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Age Gap (re-edited as made error)
I am going out with this girl. She's 15, and in a few months will be 16. I've just turned 18, so is this age gap too much? It seems more defined, 18 + 15, than before when it was 17 + 15, though clearly it is exactly the same, just over 2 years. It might seem more ok when its 18 +16 though.
Shes pretty mature for her age, and obviously we won't be doing anything that's illlegal due to her age, but my friends are a bit divided. Possibly as we went to the same school (though i've just left), but it shouldn't really matter, right? That what i tell myself, but theres jus a little part of me that thinks, ooh maybe.
So overall: am i worrying about nothing, or is it wrong?
Shes pretty mature for her age, and obviously we won't be doing anything that's illlegal due to her age, but my friends are a bit divided. Possibly as we went to the same school (though i've just left), but it shouldn't really matter, right? That what i tell myself, but theres jus a little part of me that thinks, ooh maybe.
So overall: am i worrying about nothing, or is it wrong?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
If you like her, it shouldn't really be a problem, and if you've been going out a while then you shouldn't let the age bother you.
However, there are some things that may start to get more difficult, but these are just general and if you get through them then i guess it doesn't matter. If you're 18, depending on what you do socially, you (or your friends) may be more interested in going to pubs etc? Which could be awkward if you want to spend time with them all together? And maybe you've hit an age where you might start to be going in different directions?
But as you seem not to be concerned about this, and just what people think of the age, then I wouldn't regard the age as a problem.
However, there are some things that may start to get more difficult, but these are just general and if you get through them then i guess it doesn't matter. If you're 18, depending on what you do socially, you (or your friends) may be more interested in going to pubs etc? Which could be awkward if you want to spend time with them all together? And maybe you've hit an age where you might start to be going in different directions?
But as you seem not to be concerned about this, and just what people think of the age, then I wouldn't regard the age as a problem.
Reply 2
optimo
OP
ok i got well confused there. I thought it was in the wrong area.But it's not. I had two windows open. Gah. now i look foolish. I'll re-edit to say what it said. Apologies.
My freind is exactly the same situation. I'll support his decision as long as he's happy with it.
To begin with i thought it was too big (18 and 15) but now its 19 and 16 it doesn't seem as bad. The age gap isn't really that important.
Its just at those ages its quite difficult, for example she would be too young to have sex, or go out to pubs, whereas he can do both. (and would want to do both, i'm guessing)/
But, yeh. He seems very happy and thats what matters.
To begin with i thought it was too big (18 and 15) but now its 19 and 16 it doesn't seem as bad. The age gap isn't really that important.
Its just at those ages its quite difficult, for example she would be too young to have sex, or go out to pubs, whereas he can do both. (and would want to do both, i'm guessing)/
But, yeh. He seems very happy and thats what matters.
Reply 6
well u would freak out to know the age gap betwen me n my bf...im turnin 19 soon n he just turned 25..so dats slightly more than 6 years!!!
initially there was a little problem, age being the bar, but we have both compromised and sacrificed to solve our differences and soon found out its not age that matters but ur level of maturity and how much u are ready to give up in order to keep the relationship alive.
i think 2 and half years is a moderate age gap and i have seen many couples of the same gap making successful relationships..so all the best to the two of you!!
initially there was a little problem, age being the bar, but we have both compromised and sacrificed to solve our differences and soon found out its not age that matters but ur level of maturity and how much u are ready to give up in order to keep the relationship alive.
i think 2 and half years is a moderate age gap and i have seen many couples of the same gap making successful relationships..so all the best to the two of you!!
Reply 7
I don't think age gap matters, in fact, in many cases I think younger girls and older guys often work well together, as it is known that girls mature at that point a fair bit quicker than guys.
Personally, at 17, it would have to be a pretty impressive 17 yr old guy for me to want to go out with him, I prefer the company of slightly older guys, they genuinley do seem more mature. (My boyfriend is 21 and he seems about as mature as me, maybe a tiny bit more which is nice, a girl wants a guy who can look after her a little...well many girls do anyway.)
Personally, at 17, it would have to be a pretty impressive 17 yr old guy for me to want to go out with him, I prefer the company of slightly older guys, they genuinley do seem more mature. (My boyfriend is 21 and he seems about as mature as me, maybe a tiny bit more which is nice, a girl wants a guy who can look after her a little...well many girls do anyway.)
Reply 9
I can't see a problem (but then I'm sleeping with someone 15 yrs older than me), so long as you look after her and treat her right then that's all that matters. Oh and it's good that you're waiting to have sex until she's 16 
Reply 10
There's 3 years and 3 months between me and my boyfriend, and we started going out when I was 16. Interestingly my parents were ok with it (they said he was far too immature for it to be weird that we were 16 and 19.) His parents were a bit concerned I think, and didn't want him to sleep with me until we'd been going out for a while.
It then became 16-20 for a while, but I guess people had gotten use to the idea, and didn't regard it as anything weird.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the age gap at all, but if you are concerned about it, I think that once your girlfriend turns 16, it will sound a lot more 'acceptable'.
And if its any consolation, people will get used to anything in the end. One of my friends started going out with a 47 year old bloke when she was 16, an idea that we've all become accustomed to, even if it is a bit weird.
It then became 16-20 for a while, but I guess people had gotten use to the idea, and didn't regard it as anything weird.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the age gap at all, but if you are concerned about it, I think that once your girlfriend turns 16, it will sound a lot more 'acceptable'.
And if its any consolation, people will get used to anything in the end. One of my friends started going out with a 47 year old bloke when she was 16, an idea that we've all become accustomed to, even if it is a bit weird.
Tw!stEd
Meh, I aint a big fan of going out with girls that are more then 2 years younger then me(I've just turned 18)...
I alot of my friends from college had the same opinion as you do. Because they were 18 and 19, but now they have grown up you know hit their twenties. There ideas have changed, because girls who are a few years younger are well past being legal and can either drink or aint far off being able to drink.
I think alot of guys who aint the same age as a barely legal girl are going to be put off.
Reply 13
i think maturity matters more than the actual age
I'm 18 in a few months and was in a similar position. In the end I decided not to, simply cos it's just a pain when it comes to going out or whatever. And the age thing always bothered me too.
But if it works for you, go for it. Don't take any notice if others don't like the idea or whatever - only you have to be ok with it. And her, obviously.
But if it works for you, go for it. Don't take any notice if others don't like the idea or whatever - only you have to be ok with it. And her, obviously.
Reply 15
I think its an OK. age gap. My best friend has a simalar age gap, its not that bad
Reply 17
Age really isnt that much of a problem as long as you both get on with each other and have similar interests. The older you get the less the age gap matters. Im 18 and my bfs 26, which is a pretty large gap, but it has never been a problem for us in the slightest. Only parents have slight worries about things like that, but thankfully mine have accepted it now.
I don't think that is too much of an age gap at all. Maturity is more important. The only problem is it may bring up issues surrounding her not being able to get into pubs/clubs etc. My friend is nearly 19 7 his gf is 17. He was merrily arranging the trip to the pub for his party when I pointed out she is underage (they are strict round here). As the rest of us are 19 or very nearly u quickly forget! But thats hardly a reason to stop a relationship!
Reply 19
no its not, I had a boyfriend when i was 15 who was 18, we got on great, only awkward thing was he could go to pubs, i couldnt but wanted to. but apart from that we got on very well, cus at 15 a lot of girls are maturer than the guys their own age, wheras when guys reach 19ish they mature! so...go for it
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