The Student Room Group

Trapped in LovZinadine Kilbane says:e triangle

Basically, im your average guy. Im not exactly the most talkative, but really like this girl in my 6 form. The first main problem is the communication barrier. Whilst shes more of your popular figure, i rarely ever talk - and typically get all shy talking around females my age. Im not going to lie to you folks, being a guy i'll admit shes pretty nice to look at :redface: but shes also amazingly funny and quirky...i guess its the whole persona.

Second is the sorta culture clash. While im pretty much clean cut, she has more of a quirky side - boasting a tattoo (lower back for those of you who are interested :p: ) and the whole sorta punk culture. While im in to the whole hip hop scene, shes more into the "local bands" and punk sorta genre. Not a problem, but with all these anxieties, its no wonder i cant just go up and talk to her - let alone ask her out. I hate to say it, but theres also the issue of race. Being a black guy, and her being caucasian, i dont personally see anything wrong with it. I guess im just anxious she possibly would, or the response i would get from others. I look around, and black folks seem to go out with black folks, and seems to be the same with all other races. I guess the main thing is the fact that i dont have the self confidence to break the sort of mould, but am truly in agony having to think about this.

The last problem, is easily the worst. Basically, she's tried to "get with" a mate of mine a few times. He hasnt shown any interest, apart from the odd occasion at a party, where theyre both intoxicated...(wont go into anymore detail). Ive got this school trip coming up (6 weeks times) to Russia, and both are going too. I dont want to tell him, because it would be awkward, and its a pretty uncomfortable subject area - knowing the type of guy he is. I guess, in short, its all becoming a bit too much. I just dont know what to do. For a shy guy like myself, its pretty much as close to agony as i will likely ever get.

(Note: Thanks for any replies if i get any, but ive just been dying to get that one off my chest)
Reply 1
Apologies for the title mix up - "Trapped in Love Triangle"
the self confidence to break the sort of mould


If you can pluck up the courage she will respect that.

shes also amazingly funny


Talk to her about something trivial you have in common, anything at all (subjects at school, how'd exams go? etc), then slip in a couple of humerous comments, which should be responded to. If shes funny herself then she loves humour.

the issue of race


*use at your own risk*
Some subtle comment about a stereotypical part of your anatomy could go down well...I know a black guy that jokes about this to his advantage all the time and it goes down great with the ladies, although I guess if you are less confident then it could be more difficult.

I think you should talk to this mate about it. If he's into her, then I guess your out of luck and it wouldn't be fair to stand in between them, but from what you've said it sounds like he isn't. If he knows you like the girl then he won't go searching for anything and would say no out of respect for you.



If its any consolation I've been in pretty much the same situation myself before, bar her liking a freind, and without the race difference. I've gotto say I did eventually talk to her, but things just didn't 'click' and I soon realised that it was just her looks that were roping me in, we had nothing in common at all.
And yeh, shyness sucks.