The Student Room Group

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hes been straight with you so why not just do a friends with benefits thing. its rele good fun and you get to release all that sexual frustration without being tied down. best of both worlds imo. you can have lots of great sex and still go out and be single.
Reply 2
Unless you fall in love with him, and then id warn you to get ready to have your heart broken.
or if your the kind of person who regrets everything
Reply 4
thats a good point. hav a god time but dnt do it if u think ur gna see more into it, gota bcareful with these guys!!
There's a million threads on this already. Yes I've been in a casual relationship and they are great, especially if you end up with the person as your girlfriend/boyfriend.
Reply 6
A casual relationship only works if both people feel exactly the same. What he means is, he want to be able to pull / sleep with other people. If you are ok with this then go for it, but if you might get jealous then save yourself the hassle and don't see him.
Reply 7
Anonymous
what do u lot think. basically the guy i really like has told me hes not serious, basically he just wants a bit of fun. has anyone ever been in or in a casual relationship?


You really like him, and if you settle for being his "bit of fun" you'll be demeaning yourself and you'll end up really hurt. You should explore the reasons you have for believing that you are worth so little, that you're not worth being loved and cared for by someone who loves and cares for you.
Don't let immature people on here convince you that casual sexual relationships are anything but sordid.
Reply 8
A casual relationship is fun, but it might also end in heartbreak. LAter on maybe one of you would fall for the other. Or maybe that one would eventually find another partner....then the one thats left out would be jealous or heartbroken. You'd just have to be careful not to fall too deep into this.
guest999
You really like him, and if you settle for being his "bit of fun" you'll be demeaning yourself and you'll end up really hurt. You should explore the reasons you have for believing that you are worth so little, that you're not worth being loved and cared for by someone who loves and cares for you.
Don't let immature people on here convince you that casual sexual relationships are anything but sordid.


whats so bad about a casual relationship?
Reply 10
high priestess fnord
whats so bad about a casual relationship?


You'll figure it out when you get a bit older and realise that your behaviour and attitudes were manifestation of your self-hatred, and that men used you, and that you allowed them to use you sexually because you didn't believe that you were good enough to demand to be treated with respect. You'll look back in horror at the fact that you let men treat you like you were good for nothing but sex. I don't think you should encourage the OP to make your mistakes.
guest999
You'll figure it out when you get a bit older and realise that your behaviour and attitudes were manifestation of your self-hatred, and that men used you, and that you allowed them to use you sexually because you didn't believe that you were good enough to demand to be treated with respect. You'll look back in horror at the fact that you let men treat you like you were good for nothing but sex. I don't think you should encourage the OP to make your mistakes.


how old are you? 0_o

im denfinitely not self hating, never have been. i didnt allow anyone to use me, if anything i used them. if i wanted a real relationship i could have had one at any point. in fact i had to break things off with a few of them because i could see they wanted more and i didnt. if i could go back and do it again i would. i miss being single despite having a wonderful bf who treats me like a princess.

im not saying that the op should do what ive done because its a personal thing but if you go into it knowing it is what you want then why not?
Reply 12
guest999
You'll figure it out when you get a bit older and realise that your behaviour and attitudes were manifestation of your self-hatred, and that men used you, and that you allowed them to use you sexually because you didn't believe that you were good enough to demand to be treated with respect. You'll look back in horror at the fact that you let men treat you like you were good for nothing but sex. I don't think you should encourage the OP to make your mistakes.


Where did you get all that information from?? :confused:
guest999
You'll figure it out when you get a bit older and realise that your behaviour and attitudes were manifestation of your self-hatred, and that men used you, and that you allowed them to use you sexually because you didn't believe that you were good enough to demand to be treated with respect. You'll look back in horror at the fact that you let men treat you like you were good for nothing but sex. I don't think you should encourage the OP to make your mistakes.



are you taking the piss? sorry. my friend and I couldn't decide.
Reply 14
Girls can use guys as much as guys use girls. guest i wonder that maybe you are talking on personal experience?

This is not the same for everyone as high priestess fnord pointed out
zav
guest i wonder that maybe you are talking on personal experience?


i was wondering that too. is guest a self hating woman or a sexist man? couldnt work it out.
guest999
You really like him, and if you settle for being his "bit of fun" you'll be demeaning yourself and you'll end up really hurt. You should explore the reasons you have for believing that you are worth so little, that you're not worth being loved and cared for by someone who loves and cares for you.
Don't let immature people on here convince you that casual sexual relationships are anything but sordid.


To the OP
I think that's the keyword here. It seems that that's what you're having to do. Would you want to be his girlfriend if you could? If the answer is yes, then guest999 is totally right.
The fact is, you're not good enough to be his gf. That's the message to take out. If you can say the same thing about him, then all's well. Otherwise, yes you're just being an impressionable girl who's being had, quite frankly.

If you can settle for being good for enough for sex but not for a relationship, then go for it. People go on and on about how casual sex is fine and sure it is when you actually understand relationships in the first place. If you don't understand relationships (i.e. you fall for the usual "not ready for a relationship" crap), then you're setting yourself onto a nasty ride.

The only bad thing about the initial post is that it sounds like you're "settling" for crumbs when you actually want the whole cake.
Reply 17
They never work! Trust me! Unless the two people feel exactly the same! Usually one person has stronger feelings than the other and will get jealous. Just avoid altogether they're more hurt than they are worth!

Sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear. But, Honestly. I'm Speaking from experience.
Reply 18
high priestess fnord
i was wondering that too. is guest a self hating woman or a sexist man? couldnt work it out.


Self hating woman i hope, she may atleast have a reason then. If a sexist man has no grounding for what he is saying
explosionsinthesky
are you taking the piss? sorry. my friend and I couldn't decide.
There's a lot of truth in what he/she is saying unfortunately. Yes it's negative but if it makes no sense to you then you lack life experience. The number of girls I know who, because they want to feel accepted and to get affection and attention, and because they have little confidence, fall for this crap (do you honestly think that a guy who doesn't like a girl, doesn't find her attractive, enough to go out with her but just wants some sex will actually tell her that?! :rolleyes: ).

zav, guest might be talking out of personal experience but isn't that worth more than just talk from horny kids who just think that sex is nothing more than a game and who don't know what they're talking about?