help im almost in tears!!!!!!

hay eveyone well i kinda have a problem and im hoping i can get your help!!!
:smile:

well this is how it is, i have a bf who is very much in love with me and i am too, but the only problem is that he is realted to my sister-in-laws side of the family and in my culture that is not good :mad:

i asked my sister-in-law about us and she said a big NO, well he asked me weather i would leave my family for him i dont know what to say!!!!!!
i love him but i love my family too and if i say no he might do something really silly and he happenes to be the only son in his family!!!!!!!! and it woulnt be the truth
please :tsr2:

members i need help!!!!!!!!!!! my heads spinning with different crazy ideas, what should i say!!!!

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

say you dont know and question him about why he would want you to do that etc. till you get your head sorted

Reply 2

Rafa

2

sukhi31

hay eveyone well i kinda have a problem and im hoping i can get your help!!!
:smile:

well this is how it is, i have a bf who is very much in love with me and i am too, but the only problem is that he is realted to my sister-in-laws side of the family and in my culture that is not good :mad:

i asked my sister-in-law about us and she said a big NO, well he asked me weather i would leave my family for him i dont know what to say!!!!!!
i love him but i love my family too and if i say no he might do something really silly and he happenes to be the only son in his family!!!!!!!! and it woulnt be the truth
please :tsr2:

members i need help!!!!!!!!!!! my heads spinning with different crazy ideas, what should i say!!!!

i was in the same situation a month ago...and me and my ex decided to go our seperate ways when things where getting really serious...i couldnt bare the thought of making her choose between me and her family...i miss her like crazy! :frown:

Reply 3

dh00001

16

well what relation is he to you, this would determine how legal etc it is.
hes not a blood relation so theres no real implecations other than what it would do to your family.
IMO you probably should end it

Reply 4

alisama

1

fight the family! do what u want to do!

though it really depends how strongly u feel i bet him i guess. he could be the one..

Reply 5

Rafa

2

hang on a minute...your 15???...i dont think you should be thinking about getting serious with this guy honestly....

Reply 6

generalebriety

16

"Related to my sister-in-law's side of the family" doesn't exactly sound like you're siblings, does it? Get together with this guy and **** everyone else. Clearly you want to do it so don't let your sister-in-law get in the way of that.

Reply 7

unfinished sympathy

15

#2(Laika)

i was in the same situation a month ago...and me and my ex decided to go our seperate ways when things where getting really serious...i couldnt bare the thought of making her choose between me and her family...i miss her like crazy! :frown:

aww!

that's sad

Reply 8

unfinished sympathy

15

generalebriety

"Related to my sister-in-law's side of the family" doesn't exactly sound like you're siblings, does it? Get together with this guy and **** everyone else. Clearly you want to do it so don't let your sister-in-law get in the way of that.

yeah but you can't dismiss family, although it doesn't sound as though they are siblings, but still family is important

Reply 9

Rafa

2

unfinished sympathy

aww!

that's sad

yeh...lifes a bit unfair sometimes...you just gotta get on with it i supopose....

Reply 10

Vetinari

8

The reason why 'your culture' developed that attitude was clearly to avoid incest, and some people have just gone overboard. What would your family do if you didn't stop seeing him? To be honest, I can't see much reason why you would need to leave either your boyfriend OR your family. Why bend to such stupid rules?

Reply 11

alisama

1

Vetinari

The reason why 'your culture' developed that attitude was clearly to avoid incest, and some people have just gone overboard. What would your family do if you didn't stop seeing him? To be honest, I can't see much reason why you would need to leave either your boyfriend OR your family. Why bend to such stupid rules?

her family might behead her!! (and then she'll go to hell obv.)

Reply 12

unfinished sympathy

15

#2(Laika)

yeh...lifes a bit unfair sometimes...you just gotta get on with it i supopose....

yeah but it's still a shame :frown:

Reply 13

Rafa

2

unfinished sympathy

yeah but it's still a shame :frown:

yeh definitely...she was the only bit of happiness in my life aswell...so cruel life is!

Reply 14

unfinished sympathy

15

#2(Laika)

yeh definitely...she was the only bit of happiness in my life aswell...so cruel life is!

ohh you're making it worse! :frown:

*starts sobbing* can't you get back together with her?

Reply 15

Vetinari

8

alisama

her family might behead her!! (and then she'll go to hell obv.)

Yah... ummm.. I think if your family would really react THAT badly to something like this, then it's time to be packing your bags anyway.

Reply 16

Rafa

2

unfinished sympathy

ohh you're making it worse! :frown:

*starts sobbing* can't you get back together with her?

im sorry...as much as id love to get back with her...her family would never accept me...its the whole asians only marry asians thing...all a bit hopeless...i could probably get back with her...but that would only mean dragging her away from her family..something which i could never do...her whole family would resent her if she chose to be with me....god i sound like a charity case now dont i?....

Reply 17

unfinished sympathy

15

#2(Laika)

im sorry...as much as id love to get back with her...her family would never accept me...its the whole asians only marry asians thing...all a bit hopeless...i could probably get back with her...but that would only mean dragging her away from her family..something which i could never do...her whole family would resent her if she chose to be with me....god i sound like a charity case now dont i?....

no! you don't.

Reply 18

unfinished sympathy

15

#2(Laika)

im sorry...as much as id love to get back with her...her family would never accept me...its the whole asians only marry asians thing...all a bit hopeless...i could probably get back with her...but that would only mean dragging her away from her family..something which i could never do...her whole family would resent her if she chose to be with me....god i sound like a charity case now dont i?....

no! you don't, that's what makes it worse.

Reply 19

Vetinari

8

#2(Laika)

im sorry...as much as id love to get back with her...her family would never accept me...its the whole asians only marry asians thing...all a bit hopeless...i could probably get back with her...but that would only mean dragging her away from her family..something which i could never do...her whole family would resent her if she chose to be with me....god i sound like a charity case now dont i?....

You must fight this stupidity and intolerance! Fight it, and have lots of babies along the way!!

help im almost in tears!!!!!!

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