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Are my parents damaging my confidence and me mentally?

1

my parents and older brother keep telling me that im going to amount to nothing when im older and that im never going to learn anything. they keep putting me down and saying im useless and to get a job and when im 18 there gonna throw me out they laugh about this all the time even when im in the same room. i think theyre doing this cos i went to a party the other week and did get drunk and happend to throw up when i got home and another thing i have my hair relatively long about to the tip of my nose and they use that against me saying that they dont like my style so its enough reason for them to throw me out. personally i look at other adolescents and i dont think im bad at all!

does anyone know what i can do so that can stop this? and do you think it harms my confidence and me mentally?

Reply 1

ssmoose

13

The simple answer is yes it probably is. What you can do about it I'm not sure, maybe some smart alec will sort you out in a minute.

Reply 2

Shreerac1

10

Get a custom branding iron and burn "I'm a dick" onto each of their foreheads when they're sleeping. That'll teach em.

Reply 3

halfoflessthan50p

12

They're your family! listen to yourself. Id be so surprised if they werent joking. They obviously want the best for you. Older brothers can be quite mean sometimes but deep down even they care about you.

If its bothering you just tell them (in a proper serious "can we have a talk about something" way) and they will stop im sure.

lol when i was in primary school my parents used to make fun of me sometimes. If i was going around to a girls house they'd say "Bryn's got a girlfriend!!!" and my face would go bright red haha (i was very adorable btw.) Im not as easily embarassed now so its not a problem but i think that might have caused some long-lasting psychological damage :p:

because im soo uneasy when i have to introduce a girl to my mum and dad now. Anyway, how is that relevant?

erm. yeh. If i had told them it got to me so much im sure they would have stopped (because they didnt know it bothered me so much and y'know they do care) and i wouldnt have this stupid little problem with myself now :biggrin:

Just go and talk to your mum (or dad. Whoever's closest to you) and sort it out. They dont realise its bothering you, that's all. Once they do, they'll stop. promise :wink:

Reply 4

kookie_4

OP

1

when i turn 18 they said they will have a final talk with me and if i dont "change" they will throw me out..do you think i should go along with what they say or just leave?

Reply 5

unfinished sympathy

15

i'd ignore them, and move out asap. It sounds as though they are just being mean, and don't want to destroy you mentally as it were. Perhaps they're using reverse psychology to try to keep you at home, and to stop you going out

Reply 6

unfinished sympathy

15

halfoflessthan50p

They're your family! listen to yourself. Id be so surprised if they werent joking. They obviously want the best for you. Older brothers can be quite mean sometimes but deep down even they care about you.

If its bothering you just tell them (in a proper serious "can we have a talk about something" way) and they will stop im sure.

lol when i was in primary school my parents used to make fun of me sometimes. If i was going around to a girls house they'd say "Bryn's got a girlfriend!!!" and my face would go bright red haha (i was very adorable btw.) Im not as easily embarassed now so its not a problem but i think that might have caused some long-lasting psychological damage :p:

because im soo uneasy when i have to introduce a girl to my mum and dad now. Anyway, how is that relevant?

erm. yeh. If i had told them it got to me so much im sure they would have stopped (because they didnt know it bothered me so much and y'know they do care) and i wouldnt have this stupid little problem with myself now :biggrin:

Just go and talk to your mum (or dad. Whoever's closest to you) and sort it out. They dont realise its bothering you, that's all. Once they do, they'll stop. promise :wink:

yeah but still. there's no need for what they say, it sounds just plain mean to me. If they are mucking about with you then i'd say it's just a bit of fun.

Reply 7

kookie_4

OP

1

i want to move out i really really do, im in the proccess of finding a job ive applied to several places and im still looking just in case. however im going to uni next year and staying at home cos its not far away and they said that if i move out they wont pay for my tuition fees :confused:

i cant afford it so im kinda trapped in a situation where they have me in control sort of and i really want to go to university for me but i cant seem to get any independance.

Reply 8

unfinished sympathy

15

kookie_4

i want to move out i really really do, im in the proccess of finding a job ive applied to several places and im still looking just in case. however im going to uni next year and staying at home cos its not far away and they said that if i move out they wont pay for my tuition fees :confused:

i cant afford it so im kinda trapped in a situation where they have me in control sort of and i really want to go to university for me but i cant seem to get any independance.

then i would stay, and do you have a cellar or garage or something that you could change into a room, so you could ignore your parents. Or you could try talking to them about it, which imo never works cos they don't listen unless you're lucky

Reply 9

kookie_4

OP

1

nope i dont have a cellar or garage we have a loft but thats my older brothers. weve got a shed?? but i dont think itll be great in thw winter with all the coldness and stuff plus theres loadsa bugs in there that might crawl on my face.

Reply 10

FeedTheGoat

Emo? My hair can touch the tip of my nose too but I'm damned handsome so it's ok.

Erm but to answer your question, you've gotta toughen yourself to it. Prove the b****** (am I allowed to say that?:edit) wrong! Victory tastes so much sweeter that way

Reply 11

Chumbaniya

17

It's probably one of those situations where them having a bit of fun has gotten a bit out of hand. If you feel like they're having a go at them, tell them and they should go a bit easier on you. If they're anything like my family (and I myself am guilty of taking jokey insults a too far with my little brother) they probably don't realise that what they think is funny is actually getting to you.

Reply 12

unfinished sympathy

15

kookie_4

nope i dont have a cellar or garage we have a loft but thats my older brothers. weve got a shed?? but i dont think itll be great in thw winter with all the coldness and stuff plus theres loadsa bugs in there that might crawl on my face.

oooo nooo! I wouldn't go there then :smile:

it does sound as they are trying to keep you at home, maybe you should just go along with it, and laugh it off. Like if they laugh about your hair, just say well i prefer mine to yours, etc. Just answer back, if they get snotty then ignore it, it can't make the situation worse :smile:

Reply 13

kookie_4

OP

1

nope i dont have a cellar or garage we have a loft but thats my older brothers. weve got a shed?? but i dont think itll be great in thw winter with all the coldness and stuff plus theres loadsa bugs in there that might crawl on my face.

Reply 14

kookie_4

OP

1

oops dam refresh button got me confused sorry for posting the same message again! and mates at school have told me that the girls they hang around with think im handsome/hot so ive got no problem with looks its just the hair that doesnt get on with my parents. is there anything i can say to them to stop them forcing me to cut it?

Reply 15

unfinished sympathy

15

kookie_4

oops dam refresh button got me confused sorry for posting the same message again! and mates at school have told me that the girls they hang around with think im handsome/hot so ive got no problem with looks its just the hair that doesnt get on with my parents. is there anything i can say to them to stop them forcing me to cut it?

say i'll go and get it cut! then go and have a trim, you've done as they say, just in your own way

Reply 16

kookie_4

OP

1

wow it even ryhmes!

Reply 17

Misogynist

18

Get your hair cut, Get a job. That'll teach them.

Reply 18

unfinished sympathy

15

kookie_4

wow it even ryhmes!

so it must work then!

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

Hey, I'm in exactly the same situation. I'm gonna be going off to college in three months, but I am not sure I will last. I feel for you, mate, because I know that your parents aren't probably joking and it doesn't look like they are anywhere near liking you. At least that's the case with mine. I don't know what to do myself...

Are my parents damaging my confidence and me mentally?

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