Feeling really upset at Uni

I have only been at University for a couple of days (I know what your thinking, I haven't given it a chance) but I really don't like it. I thought it was going to be an amazing social experience where I would meet loads of new people and have really good times with my flat mates. The problem is, there are only four of us in the flat, compared to other flats which have 5 or 6 people, we are also all quite different and so therefore don't really talk that much. I have met a group from a few flats up from me and they all seem nice and said I can go out with them, but I feel like I am tagging along a little bit as they are all living together and get on great. I also find myself being really upset during the day as I feel really lonely, i haven't had any inductions or anything yet and feel like I have been spending long periods of time sat in my room by myself crying. Probably the worst part is that I have been feeling really homesick, its just me and my mum that live at home and we have been through a lot and are therefore really close and I miss her more than I thought I would. I'm not the most confident person and sometimes find it hard to make friends, although I am always nice and will talk to people. At the minute I can't see myself enjoying the Uni experience and am thinking about leaving, getting a job for a year and then maybe going to Uni at home and commuting. Any advice would be much appreciated

Reply 1

TheMoho

You've only been at uni for a couple of days, just give it a little more time and hopefully you'll get used to the environment as well as meeting new people. And also make use of the fact that we have so much technology these days, so give your mum a call or Facetime her or something and then you won't feel so far away from home... stay strong

Reply 2

moonkatt

This isn't the first thread I've seen on this issue today. You've been there a couple of days. Contrary to what people think, university isn't some endless party where everyone is best mates and lifelong buddies. Give it a bit of time, get to know people on your course as it's more likely they'll have similar interests to you making it more likely you'll get along. The same goes for homesickness, if you've not experienced being away from home before it's going to be a bit weird for you, however we're well connected these days, there's mobile phones, social networks or even skype, so home is never that far away. In a few weeks time you'll be looking back on how you felt now wondering why you ever did.

Reply 3

Jackal The

Most people don't end up in flats that are ideal for them because it's all up to luck in terms of how compatible your flatmates are with you. Regardless, it's rare that the group you end up with (which most people don't find until the next term) are going to be made of people you live with; it's generally a mixture of course and societies. People who don't like their home-life that much or have felt a bit 'trapped' living with their families generally aren't going to feel as homesick as you because you only lived with your mother, and you guys were close anyways, so it probably wasn't a matter of getting away or finding much new independence as with most other students (at least that's how I felt; I also lived only with mother in the years prior to university.) Just give it until Christmas, and if you're still desperately unhappy then you should look over your options.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

cape_cod_kwassa_kwassa

Everyone hopes that they will be put with a group of people who instantly get on with each other like a house on fire but the reality is that this isn't always the case!

You have to keep the faith, you are in a situation which you won't have experienced before... away from home, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, in an alien part of the country... but with time things will start to click.

You say you are "always nice and will talk to people" and this is why you will have absolutely no problems when these initial awkward early stages are out of the way. You might not have all that much in common with your housemates but who is to say that the very next person you meet outside of your house will not one day become one of your best mates?

Its all about keeping a positive frame of mind, keep smiling, talking to new people and trying new things, and you will look back at this in years to come and feel a lot of self-pride.