economical prices. However, as our Business teacher once said “nothing is Free”, therefore it’s to my limit that I cannot share with you more ideas after the Election has taken place.

So guys, put aside any negativity of notions that you might have of me, put aside any fear that you might have of me, because just know, that together, we can make our last 2 years of high school, the best time of our lives. If voting for me is wrong, then you don’t want to be right.
This is actually sick, sorry I have no advice for you but good job, I might steal some of it if that's okay!!!!!
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Fallak Ahmed
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Report 1 year ago
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its great and the thing about the gummy bear is going to make them laugh and feel more comfortable around you and trust you more
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Fallak Ahmed
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(Original post by mianguyen)
So here's what i've got so far, I have a feeling that it's too long but i'm really not sure. Could you guys proofread and give me words of advises? Thank yoU!!

I'm actually pretty embarrassed, I was on my way to school and I realized I had forgotten to write a speech, so like any other normal kid, I payed a guy on the street $15 dollars to write one for me, so lets see how it goes.

Hello, My name is (name) I believe that you all would love me as your grade reps, because I will bring us much joy, Whatever that is. I'll make you as happy as Santa Claus not having to climb through unsanitary chimneys every Christmas's eve.

You may be wondering why I’m running for senates and the reason is because, I had a dream. In this dream, I met a giant talking Gummy Bear, and he looked deeply in my eyes, pondering into my soul and whispering his words of wisdom, “Run for the senate”. And so, I’m standing here today, hoping that you can help me to achieve Mr. Bear’s will.

Anyway, last year, members of the Senates have done an awesome job in making the school a cooler place for all of us, organising prom, HS days, Christmas, movie nights, spirit weeks. However, I think that it’s time the Senate, or YOU, the student body, needs some refreshment – new faces are to come and blow the wind of freshness into our High school lives. As some of you might have known, I’ve only been here for a year. A year, which gave me enough time to observe and be a part of our community, yet come out for bringing new energy and ideas to the Senate, and to you all, Grade 11.

Although I haven’t proved myself to be super active yet, I’m not exactly lack of experience. Being the president of the Student Council for 2 years in my previous school had helped me to gain experiences in taking leadership, organizing Dance Parties/Prom and other social events for students. So far, some of my draft ideas including Food Fights, Waterpaint Balloon days, more dance parties -probably with more economical prices. However, as our Business teacher once said “nothing is Free”, therefore it’s to my limit that I cannot share with you more ideas after the Election has taken place.

So guys, put aside any negativity of notions that you might have of me, put aside any fear that you might have of me, because just know, that together, we can make our last 2 years of high school, the best time of our lives. If voting for me is wrong, then you don’t want to be right.
can i steal some of this so that i could run not for senate but class rep.
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