Classic friend-liking scenario.

So, me (a guy) and 4 girls are in quite a close group of friends at uni. Unfortunately, I have recently been developing feelings for one of the girls. At first I tried to brush them off, but the insane jealously I seem to experience when she speaks to other guys at clubs convinced me otherwise. It's really getting me down lately, as I can't stand to talk to her if the conversation goes to some guy who she had a thing with, or what guy she was flirting with. This is beginning to cause me to avoid the group as a whole to try and forget about my feelings.

I often want to tell her how I feel but feel this would just ruin our friendship and the friendship within the whole group. Uni is coming to an end now and I don't want to spend the last week or so avoiding all of them. What can I do?

[Just a small background between me and the girl: we kissed just after freshers week, but became friends shortly afterwards. We have been hanging out recently and during the exam period. Perhaps this is why I feel I should open up to her...]

Reply 1

Misogynist

18

Face it, You like her alot. Act on the feelings.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Why

Face it, You like her alot. Act on the feelings.

That's the basis for my argument for telling her. But two of the other girls in the group are on the same course as me... they all knew each other first, so I feel like I could be rejected if I messed things up.

Reply 3

Misogynist

18

If you're rejected atleast you tried. Tell her something along the lines of 'Hey.. I've been wanting to tell you something.. <explain> I hope this doesnt get in the way of our current friendship'

Reply 4

Ron Stoppable

14

No, you need her to see you with other girls before you can plough ahead with her.

JK Rowling was a great observer of this when she was conceiving the Harry/Ginny storyline in Half-Blood Prince - Ginny made sure Harry: (a) saw her with Dean Thomas lots and (b) knew she had "five on the go at once". It serves as a "this is what you're missing" reminder.

Until then, you're just a dick in a glass case to her; something to break in case of emergency.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Ron Stoppable

No, you need her to see you with other girls before you can plough ahead with her.

JK Rowling was a great observer of this when she was conceiving the Harry/Ginny storyline in Half-Blood Prince - Ginny made sure Harry: (a) saw her with Dean Thomas lots and (b) knew she had "five on the go at once". It serves as a "this is what you're missing" reminder.

Until then, you're just a dick in a glass case to her; something to break in case of emergency.

Good advice. I agree with treading water until I can gauge where I really stand. But we'll only be in the same place for a week. Then we wont see each other again until October...

Reply 6

Ron Stoppable

14

Anonymous

Good advice.

I know.

Practice meeting women when you're at home over the Summer, just befriend them and then evolve the relationships. One at a time is good - you don't want to be making 3x the same mistake when you're just rehearsing. So when you're back at uni in the Autumn, attracting your friend will be childsplay.

Reply 7

_C_

I think you should just go for it. I don't know how many times I've pondered the same question (to say or not to say) but I've since realised that waiting will rarely change her feelings.

Would you look at a present for weeks just to see if it might change into somerthing else?

This is just my opinion: take it into consideration but not to heart :wink:

Good luck!

C

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for all the advice. I thought I'd bump this thread to update on what happened.

So yesterday was our last big night out at uni this academic year... so I sucked it up and told her.. and it turns out she felt the same way. Definitely my best night out in a long time. :smile:

The only problem now is what's going to happen to us in the 3 month break which commences on Friday. Not exactly great timing on my part.. :frown:

Reply 9

Ethereal

19

Anonymous

Thanks for all the advice. I thought I'd bump this thread to update on what happened.

So yesterday was our last big night out at uni this academic year... so I sucked it up and told her.. and it turns out she felt the same way. Definitely my best night out in a long time. :smile: