The most horrifying story you will ever hear.

I don't ge.....wat.....

Brilliant.

I woke up in the middle of the night. I looked through the window. I saw a tree. “I don’t understand” I said to myself. My head ached and my heart throbbed. That tree wasn’t there before. Could it have grown overnight? Impossible. I thought about stepping outside to investigate further. However, I just didn’t have it in me. Then I heard a thump. A light tapping sound echoed outside. “Is someone there?” I muttered. Then, I saw it. It was hunched up in the garden. A little girl. I had to see if she was alright, so I went outside. Her face was covered in blood and I could not see their features. She started screaming. I was startled. I beat her. I then dragged her into my basement. I needed to hide the body. I decided that the only fool proof way to get rid of it was to eat her. So, I put her in the oven. I realised it was 3 am. So I put the oven to the highest temperature to cook her quickly so I could go back to bed. But then, it happened. The oven exploded. I went outside to safety. It was ok. The horror was over.




I have recently started writing a horror novel and am in the process of submitting this piece to oxford to improve my chances of studying English. If you want any tips I am available to hire for £70 per hour.

It's too fast paced and doesn't flow well. Also, you've condensed what could effectively be two or three chapters in to one poorly structured paragraph?

£70 per hour? I have to assume you're trolling, but if not - take heed of any advice this thread has to offer you.

One last thing... Why did you emphasis that it was 3AM? Cheaper gas bills to burn her at the highest temperature?

Poorly structured and not worth £70 per hour? I'm oxford material my dear friend. The idea of it being 3 am is actually imagery to signify how it was dark.

You should've burned her at 4am, because that's known as the witching hour.
Would've been more fitting, you see.

I'll confess the last part had me cringing.