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I'm crazy about this guy
This is really long but please bear with me - i'm at my wits end!
Okay so when I was with my last boyfriend I met this guy Nathan who I became friends with. Everyone we knew started asking us what was going on because we seemed to have 'chemistry'. I had a boyfriend and he had just split up with his girlfriend so we just shrugged it off and continued being mates. Because we were in a production at the time we both saw each other a lot - about 12 hours a day for about a month. This included partying, working and hanging out together.
My relationship with my boyfriend of that time had become platonic and it was coming to an end. We both knew this but found it hard to offically let go. We were no longer sleeping together or kissing and we argued a lot because we were both quite frustrated at the situation.
Then one night I was staying over at a friends (after a party) in the same bed as Nathan when out of the blue he takes my hand into his. Then for ages we were just holding hands and stuff. Then we were getting closer and close and he turned round to face me, and after a while we started kissing. Then really kissing. I knew I shouldnt because technically I still had a boyfriend but it felt so right.
I split up with my boyfriend and Nathan and I continued to see each other, and the relationship became very very sexual. Neither of us wanted a proper relationship and he said that we would become attached but i said we wouldn't and we carried on anyway. One night he was really drunk and instead of being as cool as a cucumber like normal he was all over me in front of his friends telling me how i 'was the best' and kept telling his friends how wonderful I was which was a shock to them because he's reallllly not like that!
Anyway it got too much for him after a while and one night I was supposed to go back to his he said that we couldn't do this anymore. I was really pissed off but accepted it. We kept in touch a little but I didn't see him for months until we ended up involved in another project together. Nothing happened throughout the project - we spoke but didnt mention anything of before.
Then at the end of the project I text him to say I missed him and the text conversation got very flirty and I ended up round at his and we had an amaing night and ended up sleeping together. He said that he had thought about me ever since we were last together and day dreamed about it happening again all the time.
After that we had a little bit of contact but now its fizzled out again. I feel a bit confused and possibly used by it all. I text him a friendly text to say hi but he never replied. Then we were both at a party recently and hardly spoke although his friend decided to introduce us knowing full well we know each other very well. I think he was joking but possibly hinting at us to speak.
I think about this guy all the time. I've never liked someone so much. He is just a one off guy although his behaviour can be a little annoying at times. I just don't know what to do. I really miss him. I know he used to like me a lot, I just don't know where I went wrong...
I'm totally crazy about him and I'm not the type who ever falls for guys.
Okay so when I was with my last boyfriend I met this guy Nathan who I became friends with. Everyone we knew started asking us what was going on because we seemed to have 'chemistry'. I had a boyfriend and he had just split up with his girlfriend so we just shrugged it off and continued being mates. Because we were in a production at the time we both saw each other a lot - about 12 hours a day for about a month. This included partying, working and hanging out together.
My relationship with my boyfriend of that time had become platonic and it was coming to an end. We both knew this but found it hard to offically let go. We were no longer sleeping together or kissing and we argued a lot because we were both quite frustrated at the situation.
Then one night I was staying over at a friends (after a party) in the same bed as Nathan when out of the blue he takes my hand into his. Then for ages we were just holding hands and stuff. Then we were getting closer and close and he turned round to face me, and after a while we started kissing. Then really kissing. I knew I shouldnt because technically I still had a boyfriend but it felt so right.
I split up with my boyfriend and Nathan and I continued to see each other, and the relationship became very very sexual. Neither of us wanted a proper relationship and he said that we would become attached but i said we wouldn't and we carried on anyway. One night he was really drunk and instead of being as cool as a cucumber like normal he was all over me in front of his friends telling me how i 'was the best' and kept telling his friends how wonderful I was which was a shock to them because he's reallllly not like that!
Anyway it got too much for him after a while and one night I was supposed to go back to his he said that we couldn't do this anymore. I was really pissed off but accepted it. We kept in touch a little but I didn't see him for months until we ended up involved in another project together. Nothing happened throughout the project - we spoke but didnt mention anything of before.
Then at the end of the project I text him to say I missed him and the text conversation got very flirty and I ended up round at his and we had an amaing night and ended up sleeping together. He said that he had thought about me ever since we were last together and day dreamed about it happening again all the time.
After that we had a little bit of contact but now its fizzled out again. I feel a bit confused and possibly used by it all. I text him a friendly text to say hi but he never replied. Then we were both at a party recently and hardly spoke although his friend decided to introduce us knowing full well we know each other very well. I think he was joking but possibly hinting at us to speak.
I think about this guy all the time. I've never liked someone so much. He is just a one off guy although his behaviour can be a little annoying at times. I just don't know what to do. I really miss him. I know he used to like me a lot, I just don't know where I went wrong...
I'm totally crazy about him and I'm not the type who ever falls for guys.
To be honest it sounds like he's using u for sex, but only when its conveinient for him.
Its always hard to get the full outline of the situation in forums, but i think that if he was serious, he would be replying to ur text, especially the 'friendly hi' you sent to him.
My advice would to be to forget about him, look around for other guys and dont feel guilty if you meet someone you like. Then if he comes back to you, bring it up in coversation how u dont want to feel used by him. Make sure he doesnt win you over by sweet talking so that you'll sleep with him again and then he can shoot off in the morning.
Just move on a bit (i know its hard) and if he comes back, sit him down properly and discuss about having a relationship and where you both stand. You'll find out what he really thinks after that.
If u wanna chat about this feel free to pm me.
Hope this helps.
xx
Its always hard to get the full outline of the situation in forums, but i think that if he was serious, he would be replying to ur text, especially the 'friendly hi' you sent to him.
My advice would to be to forget about him, look around for other guys and dont feel guilty if you meet someone you like. Then if he comes back to you, bring it up in coversation how u dont want to feel used by him. Make sure he doesnt win you over by sweet talking so that you'll sleep with him again and then he can shoot off in the morning.
Just move on a bit (i know its hard) and if he comes back, sit him down properly and discuss about having a relationship and where you both stand. You'll find out what he really thinks after that.
If u wanna chat about this feel free to pm me.
Hope this helps.
xx
I don't agree. I don't get what both of your problems are!? You both seem to really like eachother so just get it together. Sit him donw and have a chat about what you both want. Don't throw it away coz you're both being a bit rubbish at staying in contact or can't handle the relationship.
Yeah I know it sounds like he is using me for sex. But I'm not sure if he is as one night I was all for it but he said that he 'couldn't do this anymore', surely if he was just using me he would have taken advantage of the situation then just booted me out after. I think the not replying of the text was rude but also very unlike him. I know he does this a lot in general but he had never done this to me before so I was pretty annoyed. Also when we are together he is very tender, loving and gentle with me. The other thing that upsets me is we were really good friends and would chat about everything, but nowadays this doesn't happen. I don't want to go out with him - I know it would never ever work out but I miss his company and friendship. Basically I wish he was more a part of my life than he is right now, even though I would never want him to be my boyfriend.
Thank you for your kind replies
Thank you for your kind replies
I do really like him but I also know that we can't be together. I still want to see him though. I'm also not sure if he likes me anymore. I worry I've done something to put him off or annoy him although I've no idea what.
I wish I could sit down and chat with him - thats all I want. Unfortunately when there is other people around there is no way of speaking to him or getting him on his own to chat. Also I will hardly ever see him now - the chance may never come up. I don't want to text him again seeing as he didnt reply last time.
I wish I could sit down and chat with him - thats all I want. Unfortunately when there is other people around there is no way of speaking to him or getting him on his own to chat. Also I will hardly ever see him now - the chance may never come up. I don't want to text him again seeing as he didnt reply last time.
t's a tough situation, but you sed he wants to meet on friday, meet him, make sure its private and take the oppurtunity to talk then.
Make sure you express your feelings to him as well as finding out his feelings for you.
Make sure you express your feelings to him as well as finding out his feelings for you.
Oh and another thing - he doesn't 'sweet talk' me into bed. Its not really like that. It just naturally happens. Generally we have a lot of sexual chemistry. You can just feel it, hence why everyone noticed when we first started hanging about together.
Meet me on Friday? He doesn't want to meet on Friday. I wish!
Sorry im getting confuzzled with another post
you know what they say... Confuzled be me name....
Well is there no way that you will be able to find a way to sit down and talk together.
Do you ever see each other at all at the moment?
you know what they say... Confuzled be me name....
Well is there no way that you will be able to find a way to sit down and talk together.
Do you ever see each other at all at the moment?
Only if we bump into each other in a bar we both go to but thats unlikely. The chances of seeing him are possible but at the moment kind of slim.
Its just so confusing. I do really like him, he's totally what I like in a person and when we are together everything just flows really well. A proper relationship would have never worked out though and we both knew that. I was more willing than him to take the risk of 'getting attached'.
Maybe I really should just get over it. I mean I've dated other guys since but it's never the same. I've met guys that treat me better than he does (eg the reply to my text) - but its that spark. I've never had such a spark with anyone before. Sometimes I get worried that I think of it to be such a big thing when he might not think about it in the same way.
Its just so confusing. I do really like him, he's totally what I like in a person and when we are together everything just flows really well. A proper relationship would have never worked out though and we both knew that. I was more willing than him to take the risk of 'getting attached'.
Maybe I really should just get over it. I mean I've dated other guys since but it's never the same. I've met guys that treat me better than he does (eg the reply to my text) - but its that spark. I've never had such a spark with anyone before. Sometimes I get worried that I think of it to be such a big thing when he might not think about it in the same way.
ill give you a tip, when both partners have the same spark, and it lasts, they're soulmates.
Its rare, as, if you believe in soulmates, their is only 1 in the whole world for you. Thats about a 1 in 6.5billion chance.
Its depressing, but its reality. If he were the one for you, i think he would have felt the spark. Im sorry to say that the best thing to do was to accept that it was a bit of fun, move on, and if he comes back, grab the bull by the horns and sit and talk with him.
Im sorry to give such lame advice, but i do hope i helped.
Cheer up love, plenty more fish....
xx
Its rare, as, if you believe in soulmates, their is only 1 in the whole world for you. Thats about a 1 in 6.5billion chance.
Its depressing, but its reality. If he were the one for you, i think he would have felt the spark. Im sorry to say that the best thing to do was to accept that it was a bit of fun, move on, and if he comes back, grab the bull by the horns and sit and talk with him.
Im sorry to give such lame advice, but i do hope i helped.
Cheer up love, plenty more fish....
xx
I think he felt the spark, we have talked about it. Also everyone else seemed to notice it too. To be honest it's the spark that made anything work at all. Generally we are very different people in very different situations and a relationship would never have been a possibility. The only reason we ever got together in the first place was because of the chemistry. So yes thats rather a depressing thought.
Hey like you say though.. plenty more fish. I just hope that I find that spark with someone else... and that the situation surrounding it is a bit easier. Oh and speaking of other fish there are two other guys I like a lot. Not in the same way as Nathan but I still like them. Although I can't really pursue them as one of them is his housemate and the other his best mate. How wrong is that?
Also I have been dreaming about it every night (now i sound crazy) and in some of them he is running away from me and in others he is telling me how much he wants to be with me. I feel really embarassed that Im dreaming about it but I mean you cant help your dreams. I just need to forget about the fact it ever happened...
Hey like you say though.. plenty more fish. I just hope that I find that spark with someone else... and that the situation surrounding it is a bit easier. Oh and speaking of other fish there are two other guys I like a lot. Not in the same way as Nathan but I still like them. Although I can't really pursue them as one of them is his housemate and the other his best mate. How wrong is that?
Also I have been dreaming about it every night (now i sound crazy) and in some of them he is running away from me and in others he is telling me how much he wants to be with me. I feel really embarassed that Im dreaming about it but I mean you cant help your dreams. I just need to forget about the fact it ever happened...
No no... dont forget about it.... use it as experience... it was a bit of fun, and something that will help you realise WHEN (not if) you do get the real spark with the real guy.
I have no doubts in my mind that you will.... you have shown that you are not afraid of comittment, and that you can easily develop strong feelings for a guy, you just need to find the right guy (the hard bit) and channel all those feelings into him.
Yeah, maybe you need to lie low and stay away from his housemate and best mate. If i were you (im male btw), i would search the market and see what guys you like, that will help refine your search later on. Im guessing your still young (dont take that as offence, i can kinda tell from xperience, understand) so you have a looong time until you need to settle down.
You'll get there, i promise, just be persistant.
C
xx
I have no doubts in my mind that you will.... you have shown that you are not afraid of comittment, and that you can easily develop strong feelings for a guy, you just need to find the right guy (the hard bit) and channel all those feelings into him.
Yeah, maybe you need to lie low and stay away from his housemate and best mate. If i were you (im male btw), i would search the market and see what guys you like, that will help refine your search later on. Im guessing your still young (dont take that as offence, i can kinda tell from xperience, understand) so you have a looong time until you need to settle down.
You'll get there, i promise, just be persistant.
C
xx
Thanks C, your awesome.
Well I'm actually 20 and in the past I've had a serious two year relationship, a serious one year relationship, 3x 6 month relationships and various other things. I've dated a lot of guys and had my fair share of different kinds of relationships and partners. I've been in love before and I've been loved. I've had really amazing relationships and also one very bad (abusive) one. I've also experienced a little of most things inbetween.
I realise that I sound quite young in my posts - probably because this situation sends me back when I was 15 and feeling crazy about a different guy every week!
Generally I am very level headed with relationships and I'm usually the one giving relationship advice to others. With this it just seems really different. To be honest I can't look back on this as a 'bit of fun' because for me it wasn't. It was amazing but utterly confusing.
I don't want to have a boyfriend at the moment. I love being single and concentrating on developing my own interests and being free from the responsibiltity of a relationship. I don't even want <i>him</i> as a boyfriend. I just miss him. I know what my ideal guy is and unfortunatly it's pretty much him. This is why I like his friends I think as their personality and interests are somewhat similar.
Anyway I feel better after writing this out. Thanks C.
Well I'm actually 20 and in the past I've had a serious two year relationship, a serious one year relationship, 3x 6 month relationships and various other things. I've dated a lot of guys and had my fair share of different kinds of relationships and partners. I've been in love before and I've been loved. I've had really amazing relationships and also one very bad (abusive) one. I've also experienced a little of most things inbetween.
I realise that I sound quite young in my posts - probably because this situation sends me back when I was 15 and feeling crazy about a different guy every week!
Generally I am very level headed with relationships and I'm usually the one giving relationship advice to others. With this it just seems really different. To be honest I can't look back on this as a 'bit of fun' because for me it wasn't. It was amazing but utterly confusing.
I don't want to have a boyfriend at the moment. I love being single and concentrating on developing my own interests and being free from the responsibiltity of a relationship. I don't even want <i>him</i> as a boyfriend. I just miss him. I know what my ideal guy is and unfortunatly it's pretty much him. This is why I like his friends I think as their personality and interests are somewhat similar.
Anyway I feel better after writing this out. Thanks C.
Thats the most important thing, that you feel better. If you have got rit of some confusion then at least something has been done.
Sorry for thinking your younger lol. Yeah i think your being very responsible with the situation.
Just make sure that if you do get a chance to talk. tell him everything (easier said than done i know) and i promise u he will listen. Unfortunately i cant promise u how he will react coz it depends on the type of guy he is. But im sure it wont be bad.
Tell him you miss and need his friendship as you really treasure it. If he doesnt want to, then as i sai, plenty more fish. And they may not be 'the one' but if he doesnt have the same feelings for u as u have for him, then he isn't 'the one' - ur just getting pretty close to knowing what 'ur one' will be like.
Take this experience as a good one, whatever the outcome, as you have learnt alot from it.
Im happy that i could help.
xx
Sorry for thinking your younger lol. Yeah i think your being very responsible with the situation.
Just make sure that if you do get a chance to talk. tell him everything (easier said than done i know) and i promise u he will listen. Unfortunately i cant promise u how he will react coz it depends on the type of guy he is. But im sure it wont be bad.
Tell him you miss and need his friendship as you really treasure it. If he doesnt want to, then as i sai, plenty more fish. And they may not be 'the one' but if he doesnt have the same feelings for u as u have for him, then he isn't 'the one' - ur just getting pretty close to knowing what 'ur one' will be like.
Take this experience as a good one, whatever the outcome, as you have learnt alot from it.
Im happy that i could help.
xx
i had the same situation at uni a few weeks ago, met a guy, he was really into me, we saw each other every day and it was very very .... good shall we say in that sense. He kept telling me how nice i was, but i ddint want a relationship. then i decided i did really like him after a while, and said ok ill go out with you, but he said he ddint feel that way for me now, he had realised that, but he was happy to carry on just bein sexual. anyways i decided to end it because...at the end of the day one of you r gona develop feelings and get hurt like me. and now im also confused as to why he asked me out then changed his mind, and sometimes i feel like just going round to him and taking his clothes off, but u must resist the urge. it doesnt mean he used you, it just means he ddint want a relationship but likes you...dont feel bad, but dont go there again
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