How to cope with surgical scars????

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#1
I had my appendix removed when I was 10 years old and I am now 18. Unfortunately I had to have an emergency appendectomy and my appendix raptured during the surgery so they had to cut me up again to clean out my stomach. The wounds themselves were obviously sewn neatly but I just can't help but be self conscious about them. I have the standard horizontal one but they also cut me open vertically to clean out my stomach.

I'm happy with my weight and leave a healthy lifestyle, I am 5"8 and a size 10 so I don't have any body image issues in that department, yet it annoys me that I obviously can not wear certain types of clothes because my scars will be on display, plus I have never slept with anyone so really worried whether that will , I wouldn't say put anyone off, but scare them a bit? Guys what do you think???????
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MachOne
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#2
Report 8 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I obviously can not wear certain types of clothes because my scars will be on display
I have a 7 year old son, he had a kidney transplant this year. His 8" transplant scar runs across the entire width of his tummy, he also has a 3" scar on his thigh from a biopsy, a 1" scar under his belly button, an indentation scar the size of a 1 pence piece where his gastrostomy button used to be and a 2" scar on his lower abdomen where his dialysis catheter used to be.

He wears swimming trunks and has no problem displaying his very freshly scarred body. There was no 'obviously can not wear' issues.

No-one's body is perfect, we all have flaws. Learn to live with yours and be proud of the battle scars of life.

If you're struggling to accept your body image then talk to someone, go to your GP for a referral.

Believe me when you do sleep with a guy the last thing they give a ****e about is a couple of scars.
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grt
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#3
Report 8 years ago
#3
Don't worry about it. Yeah, easier said that done, but from a guy's perspective, scars on your body (face might be different) are really not much of an issue. And if this special guy sees it for the first time, his subconscious protective behaviour might even make it easier for you to get what you want

I see your issue with wearing some clothes. I agree that you should just avoid wearing belly-free clothing if it makes you uncomfortable. At least for now. Considering that it is a problem for you, suggesting anything else right now is just pointless. Nevertheless, you can work on showing them to some friends/acquaintances "incidentally". This might help you to get over the fear of embarrassment/inferiority/whatever it might be.

Also, I'm not sure to what an extent you have tried to reduce the visibility of the scars over the years. I haven't tried it myself but heard good things about Bio Oil products for visibility reduction of scars several times. It's not cheap but it might give you some ease of mind.


PS: If a seven year old child has an issue with showing off a scar in public, there'd be something seriously wrong with him/her. 'Social' and self-conscience usually kick in several years later only.
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MachOne
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#4
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#4
(Original post by grt)

PS: If a seven year old child has an issue with showing off a scar in public, there'd be something seriously wrong with him/her. 'Social' and self-conscience usually kick in several years later only.
You'd be surprised at how many young children have picked up on the vibes of what is considered a good looking body and already have body image issues.
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grt
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#5
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#5
(Original post by MachOne)
You'd be surprised at how many young children have picked up on the vibes of what is considered a good looking body and already have body image issues.
Well, you have a point. But at that development stage, many of them probably mainly "act like it" based on what they see in TV (and real life?), instead of "feeling it". Nonetheless, it's an issue.
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rattusratus
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#6
Report 8 years ago
#6
unlike some above posts I understand, its a personal confidence issue but im not sure what to suggest really

I was attacked by a dog at 8 year old and had 368 stitches in my face and my lip had to be reconstructed because a chunk was missing... at 8 year old it didnt bother me at all it faded and settled with age, most dont notice it (the surgeons did a good job) saying you have a child thats not bothered by a scar isnt a comparison at all

at 14 I was hit in the face with falling glass (from a smashed full length mirror) one piece hit me on the nose taking a slice out and one piece hit me on the arm creating an almost identical scar... my arm didnt bother me but my nose made my life hell at school with big gel bandages (luckily its quite faded now)

in november I had an appendectomy due to septacemia and im lucky to have only 3 small scars (1cm-ish each) 2 healed pretty smooth (although still pink) but the obvious one by my belly button ripped open and heeled badly (looks like a hemorrhoid coming out of my belly button and caused a funny crease in the skin) I know its a silly little scar but I hate it, my stomach was my best feature as im very selfconscious about a skin condition that effects most of the rest of me (and people notice the scar, there always pointing it out and asking what it is and its bright pinky red)

people trivializing it by saying they have a scar that doesnt bother them is very upsetting

good luck with it
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apoorvahk
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#7
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#7
I had to have a tumour taken out at the age of 4, so I have a large-ish scar on my left buttock. I also have a medium-length scar on my neck, a scar on my hand and a scar on my stomach. I just feel very self-conscious, and I can't wear shorts (unless they're long enough...and nowadays it's difficult to find decent length shorts that hide my scar.) It's difficult to forget them as people do keep asking and it gets tedious trying to explain it.
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Ladyliesel
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#8
Report 8 years ago
#8
Honestly, I think we can be our own worst enemies. People probably care less about these little quirks than the one who has them. If you want to wear certain clothes wear them. Sure, some people may ask about it but most will probably keep it to themselves. If you're happy with your body otherwise don't let this ruin it for you.
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Madhuck
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#9
Report 8 years ago
#9
I have a big scar on my knee from an operation I had last year. I know I can hide it but it's quite fun to make up stories of how you did it. Shark bites are always a good start, or you tried to be a super hero and got injured during a fight against evil. (some actually believe this rubbish if you're convincing enough). What I'm trying to say is don't look at as a negative, it holds a story or two
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mojojojo101
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#10
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#10
I used to feel very self concious about the scars on my arms (more so because they wear self inflicted), to the stage where I just wouldn't go out without a jumper on, regardless of how hot it was.

I did use BioOil in an attempt to make them less obvious and while it worked a bit, they were still reasonably obvious to me. What really helped me though was getting them tattooed over, it allowed me to change from being ashamed to proud of what my arms look like.

It's not an option for everyone but it's worth considering imo.
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username447608
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#11
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#11
Don't be ashamed of your scar its nothing ugly or disgusting its something to be proud of its unique to you, it shows what you've been through and endured. Not many people could say they survived life saving surgery.

I had open heart surgery when I was 16 and as a result ive got a massive scar from near collarbones down to just below my bellybutton, its all red and bumpy and its obvious and the scar where I had tubes in my tummy are raised and really icky BUT Id never hide my scar away. I use to I was so embarssed and self conscience of it. But my boyfriend couldn't care less about it he says it makes me special and its my own little unique mark that makes me me. Im proud of my scar because it shows that I survived something that most people wouldn't ever had to endure without this scar id be dead. If anybody ever says anything negative its because there just nasty people do not ever let anybody put you down about your scar. Most decent men wouldn't care at all about a scar. I always think of my scar as my battlewound !
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joker12345
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#12
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#12
I don't think guys will care at all, especially if they're someone you're dating and there are feelings there. I can tell you if I saw a scar on someone I was dating and they told me it was from surgery like yours I'd just feel sad that they had to go through that, if anything.
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Copycats&Acrobats
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
I had my appendix removed when I was 10 years old and I am now 18. Unfortunately I had to have an emergency appendectomy and my appendix raptured during the surgery so they had to cut me up again to clean out my stomach. The wounds themselves were obviously sewn neatly but I just can't help but be self conscious about them. I have the standard horizontal one but they also cut me open vertically to clean out my stomach.

I'm happy with my weight and leave a healthy lifestyle, I am 5"8 and a size 10 so I don't have any body image issues in that department, yet it annoys me that I obviously can not wear certain types of clothes because my scars will be on display, plus I have never slept with anyone so really worried whether that will , I wouldn't say put anyone off, but scare them a bit? Guys what do you think???????
Hii.
I have scars and I hate them, and also have loads of faded stretchmarks of which I am very self conscious of. However, I know that scarring is a part of life, point me one person who doesnt have scars. Anyone who is worth being with will not be put off or even think twice about your scars, except prehaps ask where you got them from out of interest. As for the not wearing certain types of clothes, dont let scars stop you. If you still feel too self conscious you can buy Veil Cover Creme which is a foundation designed to cover scars, burns, birthmarks and tattoos and is really good (you honestly cant see them if you apply it right). However, you should learn to be comfortable in your own skin, your scars dont define you and there's nothing unnatural or ugly about them. I occasionally hate mine, until I remind myself that there is no changing them and everyone has them. and then go back to hating them. One day I wont think twice about them... One day lol.
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Mel1215
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#14
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#14
I have a long scar across my stomach from numerous skin cancer surgeries, to make matters worse its keloid. I completely understand what you mean by being limited clothes wise OP. I wish I could give you some advice but I'm after some myself, I'm horrendously self conscious and always freeze and never know what to say when someone asks about it!

Have to be honest though, no man has ever asked about it in the bedroom department - I think they've been too interested in looking elsewhere.

I'm still learning to live with mine.
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Trill
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#15
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#15
I say own it. Obviously people will ask about it, you have to be prepared to answer the question or just say that you do not wish to talk about it.

I have a surgical scar located in quite an odd place;my right arm pit. As a child I a parotid gland biopsy to conform the diagnosis for mumps. In makes for interesting pillow talk.
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Anonymous #2
#16
Report 8 years ago
#16
I had a load of scars on my arms. I got them lasered off in the end, not because it bothered anybody else but it bothered me. I still habitually wear long sleeves most of the time.

There are cosmetic things you can get done, but it's expensive and imperfect. To some extent you're always going to have to find a way of living with them. But if you're comfortable in your won skin then most other people won't be bothered either.
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JimmyBignutz
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#17
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#17
Not to make light of your concerns, but scars can be a pretty useful conversational gambit. Obviously don't just go straight for the show - that is weird and off putting - although it can intrigue and form a certain depth of character people may not associate with you otherwise.
Having been a victim of minor knife crime I can state this with authority and without causing offence to other victims - that's how it works
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Potential Trigger
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#18
Report 8 years ago
#18
Lots of good advice here for OP. Just to add in addition to all this have you considered a referral to a skin clinic via your GP? As a medic I saw some massive improvements in scar reduction. Obviously it depends what type of scar you developed and what can be done-but they can help.
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username1449798
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#19
Report 7 years ago
#19
Scars are like tattoos you don't want. Everyone has scars, some more worse than others but they don't bother me.
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Elinh
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#20
Report 7 years ago
#20
I'm saying this as someone who has multiple scars one of which runs down the side of my face from when I was attacked by a dog when I was 11.
I think scars are kick ass theyre like tattoos that have a really cool story beside them.
I have multiple other scars, 3 on my knee from a recent surgery, two on my wrists from a particularly vicious jellyfish. And various other minor ones I think they're really cool and certainly a conversation starter.
That being said I can see why some people don't appreciate them in the same way as I do. There are plenty of creams and gels you can get from a doctor if you want. Or failing that bio oil works a treat but honestly if someone doesn't want to sleep with you just because of some lines on your belly then they're just not really worth it.

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