I wish I had more friends

At the moment, I feel like a complete loser.

I don't have many friends. Before my father was cross-posted to the UK, I was pretty much a social butterfly. I was more open with my emotions and thoughts. But now, I am finding it difficult to relate to the people around me, except for my best friend who also had similar experience as me (being an expatriate, similar interest, etc). But everyone else, I find it difficult to hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes.

The people around me are either obsess about sex or introvert. I'm not into clubbing, getting drunk, party 24/7 lifestyle, which I find is very common amongst the British teenagers. I enjoy people's company. I like going out and doing something that's interesting and new. At the same time, I enjoy being by myself to think and dream.

I'm 17, and turning 18 in a month. I've never been in a relationship, let alone had sex. But, this doesn't bother me at all. I've been asked out before but I just don't feel right dating someone or sleeping with someone just to meet society's expectation. Also, I'm extremely picky when it comes to dating.

The one thing I feel I'm missing in my life is more close friends who understands me, who is always there for me to comfort me, etc…

Do I sound like a complete loser to you? Why am I feeling like this? Bah!

Reply 1

Mister Cairo

No, you don't sound like a loser. You may think you are the only person with these kind of worries, but other people are better at masking them.

Close friends are made throughout life. Even if you only make one friend in the next year, he/she might become really special to you. I know on the surface it looks as if most people are into partying all the time but they are the more visible ones. You haven't stated what you enjoy doing-try and join societies that reflect what you want to do.

Finding friends is similar to finding a relationship-you meet a load of idiots but now and again the right person comes along. In the meantime, try and spend more time with yourself as well. Get into books, films, spend time with your thoughts. If you like comedy, Chris Morris' works might make you laugh (in a darkly humourous way) for example.

I'm 17, and turning 18 in a month. I've never been in a relationship, let alone had sex. But, this doesn't bother me at all. I've been asked out before but I just don't feel right dating someone or sleeping with someone just to meet society's expectation. Also, I'm extremely picky when it comes to dating.

And nor should it. Many of the people you meet who go on about having shagged eight people and a donkey on top of Butlins while drinking four litres of Pepsi or whatever are making it up to look cool. Your romantic life is solely your choice.

People go through good times and bad times during life, you've got to hang in there and live life as it comes until things get better, either by your actions or by chance (often its a mixture of the two).

Hope things get better in time, anyway. You never know the oppitunities that could be around the next corner.

Reply 2

shinyhappy

Yeah, I agree with what Mister Cairo said. I was going to say something along the same lines, but I don't think I could have phrased it better!
I know what you mean about not really being into clubbing/getting smashed and getting off with random people. I feel the same, and it does mean that I sometimes feel slightly isolated from my group of friends. Still, I'd rather that than sleeping with countless randoms and getting pregnant or something silly like that! You will find plenty of other people who feel like this out there. Are you going off to uni next year? Will be a good chance to meet new people, make more friends, certainly!

Reply 3

Pink_Chick

you don't sound like a loser at all to me-you sound like an individual who's comfortable in their own skin and knows their likes and dislikes...i think you'd be way more interesting to talk to than someone who only lived for weekend drinking. i think of friends in circles, like you have your inner circle who are really reallllly close, then the circles go outward up to just aquaintences (haha i have no idea if i spelt that correctly). i think it's great you have one good friend u can keep =) i think ppl change and as a consequence change friends-if you're heading off to uni i think u'll meet like minded ppl. altho i have an inner circle, they aren't into the same things as me and don't think about the same kinda things and i sometimes wish i had more similar ppl around me...but i actually like getting to lots of different kinds of ppl, and conversations (imo) are about comprimise so maybe if u take more than 5 mins to find out about them and how they differ from u it could actually be interesting...

maybe hanging out at places u do like more, u will come across ppl who like the same stuff too

i'm v similar to u with dating, and i dont think there's anything wrong with what u described in that area

i agree with other posters, plz dnt scare urself by thinking you're the only one who's ever felt this way-i think it's normal!

sorry for the jumbled message!

Reply 4

Zinc11

I kinda know how you feel. I am an expat as well (well my dad) and NO one is my school is. I also find it hard to relate to people as well but it gets better as you stay in the UK longer. I guess you start to have more common topics to talk about.

No, you are not a loser. It's good that you dont change yourself just to fit in.
What about your friend from your home country? I know I still talk to them alot because we still have so much to talk about.

Reply 5

dita_parlo

I wish I had more friends too. Well, more friends my age anyways.

Reply 6

DenkMit

You definetly don't sound like a loser. You sound much more interesting and fun than the people you described in your post.

Reply 7

Tinklebell88

What about your friend from your home country? I know I still talk to them alot because we still have so much to talk about.

I still talk to them. But, as time passes, I feel I've drifted apart from them and they've pretty much "moved on" after I left. I used to keep in contact with most of the people, but now, I've limited to just 2 of my best buddies because it feels a waste of time spending on MSN trying to catch up with everyone whilst knowing that I can never be as close to them and knowing how much I'm missing out in their lives.