Online relationship - asking her out

I have been chatting to this girl on the internet for over 8 months,in a chatroom and on messenger. I really like her. She is an amazing woman, sweet, caring, her personality is 100% how I like it. She isn't a beauty queen, but is kinda cute. She lacks in confidence and has had it pretty rough these past few years, there are so many times, where I wanted to just hold her and tell her everything is going to be ok.

We have both seen each other photo's, although I only ever showed her my BEST photos (i.e. photos where I don’t look like a total slob/idiot. Like photos from my Summer Ball), she in fact has shown me pics of herself, which others may have never seen before. I used to think that she fancied me because of it, as she as complimented me many times and told me things about her which no one else knows, she pours her heart out at me and asked for my help in many personal problems.

However recently we have been chatting less due to being just busy with life and she told me the type of man she fancies, and I certainly do not fit her description. However others have told me that maybe she knows I fancy her and thus is putting me off her by saying she fancies "chavs".

What I want advice on is, how do I tell her that I have feelings for her? I'm too shy to ask for her mobile number, also Im starting to think maybe she doesn’t fancy me,

I need to get it off my chest and tell her that I like her as I've had feelings for her for so long. I want to ask her out, meet her, get to know her in real life, but I'm too shy to tell her this. I also have a big fear of rejection. She has never had successful relationship before, so I feel as though she will say no when I ask her out because she's scared of a relationship

Also I fear she may not like the way I look, despite she's seen my BEST pics (I don’t usually don’t try and look my best half the time as I get dirty from my course at college anyway).

What shall I do, without losing her friendship, shall I forget about her? or ask her out and how (meet her first and then ask her out or on phone, messenger?)

Reply 1

Kate.

I think you should meet her at least a few times before trying to persue any type of relationship. Try and arrange to meet her for a day or something, and see how that goes, first. People are often very different online to how they are offline (and I've met quite a few people off the Internet).

Reply 2

planes12

To be honest you need to be with someone at least a year to find out if you are fully compatible.

but yeah chat for at least a year.

Reply 3

Louise88

You could just tell her that you really like her, say that since you have been chatting for a little while and get on well, maybe it's about time you two met up and did something together? That way, you will get to know her in person, she might not be the kind of person you think she is just because she acts a certain way on the internet.

I do completely understand how your feeling, meeting up first is probably the best option for you because people aren't always who they say they are, they may act differently online and offline so before you start going about telling the girl you fancy her and want to start a relationship up with her, get to know her a bit better first

Reply 4

AngelofnoColour

I think you should tell her how you feel, ask for her number as friends, chat to her on the phone and tell her how you feel, I think the guy should always make the first move (I'm old fashioned like that), but maybe she is like me, and waiting for you to say something first.

Reply 5

Milli

Tell her how you feel :smile:

Like you said, she's probably scared of having a relationship and is trying to put you off by saying she fancies different types of men.

Reply 6

suga_fly_77

There's nothing to be shy about; if she rejects you, she rejects you, and seeing as it's over the internet anyway then it's not really a biggie.

Go for it! You have nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain :biggrin:

Reply 7

Glory

meet her first before declaring your undying love for her. I met several people from online that id known for about a year. After the initial meeting was over, they started showing hints od their true personality. Green eyed monster was one word i could describe it.

Just meet her a couple of times and tell her if you still feel the same, dont rush things because thats where damaged friendships come from, when you jump the gun.

Reply 8

*titanium*

Honestly i think you waited too long, 8 months? Any girl that i have ever met through msn, and htne in person, it has always been very soon after, weeks maybes 1 month.

The best thing you can do thou, is just give it an iv got nothing to losse attitude, and ask to meet up and take it from there.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Erm... be honest, don't try and impress her? If you only send her nice pics then when you meet she might not like the "real" you after all.

Meet up, safely. To decide what you really think of her as a person you should spend a decent amount of time with her.

Think realistically about where it can actually go - if it's always going to be a long journey to go and see her you might just be wasting your time. Don't plan to alter your plans such as choice of uni (I don't know how old you are...) just to be with her if you don't know what she's actually like.

Finally I know what you mean about trusting people on the net a lot - it is easy to do this because they don't have any links with your family or friendship group so you know they won't tell anyone.