Bad 21st Birthdays?

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IlexBlue
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Hey all. I recently had my 21st, and... it didn't go so well. I don't really want to talk about it, suffice to say I spent most of the day feeling sick or crying, and having the one day that should be about me being controlled by ****ing family members I'm struggling to even like anymore. Didn't get to have a celebration with friends, either.

Maybe irrationally, I feel really depressed over this, because 21 is supposed to be this huge milestone where everyone does something really memorable and has an amazing time, but it turned out this way. My past few birthdays (including my 18th) weren't anything big either, because I wasn't well. I feel upset that I'm officially an adult with my milestone birthdays behind me for a while and that's always going to be my memory of it. I guess it's a little whiny of me, but life in general hasn't been good lately.

So I'm looking for a little comfort. Anyone have any 21st birthday stories that didn't quite go how they'd planned? :emo:
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Apocrypha
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If i was 21 id tell you all about mine, but normally when my birthday comes i spend the actual day and night with friends, my parents are divorced so i dont really even get a family party thing at all for my birthdays whenever they happen. Perhaps i could say, your lucky youre family celebrates your birthday? I stopped getting cakes when i was 14 lol..
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DorianGrayism
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At my friends 21st... My brother tried to beat up his cousin and then got screamed at by his mum

Then we both got kicked out and the party ended.
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DorianGrayism
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Another one was my friends ex.

She started drinking at midday

She then went clubbing and started grinding with a random guy in front of my friend.

At the end of the night, she was really drunk and she went to the toilet and crapped her pants in the club.

She went back by taxi and my mate broke up with her the next day.
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IlexBlue
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(Original post by Apocrypha)
If i was 21 id tell you all about mine, but normally when my birthday comes i spend the actual day and night with friends, my parents are divorced so i dont really even get a family party thing at all for my birthdays whenever they happen. Perhaps i could say, your lucky youre family celebrates your birthday? I stopped getting cakes when i was 14 lol..
That would probably actually be preferable to me. Mum aside, my family are pretty unloving, controlling and manipulative, to be honest. I was basically coerced into having my birthday their way. I have a lot of personal issues from growing up around them.

That's awful none of your family don't do anything for it, though! Have a cake from me. :cake:



(Original post by DorianGrayism)
Another one was my friends ex.

She started drinking at midday

She then went clubbing and started grinding with a random guy in front of my friend.

At the end of the night, she was really drunk and she went to the toilet and crapped her pants in the club.

She went back by taxi and my mate broke up with her the next day.
Oh my god, I do feel a little better hearing that. :lol: Poor girl!
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Apocrypha
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(Original post by IlexBlue)
That would probably actually be preferable to me. Mum aside, my family are pretty unloving, controlling and manipulative, to be honest. I was basically coerced into having my birthday their way. I have a lot of personal issues from growing up around them.

That's awful none of your family don't do anything for it, though! Have a cake from me. :cake:





Oh my god, I do feel a little better hearing that. :lol: Poor girl!
Have you ever thought about just saying no to it all then? It'd be a sign of independence if you do your own thing, next time just be like, listen i dont want anything big for my birthday, im 22 and i can make my own decisions, then just say yuoll be fine with a card and a small present and there you go


Maybe you just need to move out and spread those wings, you not going to uni?
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LolaLowe
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Choose a day, arrange an amazing time doing whatever you want to do with your favourite peeps, and go and have a good time! Forget the one day that didnt go well, you can celebrate your 21st on any day you like! My birthday is 25/12 so I have never done big parties etc on the actual day itself, I've just picked a day on which to celebrate and done it then....have they been any the worse for not being on a specific day? Hell no! Call it your 21st, get out and have yourself some fun and forget about the other thing, we all have the odd bad day, dont spend your life miserable about a bad day falling on a specific day. Enjoy!
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sr90
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(Original post by IlexBlue)
So I'm looking for a little comfort. Anyone have any 21st birthday stories that didn't quite go how they'd planned? :emo:
I spent my 21st working all day, before coming home to an empty house.

I later found out that my group of friends had planned in secret to come back and go out for it but for various reasons they couldn't go. It was still a nice gesture though. My birthday is always in the Easter holidays which is **** as everyone goes away, I don't ever bring up wanting to do anything as it feels a bit needy.
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username447608
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Im 21 in 3 months but im not doing anything for it because ive seen so many 21st go wrong. A lot of people do big parties for their 21st but end up inviting lots of people who they are not so close to purely for number. I know one girl who hired out a posh hotel was doing black tie she invited about 200 people and on the night only 50 turned up. She was clearly gutted but people just didn't turn up or cancelled last minute.. I know with some of my friends they agree to go to 21sts as they have 'nothing to do that night' and if something better happens or they don't feel like it they just bail.

I don't have enough people im close enough to warrant spending money or trust that they would turn up to my party. If I had a party and nobody showed id be heart broken. Instead im just going to a horse show in London for the day with my mum and then a takeaway that night and bed!
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Jackal The
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Yep, my 21st was earlier this month and it was pretty terrible. Not even in an amusing "this will make a good story one day" type of terrible, it was just extremely dull, I felt physically unwell, and got into an argument with a family member who said a few personal things which hurt me. Like you, I wasn't feeling happy with life beforehand which didn't help. However, it doesn't bother me at all because in it really is just one day - there's going to plenty of fantastic ones that you'll remember years down the line with fondness. Unfortunately that just wasn't one of them, is all.

Besides, when you're in your thirties you'll probably laugh your arse off at the thought that twenty-one is considered "officially an adult" - for the majority, this just isn't true.
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Stylo92
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Cousin had a 21st party and only family turned up. She was obviously gutted
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10634
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My birthday was a day or two after Hurricane Irene had ended; a lot of streets were closed, power was out, and I was stuck inside. I had to cancel my dinner plans and reschedule, but half of the people couldn't come.
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username1277215
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Not 21 yet, but on my 19th birthday my whole family forgot about it ahaha. I had to mention it by saying: "Erm, guys what is today's date?" and they still didn't remember until I told them
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Steezy
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I can honestly tell you as a 25 year old, your 21st birthday really isn't a big deal.

I went clubbing for mine which I probably was desperate to do at the time but looking back, my best nights ever have been completely random, usually un-birthday related.

So don't worry, just enjoy yourself spontaneously.
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lightburns
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I had exams.
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Airfairy
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I TOTALLY understand! Mine was a month ago and I spent it in A&E had to cancel my meal planned, and my holiday away, and I have been bedridden ever since. So so far, I've spent every day of being 21 in bed. It's been awful, but I keep telling myself I'll have a bad ass 22nd to take up for it. I know how bad it feels though. I try not to think about everything I've missed out of from being sick, otherwise I get very depressed.
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