What do girls expect on a first date? Watch

snakesnake
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I'm a guy in his 20s and I'm quite inexperienced with dating. As such I would like some tips from girls on how to behave on a first date.

As a backstory, I have begun online dating and am seeing girls I've met on there. Usually we chat for a bit and then agree to meet up for some casual bites/drinks/etc.

If a girl went on such a date, what would you expect from the guy? Should he hold her hand/put his arm around her and would she expect a kiss at the end of the date?

So far I've usually ended my dates with a hug and haven't gone so far as to hold hands or put my arm around her or go in for a kiss but I'm wondering if perhaps I've been doing it wrong and I should be showing more physical affection towards her? The reason I have held myself back is because I don't want to come off as some kind of Quagmire'esque guy who is only after one thing.

Also would it be ok to compliment a girl's appearance (in a non creepy way) on a first date?
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nopenopenope
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1) Don't ask girls for advice on girls, ever. They're wrong
2) Make physical contact but don't over do it, aka don't be a creep
3) Kiss her when the opportunity arises, give her a hug when you first see her. Giver her a kiss at the end if all went well/there was no other opportunity
4) Compliment her but don't over do it, aka don't be a creep. At your age, IMO it's better to have a little banter, I'm not saying that pulling book of pook **** is good but the push pull does work if you make it a joke and not an actual insult, aka don't be a creep

Bonus?????
5) Give her the D
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yepyepyep
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(Original post by nopenopenope)
1) Don't ask girls for advice on girls, ever. They're wrong
2) Make physical contact but don't over do it, aka don't be a creep
3) Kiss her when the opportunity arises, give her a hug when you first see her. Giver her a kiss at the end if all went well/there was no other opportunity
4) Compliment her but don't over do it, aka don't be a creep. At your age, IMO it's better to have a little banter, I'm not saying that pulling book of pook **** is good but the push pull does work if you make it a joke and not an actual insult, aka don't be a creep

Bonus?????
5) Give her the D
Well I think he should grab her upon greeting her and proceed to gaze longingly into her eyes before licking her ears.
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Robbie242
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the D
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Maid Marian
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A gentleman
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geetar
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You to pay for her.
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IlexBlue
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(Original post by yepyepyep)
Well I think he should grab her upon greeting her and proceed to gaze longingly into her eyes before licking her ears.
We actually really like it when you talk about how many you children you want to have and an ideal date for a wedding, too.
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yepyepyep
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(Original post by IlexBlue)
We actually really like it when you talk about how many you children you want to have and an ideal date for a wedding, too.
I always turn up to dates with an artists impression of my future home, complete with a blueprint of the kitchen so my female can really get to grips with it.
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hollywoodbudgie
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Only kiss someone if it feels right at the time, you really don't have to do this on the first date.
It'd be nice if you hold her hand at some point, just to indicate you like where this is going.

A big hug is a plus, but that's because I like cuddling
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wannaB a medic
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I've been on a few dates recently, yep hold her hand, kiss her at the end and do compliment her....My dates left me a bit confused, cos non of that physicality was there, I wasn't too sure he was attracted to me and in the end saw the whole experience as 'friendly' instead of romantic and that we were 'just friends'....please make it clear it's more than that
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IlexBlue
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(Original post by yepyepyep)
I always turn up to dates with an artists impression of my future home, complete with a blueprint of the kitchen so my female can really get to grips with it.
That's a good idea! Though you should probably include a recipe book for her too.

In case she makes you the wrong kind of sandwich in there.
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yepyepyep
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(Original post by IlexBlue)
That's a good idea! Though you should probably include a recipe book for her too.

In case she makes you the wrong kind of sandwich in there.
There is no 'wrong' kind of sandwich. Any sandwich is a good sandwich.
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snakesnake
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(Original post by geetar)
You to pay for her.
I always pay for dates.

(Original post by wannaB a medic)
I've been on a few dates recently, yep hold her hand, kiss her at the end and do compliment her....My dates left me a bit confused, cos non of that physicality was there, I wasn't too sure he was attracted to me and in the end saw the whole experience as 'friendly' instead of romantic and that we were 'just friends'....please make it clear it's more than that
I think this hits the nail on the head, that describes my dates quite well.

Because of my inexperience, I don't really know how physically forward its ok to be on a first date with someone I've just met, as in where does the line run between being a perv/being just a friend/being a potential boyfriend (or casual hookup)?

As an update, I just got a text from a girl I went on a date on recently and she said that although I was a really nice guy, she said she saw me as a friend but she's looking for a boyfriend. It must mean that there is something that I didn't do that she expected me to have done, as the only physical contact we had was a hug (that I initiated, not her) at the end of the date, plus I asked her for a follow up date right there and then which she agreed to (and of course which has subsequently been declined).
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Lyla_Mikaeal
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I guess we expect a gentleman on the first date...but then again, we expect that on every date (or maybe it's just me?)...but don't all Mr Darcy on the girl, being a gentleman doesn't mean we don't like a little banter lol it's not like we're looking for marriage! We want to have fun with someone who cares and is generally good company to be with.

As to physical affection, it depends on the girl. If she's a shy one, start with a hug, if she responds awkwardly then she might not be ready for a kiss yet (maybe next date?). If she's a bold girl, then she will probably be looking for a kiss on her first date. If she's somewhere in between, just start with a peck on the cheek and then see how it goes. There is no science to dating, it's all about experience and trying. Don't worry if your first date doesn't go well. Or your second or third...You're still young and have plenty of time to date..You'll eventually find the right girl and when you do, you will look back to this time and laugh at yourself for getting so worried :rolleyes:

(Original post by nopenopenope)
1) Don't ask girls for advice on girls, ever. They're wrong
Or, you could ignore everything I just said according to him because apparently, we are wrong
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wannaB a medic
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(Original post by snakesnake)
I always pay for dates.



I think this hits the nail on the head, that describes my dates quite well.

Because of my inexperience, I don't really know how physically forward its ok to be on a first date with someone I've just met, as in where does the line run between being a perv/being just a friend/being a potential boyfriend (or casual hookup)?

As an update, I just got a text from a girl I went on a date on recently and she said that although I was a really nice guy, she said she saw me as a friend but she's looking for a boyfriend. It must mean that there is something that I didn't do that she expected me to have done, as the only physical contact we had was a hug (that I initiated, not her) at the end of the date, plus I asked her for a follow up date right there and then which she agreed to (and of course which has subsequently been declined).
I'd say that text convos must be fairly flirty before the date is even on the cards...Well tell her she looks lovely, compliment her outfit, girls love that, hug her or give her a kiss on the cheek when you meet her but you must initiate it. Your compliments must seem sincere, don't over do it/ make them cheesy. During the date, ask her about herself, don't overtalk, give her a chance to start convos etc but defo don't make it too focused on you. Then after the date, hold hands with her, say you enjoyed the time you spent with her ask her if she did too, always good to know where you stand before you ask her out again/ kiss if appropriate - possibly 2nd/3rd date. I'd say every chance you get just try to break the touch barrier, laughing then placing your hand on her shoulder etc nothing too out there/will have her thinking you're creepy. But obviously all these things will come with more experience cos you won't be over thinking and you'll be more comfortable with dating, so most importantly be yourself! Plenty more girls out there....it's not the end of the world
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Zarek
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In my experience there are different expectations depending on the build up to the first date. Where there has been smouldering anticipation of this date on both sides, it is no hold barred - minimum proper kissing at the end. Where it is a bit more weighing up then it is a judgement call but needs to be a fun time and a more measured conclusion, to build anticipation for next time. In my experience internet/blind dating is the most difficult and, usually, unrewarding. Have no expectations and see what happens.
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Hellz_Bellz!
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(Original post by geetar)
You to pay for her.
I've never expected a guy to pay for me on the first date..

Also OP it depends massively on the girl. Some will be against kissing on a first date, others will happily kiss. Some will even take it to the next level. Not all girls are the same, as surprising as that may sound :rolleyes:
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snakesnake
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(Original post by Lyla_Mikaeal)
I guess we expect a gentleman on the first date...but then again, we expect that on every date (or maybe it's just me?)...but don't all Mr Darcy on the girl, being a gentleman doesn't mean we don't like a little banter lol it's not like we're looking for marriage! We want to have fun with someone who cares and is generally good company to be with.

As to physical affection, it depends on the girl. If she's a shy one, start with a hug, if she responds awkwardly then she might not be ready for a kiss yet (maybe next date?). If she's a bold girl, then she will probably be looking for a kiss on her first date. If she's somewhere in between, just start with a peck on the cheek and then see how it goes. There is no science to dating, it's all about experience and trying. Don't worry if your first date doesn't go well. Or your second or third...You're still young and have plenty of time to date..You'll eventually find the right girl and when you do, you will look back to this time and laugh at yourself for getting so worried :rolleyes:
I always try to be a gentleman, I would have it no other way. The "eventually will find someone" is something I am losing faith it because at 24 I still have done practically nothing with a girl. Most people started dating many years ago, when they were 16 or so, but with me it never worked that way and it still isn't working. I am trying to get experience though so far I am just failing miserably.


(Original post by wannaB a medic)
I'd say that text convos must be fairly flirty before the date is even on the cards...Well tell her she looks lovely, compliment her outfit, girls love that, hug her or give her a kiss on the cheek when you meet her but you must initiate it. Your compliments must seem sincere, don't over do it/ make them cheesy. During the date, ask her about herself, don't overtalk, give her a chance to start convos etc but defo don't make it too focused on you. Then after the date, hold hands with her, say you enjoyed the time you spent with her ask her if she did too, always good to know where you stand before you ask her out again/ kiss if appropriate - possibly 2nd/3rd date. I'd say every chance you get just try to break the touch barrier, laughing then placing your hand on her shoulder etc nothing too out there/will have her thinking you're creepy. But obviously all these things will come with more experience cos you won't be over thinking and you'll be more comfortable with dating, so most importantly be yourself! Plenty more girls out there....it's not the end of the world
Ok, will remember to compliment her looks next time. I admit that so far I've completely screwed that one up and forgotten to do it. Also girls have looked a lot prettier in real life than in their online dating profiles, or so I've found to be true so far.

I guess you're right that plenty more girls out there though I've liked the ones I've dated so far but those have now been eliminated from the list of candidates.
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nopenopenope
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(Original post by yepyepyep)
Well I think he should grab her upon greeting her and proceed to gaze longingly into her eyes before licking her ears.
Except for this, always this

(Original post by Lyla_Mikaeal)
Or, you could ignore everything I just said according to him because apparently, we are wrong
You got it mang, gg
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yepyepyep
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(Original post by nopenopenope)
Except for this, always this


You got it mang, gg
Oh nopey you do make me chuckle.
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