I feel horrible :( problem with my ex

About 2 weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years for a number of reasons. It was a mutual decision and the main reason was that the relationship wasnt working anymore and we'd grown apart. We hardly ever spoke near the end and I think we did the right thing.

My ex now wants me back. He keeps texting me things like "I miss being happy because of you, I'm so depressed now" and yesterday night he texted me saying that he started smoking pot again because of me too. I feel really bad as I feel responsible for all of it. I've tried to explain to him that I'm in the middle of my A-Levels and its making me upset as I'm stressed out but he doesnt seem to listen. He is 20 and working full time, and I'm 17.

He keeps telling me that I've ruined his year because he wanted us to stay together forever etc. I dont want him to damage himself by taking drugs. I keep trying to talk to him and cheer him up (and it usually works for a while) but he only ever texts me at night so I stay up until about 3am texting him because I dont want him to feel like I dont care about him anymore. The next night he always texts the same depressive stuff again.
I feel like its my all fault and its a horrible feeling. I dont know what to do.

Reply 1

BlackHawk

17

You're not responsible for all of it. He has his own mind and is a big boy so he can start taking responsibility for himself quite honestly!

He's isn't a child and you aren't his mother. Ignore his texts or give the phone to someone to keep until after your exams. Don't let this guy screw up your life just because he's so hell bent on doing it to himself.

Reply 2

DenkMit

9

dont give in to emotional blackmail.

Reply 3

Invisiblank

BlackHawk

You're not responsible for all of it. He has his own mind and is a big boy so he can start taking responsibility for himself quite honestly!

He's isn't a child and you aren't his mother. Ignore his texts or give the phone to someone to keep until after your exams. Don't let this guy screw up your life just because he's so hell bent on doing it to himself.

don't let him guilt you into getting back together with him.

Reply 4

sleepy_person!

Hi, I'm really sorry this has happened to you, but you have to know at the end of the day it isn't your fault.

Relationships break up and it can't be helped, and to be honest, it has to be in him for him to react this way, it's not a normal reaction. There would not have been anyhting you could have done to help him, it sounds like these are all his issues.

Also, by the sound of his instabilty it was best for you to get out of this relationship maybe. I know this probably doesn't help at all, I just really hopw that you try not to take any of the blame for this :redface:

Reply 5

Ting-Ting

Don't let him guilt trip you into the relationship. It might make him happy to get back together..but what about you? you'll be miserable. Never get into a relationship (or start one up again!) from feelings of sympathy. You're still young and you don't need his heavy handed clinginess right now.

He's a big lad now, he should be able to take care of himself.

Reply 6

shinyhappy

14

Hi. The most important thing to do at the moment is to tell him that you need your space to finish your exams, and that if he really cares about you, he won't stress you out for the next week or two. Promise him that you'll talk/meet up/whatever, after your exams. Don't screw them up because of him.

Reply 7

username47781

20

shinyhappy

Hi. The most important thing to do at the moment is to tell him that you need your space to finish your exams, and that if he really cares about you, he won't stress you out for the next week or two. Promise him that you'll talk/meet up/whatever, after your exams. Don't screw them up because of him.

I agree i think it's least best to wait till you got your exams out of the way, if its not working obviously the best thing is to end it.

Reply 8

darkstar09

1

Don't let him guilt trip you!
This same thing (well sort of) happened to my friend. Her ex kept telling her he was hurting himself and wanted to die if he wasn't with her. But she ignored him. He treatened to kill himself (he had been in the hospital for this before) but she ignored him and sure enough he didn't try to kill himself. If you don't love him anymore then stop texting him because its making the situation worse. If you still care about him as a friend tell him. Tell him you only want to be friends and if he were a real friend he wouldn't be putting this pressue on you right before exams. If he doesn't get it then its time to kick him out of your life. You don't want him to become dependent on you. And remember IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT

I feel horrible :( problem with my ex

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