Family too close

I'm 17 and it feels as if my mum and brother are constantly in my face. It's like they know absolutely everything about me and nothing's private. I don't really have a life of my own as they're mostly involved with everything. It's very annoying and I want s-p-a-c-e!! Without telling them this, how can i distance myself in a kind of subtle way?

Reply 1

generalebriety

16

Families don't understand subtle. Tell them to go away. Treat them like you would treat anyone who is treating you as if your life's theirs.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

I'm 17 and it feels as if my mum and brother are constantly in my face. It's like they know absolutely everything about me and nothing's private. I don't really have a life of my own as they're mostly involved with everything. It's very annoying and I want s-p-a-c-e!! Without telling them this, how can i distance myself in a kind of subtle way?

I think i know how you feel i think its normal in your teen years thats all i can say

Reply 3

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

I think i know how you feel i think its normal in your teen years thats all i can say

That doesn't answer the original question... at all, really.

It's not normal. It's normal not to want to hang around your parents and to find them embarrassing. It's not normal to sit back and accept your privacy being invaded, especially during late teens. Resentment and so on.

Reply 4

mortderire

10

no tu as mal compris- anon2 means that it's normal to feel resentful about privacy being invaded usw.

Reply 5

generalebriety

16

In that case, it's normal to feel resentful about your privacy being invaded at any stage of life, oder? :p:

Reply 6

mortderire

10

offensichtlich nicht, aber it's a trfile more pronounced during puberty

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

But I don't wanna hurt their feelings. When I don't tell them things I'm accused of being "secretive". I don't really wanna be direct and say "P*** off!" as it sounds kinda cruel. I just don't need them knowing every detail of my life...like what i talk about with my friends etc :/

Reply 8

Choad

1

Families don't understand subtle.

*so* true

Reply 9

mortderire

10

hmm je comprends what you mean,
ma mere wants me to be more open- like my older brother
but although being a loud person, im just not that way avec mes parents

actually act stressed- swear a lot, get angry quickly and tear your hair out- it'll make some people back off

Reply 10

mortderire

10

its the easiest way in the end

Reply 11

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

But I don't wanna hurt their feelings. When I don't tell them things I'm accused of being "secretive". I don't really wanna be direct and say "P*** off!" as it sounds kinda cruel. I just don't need them knowing every detail of my life...like what i talk about with my friends etc :/

You really have no alternative. Tell them you're sick of it. Don't just scream "piss off" violently at them, but tell them what's wrong. Rip into them if you have to, or talk calmly if that's your way of going about it. But one way or another, tell them you don't like it. Make yourself clear.

Reply 12

generalebriety

16

usama-ahmed

hmm je comprends what you mean,
ma mere wants me to be more open- like my older brother
but although being a loud person, im just not that way avec mes parents

actually act stressed- swear a lot, get angry quickly and tear your hair out- it'll make some people back off

Yeah... that works surprisingly well. I shouldn't admit to knowing that. But when I'm angry (which only ever really happens with my parents), I really do lose control and do stupid things... like punch holes in the bathroom door. That reminds me, I need to fix that. :redface:

Oh well.

Reply 13

mortderire

10

Yeah... that works surprisingly well. I shouldn't admit to knowing that. But when I'm angry (which only ever really happens with my parents), I really do lose control and do stupid things... like punch holes in the bathroom door. That reminds me, I need to fix that.

Oh well.

haha u joker,
parents dont ever seem to understand the stress you're going through
like parents' evenings, they always go cr*p and i always get lectures- why arent you doing this bla bla bla...

Reply 14

Chumbaniya

17

With your family, it's probably better to be quite direct about how you feel, rather than being subtle as you might want to be when raising issues with friends. Basically, your family have known you longer than everyone else and they're not going to feel bad (or at least not for long) if you tell them how you feel in fairly strong terms. Most families accept that they will have disagreements with their teenage children, and I shouldn't think they'll hold it against you if you tell them openly to back off.

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

At least your parents don't ask for your e-mail password...

Just don't tell them things that you don't want them to know. If they ask, just answer back in ambiguous terms.

Reply 16

zain88

1

just keep things to yourself. talk less about yourself to them. if they ask questions, tell them simply that it is personal and don't feel bad about being secretive. if they ask stuff you must answer then be as vague as possible. example: where are you going? answer: shopping. who with? friends. when will you be back? 7ish. they won't like it at first but eventually they will become used to it.

i dont like anyone knowing my business, least of all my parents. they didnt like it at first when i started doing my own thing at about 14/15 but eventually they have gotten used to it and don't know much about where i go and what i do, i just prefer it that way because things dont get complicated.

Family too close

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