The Student Room Group

not ready 4 a bf

theres this girl who i really like and she really likes me back. we went out 4 a few weeks and everything was good but she says even though she really likes me she doesnt feel ready for a bf. apparently she feels really bad bout it but shes not returning my txts that much and keeps avoiding the subject- we r still m8s. i was just wonderin if any 1 had any advice?? would be greatly appreciated

Reply 1

Be her friend. If you're suited for each other you may still be suited when she's ready for a boyfriend.

Or maybe it's the sexual side she's scared of. Explain that you're happy to be whatever she would like you to be, a friend, a boyfriend, whatever, and that you can go at her pace - if you can. If you don't think she's worth waiting for I'd leave it there rather tahn lead her on.

Reply 2

To me it sounds as if you doesn't find you attractive anymore, of course this isn't what you want to hear though.

Reply 3

How old are you both?
(Hard to gauge what she means by 'not ready', if we don't know how old you are :smile: )
Just stay friends, anyway. She might come round to the idea of going out with you, especially if she comes to realise that you're not just after her for sex. Best of luck with it all :smile:

Reply 4

luton666
theres this girl who i really like and she really likes me back. we went out 4 a few weeks and everything was good but she says even though she really likes me she doesnt feel ready for a bf. apparently she feels really bad bout it but shes not returning my txts that much and keeps avoiding the subject- we r still m8s. i was just wonderin if any 1 had any advice?? would be greatly appreciated


mate if she fancied u she would probably be ready for a boyfriend. she probably likes u but is not attracted to u, or u r annoying, or something like that. its harsh, i know the feeling. **** happens, u had better get over her.

Reply 5

shinyhappy
How old are you both?
(Hard to gauge what she means by 'not ready', if we don't know how old you are :smile: )
Just stay friends, anyway. She might come round to the idea of going out with you, especially if she comes to realise that you're not just after her for sex. Best of luck with it all :smile:


well im pretty sure she aint worried bout that and she was really upset i think its something 2 do with her getting hurt (she was hurt emotionally by an ex bf) im 17 shes 16

Reply 6

Its fustrating but all you can really do is take it slow. Say to her that you do like her but respect her wishes & are happy to be just friends & see if it develops. If she's scared of getting hurt she may need longer to develop trust. A word of warning tho, a guy I liked told me he wasn't looking for a relationship but then another girl came along & they got together almost straight away so it can be a fob off.

Reply 7

luton666
theres this girl who i really like and she really likes me back. we went out 4 a few weeks and everything was good but she says even though she really likes me she doesnt feel ready for a bf. apparently she feels really bad bout it but shes not returning my txts that much and keeps avoiding the subject- we r still m8s. i was just wonderin if any 1 had any advice?? would be greatly appreciated
squirly
Be her friend. If you're suited for each other you may still be suited when she's ready for a boyfriend.

Or maybe it's the sexual side she's scared of. Explain that you're happy to be whatever she would like you to be, a friend, a boyfriend, whatever, and that you can go at her pace - if you can. If you don't think she's worth waiting for I'd leave it there rather tahn lead her on.
*Claire*
Its fustrating but all you can really do is take it slow. Say to her that you do like her but respect her wishes & are happy to be just friends & see if it develops. If she's scared of getting hurt she may need longer to develop trust. A word of warning tho, a guy I liked told me he wasn't looking for a relationship but then another girl came along & they got together almost straight away so it can be a fob off.

Listen to what Britney says:
If you really want me, move it slow.

Reply 8

TomX
To me it sounds as if you doesn't find you attractive anymore, of course this isn't what you want to hear though.



rubbish.

i have a friend, she's really pretty and she's a lovely person and she gets a lot of guys asking her out. the ones she likes she will date. but she doesn't want to make anyone of them her bf because she just doesn't want to have anything serious at the moment! she feels smothered when she has a bf and she knows that if she sees them lots and lots she will stop liking them, (it's just the way she is) and also, she doesn't want all the hassle that goes alongside having a serious relationship at this time in her life (arguments, wondering why he's not txtd, blah blah blah). it's not that she doesn't like these guys or stops finding them attractive, she just simply doesn't want a bf!

Reply 9

yeah its best having her as a friend than not having her at all. just be there for her, and if you really like her, wait for her. you never know what happens in the future!