The Student Room Group

How do i chat up a girl?

ok so im not so scared to go up to a girl in a bar and ask her if she wants a drink, where is she from etc. but i want to know what to say after that? Like how do i keep the convo flowing, i get kinda nervous and HATE awkward silence moments, but it seems to happen alot around me. I want to be funny, but im not naturally funny person, how can i make her laugh, what do i say? no chat up lines i know, i should compliment her ok.. help pls:biggrin:

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Reply 1
right simple don't use chat up lines, drop a few compliments and BE YOURSELF it sounds cheesy and clique but it works, thats how I got with mine, oh and it helps if you are direct, not so direct as I wan to rip of your clothes and have raunchy sex with you unitll the wee hours, but stuff like hi do you want a drink, whats your poison,hi im x and let it go from there, oh and have fun if you don't enjoy it its not working.
Reply 2
I dont have the confidence to chat a girl up, just make friends at work with people and soon you will find one that you get on extremly well with and maybe progress onto girlfriend and boyfriend.
Chat up lines are a total no no. Don't see her as a potential romantic interest, just as a potential friend. Ask her questions about what she does, whether she works full-time or is at school or uni. Tell her about what you do. Talk to her about your friends, family, holidays, what you like to do in your spare time, or anything you like, really. If you're not sure what to say, just keep asking her questions and take your lead from her.

You should also keep an eye on your body language. Don't hunch as though you are scared of rejection. Don't be afraid to look her in the eye, but at the same time, don't do it for long periods of time, because staring can unnerve people. The best thing is to look her in the eye for most of the time she's talking, and when you're talking, look at her, look round the room, gesticulate, just basically be enthusiastic and animated about what you're saying. Be lighthearted, rather than too intense.

Definitely be yourself. Don't pretend to be someone you're not, but recognise that you are interesting and worth talking to as you are. If she doesn't like the person you are, there's no point trying to impress her.
WHY? WHY? WHY? I dont understand what is wrong with most guys these days. You think you have succeded because the girl kindly let you buy her a drink! Of course shes going to let you buy her a drink, just like every other guy in the bar!

When will you learn that buying a girl a drink is pointless and if anything will make her think less of you!

Just go up to the girl and talk to her like you know her, dont attempt to sell yourself to her by bragging, just have fun.
Just practice chatting her down and then try it in reverse.
Buying her a drink is a good idea. It is the 'I'm interested' part of the ritual.
PrinceOfCats
Just practice chatting her down and then try it in reverse.

:toofunny:

I am partly in agreement that the drink thing is pointless. Of course buy her a drink but don't just walk up to her and say "can I buy you a drink?" because of course she's going to say yes... hey, free drink. Then she may well walk off. Get talking first. To do that, well, open your mouth and speak. See her as a friend you haven't got to know properly yet. Ask where she's from, what she likes doing, and stuff like that. No big flattery, no clichés, no chat-up lines, no bragging... but then don't just start chatting as if you're best mates, or going silent and waiting for her to speak. After that, it's up to you what you say. Be natural. Act the way you would while making friends.
I am f and I would not accept a drink from someone unless I wanted to give them a chance. It gives men the wrong idea, and unless she's the slag in the corner with the mini skirt and the low cut top clearly flirting for as many free drinks as she can get, most other women wont either.
Anonymous
Buying her a drink is a good idea. It is the 'I'm interested' part of the ritual.


Then why not tell her you Love her? of course you wouldnt so why buy her a drink!

i have been clubbing a few times, freinds buy me drinks and i do try and reciprocate but i will not buy a drink for osme girl i do not know!

Drinks i have bought for girls- 0

Drinks bought for me by girls -1

guess that makes it 1-0 to me :p:
Reply 10
hey girls can u tell me what U would like to talk about? wud like like it if a random guy came up to u and started asking u where ur from, what u do , hows uni, hows life, what u do in ur spare time? sounds REALLY boring to be honest, what wud u think?
Its a bit flat, but it would just make him look shy rather than boring. Try talking about the music, if its a particular interest of yours or try and land upon something that interests her and talk about that.
Dont ask those kinda questions, its not an interveiw!
Reply 13
Don't offer to buy her a drink, as at this point she will not know you that well and may feel that if she is bought a drink by yourself she may be expected to wake up next to you. Hence.. lots of girls will refuse.

Just talk to whomever you like.. friendly conversation.. don't aim to go in for the kill.
Reply 14
well i dont have that much in common with most girls, i like talking about sports and hip hop mainly lol :biggrin: i can try talking about somethin they like but it will be mostly "yeah", "oh yeah i know", "oh", "haha yep".. looooooool u know?
Reply 15
any girls into rugby here ? :biggrin:
Reply 16
I think mr Anonymous, that your aims should be to build up a rapport.
Reply 17
tell her she's beautiful and if she wants to go out with you sometimes...be prepared to spend money
Reply 18
i find a fake french accent can really improve my chances. although, the magical ways of the tuna could be interfering for me to make a sound conclusion.
Ask her what her favourite pizza topping is.