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Family being intrusive
Hey I'm just looking for a few other opinions here. I've noticed since going to uni that my parents are so intrusive into my private things - by this I mean my mail/personal documents. I discovered last Christmas that they'd been opening my bank mail since September [when I went to uni]. And tonight I've just heard them and my brother laughing, so I went through into my bedroom (I was on the phone with a friend] and they were reading job application forms I'd completed and laughing at things I'd written on them, basically taking the piss. I find this unacceptable and I'd actually go as far to say I feel a bit violated by it. My mum is the worst for this, she'll happily pick up my mobile and read incoming texts before I've even read them! It's just like wtf?!
Am I overreacting or do I have a point?
Am I overreacting or do I have a point?
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Aye, **** like that shouldn't happen. especially opening texts and reading your mail! Tell them to stop.
that's so rude! i would have gone insane by now i'm sure of it, you have to tell them what you think because that really can't go on.
what the hell?! my mom only does that if she's suspicious whatever guy is messaging me! other than that, my mom doesn't touch my email nor my phone nor Anything! What right do they have?! get them off! I think my parents would only read my job apps to proof read.
RR
Hey I'm just looking for a few other opinions here. I've noticed since going to uni that my parents are so intrusive into my private things - by this I mean my mail/personal documents. I discovered last Christmas that they'd been opening my bank mail since September [when I went to uni]. And tonight I've just heard them and my brother laughing, so I went through into my bedroom (I was on the phone with a friend] and they were reading job application forms I'd completed and laughing at things I'd written on them, basically taking the piss. I find this unacceptable and I'd actually go as far to say I feel a bit violated by it. My mum is the worst for this, she'll happily pick up my mobile and read incoming texts before I've even read them! It's just like wtf?!
Am I overreacting or do I have a point?
Am I overreacting or do I have a point?
My mum has my permission to open my bank statements so she can see I am sticking to an agreed buget and not blowing my £1000 overdraft. (as a result of that I managed to not be overdrawn at the end of my first year...which apparently is v.good)
However, she isn't allowed to read anything other than this and she sticks to that except when my Tesco clubcard vouchers come through because they signed me up as Mrs Williams not Miss Williams.
Anywho, I do think you have a slightly lucky if this is all your family do.
Since I have come home from uni, my mum verbal attacks me non-stop about my weight and apparently I am not entitled to food or drink in this house because she doesn't get paid by the government to keep me. I am apparently an ungrateful b**** because I am allowed to store things like my piano at the house while at uni and the fact that I don't care about this family and I am using them because I applied for a job doing charity work in a different area of the UK. Oh and the fact that now I have a boyfriend, if I don't like the conditions at here, I should pack up and live there. (I could go on but I won't)
A musical gal I would of left by now.
My parents for a while had this thing and they opened all my mail, I went to them and told them not to or I would be logical in my action but illogical in when I stopped taking action.
Be cool, calm, collective but threatening.
A musical gal, taking a charity job isn't a great way to be able to take a stand for yourself because ou can't support yourself if something happens! But i would get out of the house and start doing it some other way though.
My parents for a while had this thing and they opened all my mail, I went to them and told them not to or I would be logical in my action but illogical in when I stopped taking action.
Be cool, calm, collective but threatening.
A musical gal, taking a charity job isn't a great way to be able to take a stand for yourself because ou can't support yourself if something happens! But i would get out of the house and start doing it some other way though.
Crazster
A musical gal I would of left by now.
My parents for a while had this thing and they opened all my mail, I went to them and told them not to or I would be logical in my action but illogical in when I stopped taking action.
Be cool, calm, collective but threatening.
A musical gal, taking a charity job isn't a great way to be able to take a stand for yourself because ou can't support yourself if something happens! But i would get out of the house and start doing it some other way though.
My parents for a while had this thing and they opened all my mail, I went to them and told them not to or I would be logical in my action but illogical in when I stopped taking action.
Be cool, calm, collective but threatening.
A musical gal, taking a charity job isn't a great way to be able to take a stand for yourself because ou can't support yourself if something happens! But i would get out of the house and start doing it some other way though.
Would HAVE left- that annoys me so much, 'of' doesn't make any sense, think about it.
To the OP- talk to them about it and if they don't change you'll just have to be more vigilant about leaving stuff about- maybe get your address changed on your statements so they get sent to you at uni. What they're doing is totally unacceptable (and illegal as someone has pointed out) but because it's your family and you live with them they're unlikely to see it that way so there won't be much else you can do.
Yeah my mum has been opening my bank statements since uni and then putting them in an envelope and sending them to me - apparently cos it's easier to open them and put them in a big envelope/so she knows they are actually bank statements and not something more urgent. Hm... Luckily I've been really good with my money until recently (exams over, Reading tickets, holiday, house deposit for next year..aaa!) so wasn't too bothered, but I think it is a bit of an invasion of privacy.
I guess it's just the attitude that bothers you, and I don't blame you. If my parents read any of my job applications I'd be annoyed (although I'm sure they were only teasing you about that, I can understand you still feeling a little violated), and if they looked at my texts I'd be furious! My mum to an extent doesn't understand I want privacy, she'll happily just go into my room to look for something and search my drawers etc, and deny she has any interest at all in the condom stash she inevitably discovers.
I think if it's getting to you just say something, or if they still take the piss then do if back maybe? Make a point of being deliberately nosey and 'accidentally' opening mail and 'finding' things. Might be a bit cheeky but will get your point across - you're an adult and while you're still under your parents' roof, it's fair enough to demand a certain level of privacy.
I guess it's just the attitude that bothers you, and I don't blame you. If my parents read any of my job applications I'd be annoyed (although I'm sure they were only teasing you about that, I can understand you still feeling a little violated), and if they looked at my texts I'd be furious! My mum to an extent doesn't understand I want privacy, she'll happily just go into my room to look for something and search my drawers etc, and deny she has any interest at all in the condom stash she inevitably discovers.
I think if it's getting to you just say something, or if they still take the piss then do if back maybe? Make a point of being deliberately nosey and 'accidentally' opening mail and 'finding' things. Might be a bit cheeky but will get your point across - you're an adult and while you're still under your parents' roof, it's fair enough to demand a certain level of privacy.
Crazster
A musical gal I would of left by now.
My parents for a while had this thing and they opened all my mail, I went to them and told them not to or I would be logical in my action but illogical in when I stopped taking action.
Be cool, calm, collective but threatening.
A musical gal, taking a charity job isn't a great way to be able to take a stand for yourself because ou can't support yourself if something happens! But i would get out of the house and start doing it some other way though.
My parents for a while had this thing and they opened all my mail, I went to them and told them not to or I would be logical in my action but illogical in when I stopped taking action.
Be cool, calm, collective but threatening.
A musical gal, taking a charity job isn't a great way to be able to take a stand for yourself because ou can't support yourself if something happens! But i would get out of the house and start doing it some other way though.
Its paid and free accomadtion (well mostly free) and it is only until Sept when I return to Uni.
I am planning to move out permently this time next year, finances be consider but I am trying to avoid being here where possible.
I thought everyone's parents went through their bank statements? 
not on the basis of looking for anything in particular, just to check everything's ok.
The job application thing does sound a bit much though. My Mum has a real thing for going through my medical letters I have about the house and then threatening me with the information.
not on the basis of looking for anything in particular, just to check everything's ok.The job application thing does sound a bit much though. My Mum has a real thing for going through my medical letters I have about the house and then threatening me with the information.
Miles
My parents read my bank statements but they pay for stuff so I can't really protest unless I want to support myself all through uni.
That's a good point and I'm in the same position with my parents and uni financing, but I still don't want them reading my mail. I know they do it simply because they don't trust me and assume I'll have blown all the money, when in fact I haven't.
To be honest, I was more annoyed about the reading txt messages.
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