being friends with ur ex!

Is it possible do you think to be friends with your ex-boyfriend. The thing is we work together in the same enviornment and so far it's been pretty akward.

I don't know if I should make the first move or wait for him to do something :confused:

Also, we havent seen eachother for awhile and I must say that I am attracted to him again...deeply :frown:

Ughhhh....we broke up for mutual reasons and mainly due to our young age

any advice would be helpful :redface:

thanks in advance

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Reply 1

Nutter

If the breakup was mutual and on a fairly positive note, then I don't see why not? Seems perfectly appropriate and normal for the two of you to be good friends stilll; just not officially attached to each other.

And that attraction of yours, umm, think ten times before it - learn from history before it bites you back.

Reply 2

1013

NO! You cannot be friends with an ex unless you are both totally over it and wouldn't be affected if the other person started seeing someone else. Even then, it can be tricky.

Reply 3

pumpkin7

it doesn't normally work, which i know can be hard, but you will get over it eventually. time heals all wounds.. =)

Reply 4

username47781

If your still attracted to your ex then it's kinda hard to be just friends.

Reply 5

crazy4dancin

Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was once friends with an ex and he spent the whole time being nasty to me. My most recent ex said something about being friends and I said no because I still have feelings for him and I kinda hate him too lolxx

Reply 6

superstar1472

Ah I was in the same situation as you. Me and my ex boyfriend work together too, and our split was fairly amicable, however, the problem with being friends was the fact that I (mainly) still had feelings for him. That's the thing u've got to remember.... you have to be just friends and nothing else, unless u both actually want to get back together.

Because of the fact that I still liked him, it meant that I wasn't trually over him and on work nights out and stuff... I fell back into his arms again, for him to be uninterested the next day.

So, my advice is.... okay u have to work with him, just maintain a friendly relationship with him (like i do with my ex) and remember that you both split for a reason.

Now, I'm happy in a new relationship and wouldn't even dream of going near him on a work night out etc. We're both so comfortable with each other that we talk about our new relationships and are genuinely pleased for one another. It will take time and effort, but once you've got used to working with each other and fully get over your feelings for him, you will be able to be great friends

Reply 7

so_this_is_sam

it definitely takes time, its taken me a year to be able to be friends with one of my exes just because there was always some sexual chemistry between us and things always ended up happening! but now even tho we arent amazing friends, we still talk a lot and about new relationships etc, so its all good now. it CAN work, but only when you are BOTH over each other

Reply 8

username30638

Depends on the circumstances really. It can be very difficult to remain friends if you still have feelings for them, especially if they have started seeing other people.

I was more than happy to be friends with my last girlfriend, as we split up mutually and on good terms. But for some reason she has pretty much blanked me ever since, and has been slowly working her way through all of my best friends.

So now I couldn't really care less about her. :cool:

Reply 9

zav

Anonymous

Also, we havent seen eachother for awhile and I must say that I am attracted to him again...deeply :frown:

Ughhhh....we broke up for mutual reasons and mainly due to our young age

any advice would be helpful :redface:

thanks in advance

Nothing wrong with giving it a go.

I have been friends with people after sex

I would still want to be friends

You will prob be attracted to him as you went out its not a barrier. Since youy are prob attracted to other people does not stop you being friends

Reply 10

Enchanté

I am still friends with one but there no chance we'll have the same feelings for each other again, we've moved on.
By what your saying i'm sure you still be friends :smile:

just build it up again :smile:

Reply 11

WorkHouse

you can try, it took ages for my ex to even speak to me after our break up, which was a shame... we had a lot in common and i always had things i wanted to tell him - like little stories i'd heard, humourous things i'd thought he'd appreciate and stuff (nothing emotional). But i couldn't cos he didn't want to speak to me... When he finally did decide to talk to me we decided to be mates (to much disgust of his new g/f)... we talk about the same stuff we did before we got together,but even so it's not the same...

so what i'm saying is, you can only be friends if your both mutually emotionally repaired after the break up... and if you were friends before - don't expect it to be the same.

Reply 12

1013

zav

Nothing wrong with giving it a go.

I have been friends with people after sex

I would still want to be friends

Friends after sex is not the same as friends with an ex, where there were actual feelings involved!

Reply 13

WorkHouse

1013

Friends after sex is not the same as friends with an ex!

I'm sure that was a line on "Sex and the City"

Reply 14

Phoenixs

It all depends on the circumstances. If you break up with someone, one partner almost always has more feelings for the other, which leads to jealousy and hate etc. I have had a quite happy relationship for 7 months, but we just broke up few days ago becuase she had to move away to another country with her parents for university and I am moving away soon. Over the distance of 10 000km, it is not really possible to keep the relationship, although we loved each other, had lots in common and stuff. It will take maybe months for me to get over it, but then again, we have promised we will remain best friends. We might or might not see each other ever again, but I look at it as a happy although forced ending and am quiite happy that we can stay best friends. Ok thats enough of me babling around,as for you it doesnt seem that your ex boyfriends has feelings for you, I will say the most obvious but TALK TO HIM. Say that you still have feelings for him and see what he says. If he you might try getting together, but dont make the same mistake. Its ok to make a mistake, but its stupid to make the same mistake twice. The best solution to me would be that you avoid any sort of contact with him for 2-3 months or as long as it takes, start having fun, friends, parties etc. and maybe after you dont have feelings for him get together as FRIENDS. However its easy to say, but feelings are always stronger than logic, trust me I made the same mistake and it ended very bad. Ask yourself if it is worth taking the risk of possibly hating each other for the rest of the life (if you live close to each other and have common friends this SUCKS) or if you want to take the safe road and remain good friends, in that case isolation is the best thing to do, maybe tell him that you need to forget about him and have a deal that no one contacts the other for 3 months no matter what.... Hope this helped a bit.

Peace

Reply 15

zav

No but i also don't believe there is a problem with that either.

Im friends with my last ex, no problems

Reply 16

Groovy chick

I'm friends with my ex, and it doesn't seem to pose any problem at all.

We get on really well, and are really good friends.

Reply 17

zav

Groovy chick

I'm friends with my ex, and it doesn't seem to pose any problem at all.

We get on really well, and are really good friends.

Your prob just both mature about it like you should be

Reply 18

Twiglet

Give it a go, but I guess it will probably take time, pretty tricky having to work with each other so soon after tho, Im sure u'll work something out :smile:

Reply 19

Groovy chick

zav

Your prob just both mature about it like you should be