twice by the same guy

Back last year I was ready to make a move on a girl I'd got really close to only to discover that she liked someone else, she told me as a friend and didnt know I liked her. This year exactly the same process with a different girl and last night shes on messenger, drunk, and pours her heart out to me on how shes besotted with this guy who ironically is the same guy who the last girl liked. Again I hadn’t told her I liked her. This is starting to hit my confidence level as I seem to be ‘beat’ for lack of a better word to the girl by someone…in a higher league perhaps? Or just waiting too long to tell someone I like them. Either way I think im starting to develop a ‘whats the point’ attitude and cant seem to shake it, anyone had any luck in beating this if they’ve had it?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

you're probably being too "friendish" thinking that that is the best way to go about it. It doesn't work that way with alot of girls, you need to be a flirty funny bastard and make them wander "does he like me or not". Some girls won't like you whatever happens as they have a "type" they only go for, and you shouldn't take this personally as its just the way things are. I'd say if she's already putting you in the friend zone then the only way to get anything out of it is to distance yourself from her and come back with a different attitude in a few months. in the mean time look for more girls. Belive me i used to be the type of guy who liked one girl at a time and would often get no where, then i started going after multiple avenues and it means a rejection is never a big deal as there is somewhere else to focus on :biggrin:

good luck mate

Reply 2

Misogynist

18

Anonymous

you're probably being too "friendish" thinking that that is the best way to go about it. It doesn't work that way with alot of girls, you need to be a flirty funny bastard and make them wander "does he like me or not". Some girls won't like you whatever happens as they have a "type" they only go for, and you shouldn't take this personally as its just the way things are. I'd say if she's already putting you in the friend zone then the only way to get anything out of it is to distance yourself from her and come back with a different attitude in a few months. in the mean time look for more girls. Belive me i used to be the type of guy who liked one girl at a time and would often get no where, then i started going after multiple avenues and it means a rejection is never a big deal as there is somewhere else to focus on :biggrin:

good luck mate

I wonder whether I'll think like that someday..

Reply 3

chocolatecake

OP

Im not really the flirty type with people I dont know, probably why im friends with them first to get to know them. Is it really uncommon for girls to look at their male friends in that way?

OP

chocolatecake

Im not really the flirty type with people I dont know, probably why im friends with them first to get to know them. Is it really uncommon for girls to look at their male friends in that way?

Yeah, its a shame but girls don't look at their male mates like that. Total opposite of guys who always consider what a girl mate would be like :biggrin:

beat up the dude

^ Lol

Unlucky, mate. It just seems as if he's more confident around girls than you, which is nothing to be ashamed of as there is always going to be someone who's better with the girls than you. Its not a reflection upon you. Anyway... Post 2 was pretty accurate as well I think. Try not being too friendly... just be a mate instead of a close friend, if you know what I mean.

Reply 8

Candy-Kills

1

its better to go for girls you dont know, girls you are friends with are more difficult to suddenly attract. (though i made it once :smile:

) but seriously, if u like a girl the best thing is to "show" her u like her, you will soon enough see if she likes you too. And yea, sometimes its a question of luck, mainly.

Reply 9

*Claire*

1

There's this girl at uni who has really similar taste in men to me but is a real flirt. Its really annoying, 4 or 5 when I've met someone who I liked she pulled him/got his number etc before I had the chance to do anything. & she never even likes these guys much, its just a bit of drunken fun. Its really annoying! Mostly its guys I don't know well so I'm not too bothered but its still annoying cos I don't really want to go up to them after she has. Also 1 day it will probably be someone I really like!

Reply 10

Ethereal

19

Steal her handbag and get the numbers :p:

Reply 11

zain88

1

can i just make a point in saying that
a) i would never go out with a guy who had multiple pursuits, he can get lost if im not his first and only choice
b) i don't like guys who are "looking" for a gf, as opposed to would like one but aren't bothered there isn't someone they particularly like and can wait
c) i don't like guys who try to be hard to get ie act flirty but mean. they can get lost too because im not going to chase them unless i really really like them too
d) i don't like guys who won't be friendly because friends can't be boyfriends too. bull****. my boyfriend has to be a pretty good friend to me too. and if he's my friend before we get together, that's even better.

i don't know if many other girls feel like this so i can't say whether i think i'm in the majority.

Reply 12

Ethereal

19

zain88

can i just make a point in saying that
a) i would never go out with a guy who had multiple pursuits, he can get lost if im not his first and only choice
b) i don't like guys who are "looking" for a gf, as opposed to would like one but aren't bothered there isn't someone they particularly like and can wait
c) i don't like guys who try to be hard to get ie act flirty but mean. they can get lost too because im not going to chase them unless i really really like them too
d) i don't like guys who won't be friendly because friends can't be boyfriends too. bull****. my boyfriend has to be a pretty good friend to me too. and if he's my friend before we get together, that's even better.

i don't know if many other girls feel like this so i can't say whether i think i'm in the majority.