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Double Standards - Broken promise
Ok basically my girlfriend at the beggining of the relationship and well for the first 8 months or so, was like you can cheat and I wouldnt dump you. (probably not the best thing to say but she said it). Anyway I promised her I wouldnt cheat, because of course I wont (and havnt and wont for the record). And the other day (a month ago) we were talking and basically she said now she would leave me, but not because I was cheating but because I broke my word. Ok thats fine with me...
Anyway basically April this year she randomly (no pressure from me) told me she wasnt seeing this guy again ever (and promised) because she knew it made me stressed. (This guy being her ex who she cheated on me with, and left me for him after a while, but came back a week later.)
Then here is what happened (in order as much as I can remember). I asked her if she had texted him or anything recently because his MSN name said "john and sandy - bet u never thought ud hear that again" (fictional names), she said no and offered me her phone to check. I did and saw tonnes of texts on there. One that disturbed me the most was
"I love you, n miss u 2"... suggests she said something to him there. Anyway I let it slide although not being to happy as you can imagine. 3 weeks ago, she was in the shower and her phone rang and I picked up for her, and before I could say hi or anything it was "him" and he said we still on for coffee. I discussed this with my girlfriend and apparantly she didnt know what he was talking about.
Last week, she is in town and "accidently" bumps into him. Coincidence huh? And then today I asked her if there had been any contact, because I was having a bad feeling. She said yes. I then talked to her about the fact that she would dump me for not keeping my word, should I do the same? She of course said no. To me this is double standards and has really upset me.
Can I have some advise on what to do? Leave? Stay?
What makes it worse is that she doesnt want to talk about it until after next week thursday (after exams) even though this is bugging me now, and her telling me to keep shutting up is not helping at all....
HELP TSR PLEASE!!!!
Anyway basically April this year she randomly (no pressure from me) told me she wasnt seeing this guy again ever (and promised) because she knew it made me stressed. (This guy being her ex who she cheated on me with, and left me for him after a while, but came back a week later.)
Then here is what happened (in order as much as I can remember). I asked her if she had texted him or anything recently because his MSN name said "john and sandy - bet u never thought ud hear that again" (fictional names), she said no and offered me her phone to check. I did and saw tonnes of texts on there. One that disturbed me the most was
"I love you, n miss u 2"... suggests she said something to him there. Anyway I let it slide although not being to happy as you can imagine. 3 weeks ago, she was in the shower and her phone rang and I picked up for her, and before I could say hi or anything it was "him" and he said we still on for coffee. I discussed this with my girlfriend and apparantly she didnt know what he was talking about.
Last week, she is in town and "accidently" bumps into him. Coincidence huh? And then today I asked her if there had been any contact, because I was having a bad feeling. She said yes. I then talked to her about the fact that she would dump me for not keeping my word, should I do the same? She of course said no. To me this is double standards and has really upset me.
Can I have some advise on what to do? Leave? Stay?
What makes it worse is that she doesnt want to talk about it until after next week thursday (after exams) even though this is bugging me now, and her telling me to keep shutting up is not helping at all....
HELP TSR PLEASE!!!!Scroll to see replies
Ignore it. Blank everything out of your mind (apart from useful stuff, like how to open doors). Sit your exams.
Then dump her.
Then dump her.
kizer
Definitely NOT true.
But OP are you a troll? I mean it is just so obvious that you should dump her, it's crazy you are even asking.
But OP are you a troll? I mean it is just so obvious that you should dump her, it's crazy you are even asking.
Dont think im a troll.... havnt really checked recently.
See I think its kinda obvious what I have to do, but the hard thing is that I LOVE HER, which just about complicates EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!
Ditch her she is using you shes cheating on you, why she bothered going out with you i don't know she sounds like a right cow, she's a waste of time.
See I think its kinda obvious what I have to do, but the hard thing is that I LOVE HER, which just about complicates EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!
What you have to think about is, yes it's going to break your heart now if you split up because, as you've said, you love her, but will it hurt you more if you don't end it now and find out in a couple months time that she's been cheating on you with him for the past X months?
If she loves you, she wouldn't be keeping contact with this guy knowing full well that it upsets you, end it and go and find someone that will treat you right
I know im not a perfect person but you seem like a nice guy and she is messing you around.
Tell her you don't want to carry on as you can't trust her. Be honest say you love her but say that you don't think that its going to work.
It true honest and i assume that it will be better for you to start again.
Good luck its not easy but it will be worth it.
Hope this helps
Tell her you don't want to carry on as you can't trust her. Be honest say you love her but say that you don't think that its going to work.
It true honest and i assume that it will be better for you to start again.
Good luck its not easy but it will be worth it.
Hope this helps
tiger_vio
Hang on, how did you break your word if you didn't cheat?
I didnt break my word... She broke hers.
Thanks for the advise guys. This isnt going to be easy at all... and I guess ill wait to the end of the exams... celebrated by my party
. So guess I will once again wait till after that party. So now I haev pretty much a week to think about how I am going to do it ...zav
Nah tell her before the party so you can have the party and celebrate and try and forget.
Its not out of line as she is the person who ruined the realtionship, be a bit selfish and do whats best for you, your allowed considering what she has done.
Its not out of line as she is the person who ruined the realtionship, be a bit selfish and do whats best for you, your allowed considering what she has done.
I have a feeling if I ask her before my party i will go on a downer... not the best thing to do before you get drunk
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