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getting my girl back

hello all - wondering if you could help.

me and my girlfriend have been going out with each other for around a year an a half now. ive been at uni shes been at a local school, uni is very near both of our houses. for the past year ive been living in halls but i cycled to her house nearly everynight and eventually moved home because i missed out on the whole experience of being the 'fresher' as i was always with her.

when the time came for her to choose unis (starting this sept) she chose to come to my uni to stay with me. in the past few weeks i told her that i didnt think the relationship could work with her in halls as we'd have to change so much. its ended up arguments for the last few weeks and me getting dumped, which shocked me into realising it can work if we adapt and change, however now it seems shes lost love for me. shes agreed to try at it over the next few weeks but it seems that she wont let the feelings of loving me come back beacuse she doesnt want either of us to hurt if she wants to leave me in septemeber.

we're going on a holiday in few weeks - what can i do to make her love me again beacuse i know that shes special and dont want to lose her. how can i show her that it can work, and make her not be to scared to let her feelings come back?

thanks

Reply 1

Bubblebee

15

tip no 1: Don't call her special, I know not one single girl who appreciates being called 'special'.

Next, don't get all soppy over her. Chances are she is thinking she is having fun being out on her own for a bit and if you pressure her back into anything she will rebel. Just try and talk, more like mates than anything, but give her subtle hints you want her back. Touch her, cuddle her kiss her (if she lets you) let her find out what she is missing!

xxgoodluckxx

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Sorry I didnt mean to say shes special i meant to say what we had together was special, something that doesnt come around that often, and its all ending because i thought we couldnt work when now i see we can. its frustrating that i didn't see it then i hate to think its too late.

Reply 3

Bubblebee

15

Yeah I know, it's just that from my past experiences a clingy boyfriend is very downerish. Be romantic, be spontenous but don't make her feel like you would commit suicide if she ever left you.

What were you like when you first met? Try and recreate that feeling, what songs did you listen to, where did you go, all that stuff.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

she didnt mind the clingyness up until the whole 'moving into the halls' issue, ive said we can have more space because thats genuinely what i want too. i saw her tonite and we kissed and... but she stopped and i think it was beacuse she got feelings again and it stopped her beacuse shes scared about us both hurting in spetember if we have another great summer. i think thats on her mind, im giving her space im going away for a week. shes comming for a meal with my family tomorrow so shes making an effort i just think she scared of feelings comming back. she keeps saying she doesnt know what she wants.

Reply 5

Bubblebee

15

Well it's good you are still truly friends, are you sure that you couldn't live with just that?

Maybe backing off her for a while is the best thing while she is unsure of what to do, just make sure she knows how you feel without forcing her into a decison.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

we are trying to have space as a couple and trying to work again that way, we are trying as boyfriend and girlfriend and she will decide after we go on holiday if we can work she just doesnt seem open to loving me, she doesnt seem open beacuse she has september on her mind

thankyou your advice is helping

Reply 7

sahsum

13

If you had been going out for a year and a half and only split up a few weeks ago her feelings shouldn't have gone already surely?? Just act the way that made her fall in love with you in the first place. Most of all its probably best to just b ur natural stuff, and if she doesn't want it then maybe it is time to move on.

Reply 8

mal00

dont put too much pressure on her to meet up with u and stuff.. shell prob end up liking u again wiht time.. let her be to collect her thoughts

Reply 9

frappuccino

6

You can't really make a person love you....I think just be there when she wants to see you etc. and definitely don't be romantic even if you feel that way..She'll make up her own mind.

Reply 10

Phonicsdude

19

Have a good time with other women in front of her.

Reply 11

Bubblebee

15

Anonymous

we are trying to have space as a couple and trying to work again that way, we are trying as boyfriend and girlfriend and she will decide after we go on holiday if we can work she just doesnt seem open to loving me, she doesnt seem open beacuse she has september on her mind

thankyou your advice is helping

I know you are anonymous for a reason but if you want to PM me and talk then feel free!

Reply 12

Glory

1

Plus i dont think you should of told her not to come to your uni, may of given the impression your hiding something or someone from her. Im pretty sure she isnt going to the same uni, just for you. Especially since you broke up and shes still dead set on going.

I think you need to start again with her, from the beginning. Get to know each other before going head into a relationship. You may not be the same people you were when you started going out.

getting my girl back

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