My straight crush has gotten fatter and a deeper voice

Hi

My straight best friend, who I've had a huge crush on (I'm gay), I've noticed (from looking at a picture) he's gotten slightly fatter recently, and I just spoke on the phone to him and his voice has also changed. So I feel like I'm not that attracted to him anymore. This is not necessarily a bad thing cause he's straight and it's not gonna happen. But I still feel really bad because well.. I still love him and I feel bad that I seem to have an "issue" with him having gained weight/deeper voice. I feel like I'm betraying him. I never want to be shallow but I can't help feeling sad about this.

It is a weird feeling. Just to clarify he's not fat at all. It just seems like he hasn't taken good care of his body like he used to

I dunno why I'm posting this. I just feel sad because he is the most beautiful person in the world and I don't want him to lose that.

Aww you're cute.

Don't worry people change both you and him and now you don't necessarily fancy him it's no biggy but you'll always be his friend so it's fine.

Try not to over think things...

Aww you're cute.

Don't worry people change both you and him and now you don't necessarily fancy him it's no biggy but you'll always be his friend so it's fine.

Try not to over think things...

You're a very shallow individual.

Why do some girls find everything gay men say "cute"? If it was a straight guy talking about a woman he'd be called anything but...

aw thanks for your advice.





I already said that I don't want to feel so shallow about it. I can't help what I feel, I think if you were in my position it is not unthinkable that you might also feel the same way. I'm only asking about how I get over it, not trying to make it seem as if it's good to feel this way

aw thanks for your advice.

I already said that I don't want to feel so shallow about it. I can't help what I feel, I think if you were in my position it is not unthinkable that you might also feel the same way. I'm only asking about how I get over it, not trying to make it seem as if it's good to feel this way

Hi

My straight best friend, who I've had a huge crush on (I'm gay), I've noticed (from looking at a picture) he's gotten slightly fatter recently, and I just spoke on the phone to him and his voice has also changed. So I feel like I'm not that attracted to him anymore. This is not necessarily a bad thing cause he's straight and it's not gonna happen. But I still feel really bad because well.. I still love him and I feel bad that I seem to have an "issue" with him having gained weight/deeper voice. I feel like I'm betraying him. I never want to be shallow but I can't help feeling sad about this.

It is a weird feeling. Just to clarify he's not fat at all. It just seems like he hasn't taken good care of his body like he used to

I dunno why I'm posting this. I just feel sad because he is the most beautiful person in the world and I don't want him to lose that.

But didn't you had a crush on his body rather than him as an individual?

Shouldn't you be relieved? If you were genuinely in love with him, that wouldn't have changed, and it would have been all the more painful for you. Since it's turned out to be just a physical attraction, isn't that easier?

All right, it might be a little shallow, but as long as it doesn't change how you view him or how much you care about him as a friend, it's hardly a big deal. If you think he's a truly beautiful person then something trivial like that shouldn't really interfere with it.

I don't really see what the problem is here, you don't fancy him anymore and he doesn't fancy you...why do you seem to want to like him?

How are betraying him? You're over thinking this a bit.

I'm not having a go at you, just pointing out this hypocritical attitude some women have towards gay men. I don't really know what you're on about, I like it when I'm less attracted to female friends (as I've got a girlfriend), makes it less complicated. My best female friend actually said how nice it was to make a close make friend who didn't start declaring his love for her.

I'm with the people who found this moving! It was ages ago when I read it but I'm sure Stephen Fry had a similar experience at your age and wrote about it his first autobiography.

It's not a gay thing either: I once had an obsessive crush on a girl where it was never going to happen. One day she walked into school with her hair dyed and for whatever reason the spell got broken. Which was a practical relief, but also sad. 'Sad' isn't quite the right word but I don't know what is - I bet the Germans have the perfect expression for it.

No I had a crush on everything about him. I doubt I'd be in love with him for just his body.


Haha yeah I should be relieved. No I am genuinely in love with him, for the last 5 years. Maybe if I was in a relationship with him I wouldn't care about it. I dunno I just feel confused about everything.


yeah I probably am overthinking it. I just feel like it's unjust for me to not appreciate everything about him anymore. I don't even know.


It's alright for you since you have a girlfriend. I'm all alone.



Heh I know exactly what you mean. I guess a longing for the days when we were blissfully in love with someone perfect and how happy we were.

Why do some girls find everything gay men say "cute"? If it was a straight guy talking about a woman he'd be called anything but...

Did you read his post he's engaging his conscience...

If he came out with yeah I just don't fancy him anymore cos he's fat and horrendous and it's all made me forget that he's my friend... bye old fat friend

Then...he as another person would probably rightly get shouted at because he'd be completely disregarding his friends feelings and the fact that no matter how fat, thin etc his friend is he'll always be his friend underneath the changes...

Yeah, read it back but change the words so it's a straight guy talking about his female friend. Honestly, there's no way you'd call him "cute". I mean straight guys usually get insulted on her if they comment on the weight of girls they are/want to be in a relationship with, let alone girls that are their friends!

Because he's up front about being shallow, and says he feels bad about him, I didn't say anything bad about it, I only mentioned your hypocrisy. I don't think being aware of being very shallow and superficial is "cute" though. But we've all got flaws and at least he is open about his.

If you want to have a go at certain peoples attitudes on TSR, then you can, but don't have a go at ebony-19 just because you have a chip on your shoulder. The OP is nothing like the usual post where guys say "how do I dump a girl because she just got fat". Get a grip man and stop derailing the thread, there's a time and place for that and this isn't it.

And how exactly is ebony being hypocritical? If you can find a quote where she replies to a similar thread started by a straight guy and calls him horrible, then you can say she's hypocritical. Otherwise you're just ranting at her for absolutely no reason.