The Student Room Group

Am I being horrible?

My best always tries to hug me, even though I've told her loads of times that I don't like it. It's not I don't like her, it's just I don't like to be hugged by anyone, other than my boyfried. Now I'm getting really pi**ed off because she keeps doing it even though I've told her not to. So anyway, does anyone else not like to be hugged by their friends... or is it just me and I'm being horrible?
I personally like hugs, but if you were a friend of mine, and didn't want me to, then I wouldn't. There's nothing wrong with not liking them off just anyone, and your friend should respect that.

Just tell her again really explicitly. Hope it works out :hugs:

:p:
one of my friends is a bit like that, he doesnt even let you touch his shoulder, i think its because he thinks that if i tap him on the shoulder it means i am secretly in love with him:rolleyes: :rolleyes: (get over yourself!)

anyhoo they way he lets people know that he doesnt like it is by totally seizing up- it is rather like hugging a wall. i dont think you are being horrible, as long as you tell her in the right way. but maybe she just needs a friendly hug, and maybe you should endure it, but only rarely
Reply 3
No its fine it can get annoying after a while if its constent

Tell her nicely and im sure she will be ok
I completely understand your point of view.

One of my best friends absolutely hates having people hug her and that's totally fine. I thought it was odd at first but as a friend I can understand that I should respect her wishes (I know that makes me sound like an idiot but it's true). Other people who don't know her so well seem to think they can fix it or that it's wrong or something. They are stupid. If you don't want hugs then of course you should not have to put up with it. It's probably quite a big deal to you because people hug so freakin much but you just have to be very very firm with her. It is a bit difficult for us huggers to understand at first, but no one has some sort of right over you to give you hugs. Explain again that it's not her, it's just that you don't like hugs. If she gets offended wait a while and then try again to make her see it from your point of view. Hope it goes okay.
Reply 5
I have told her (nicely) a lot of times but she still carries on doing it. I don't know if I'm giving mixed messages though because if she's upset or whatever then I do put up with it because I don't want to seem like I don't care. But when it's just randomly and she does it and I tell her not to, she never takes it seriously
Next time she hugs you scream as loud as you possibly can, and refuse to stop until she stops hugging you. Everytime she goes to hug you, scream. I believe it's called aversion therapy.
well you just have to be clearer then.

Or get one of your other mates to say around her:

"Anoymous1 doesn't like being hugged. I wonder why? Oh well, i guess if it's what she wants we must do as she says and not be selfish. And indeed we would be being selfish if we were to continue to hug her even after she explicitly said she doesn't like it. don't you think that would be selfish? i do."
why the hell do people not like hugs? that i cant understand
Nothing wrong with not liking people touching you. People have different levels of tolerance of other people in their personal space. Just tell her firmly (but nicely) and unless she's dense she should understand.
I love hugging but if they don't like it, then i wouldn't keep on cuddeling either
Reply 11
I'm not a big fan of hugs myself. Largely because as a hetrosexual male it is not the done thing. But even with female friends i don't particularly like it. Its not that i'm worried about looking too feminine in front of friends-i just simply am not a big fan of physical contact with friends.
FranzFan
I'm not a big fan of hugs myself. Largely because as a hetrosexual male it is not the done thing. But even with female friends i don't particularly like it. Its not that i'm worried about looking too feminine in front of friends-i just simply am not a big fan of physical contact with friends.


I'm not a big fan of hugs, but for different reasons. For me it's more about the nature of the relationships I have with other people. I'm happy to be seen hugging my mum in front of friends, for example, so I'm not worried about seeming feminine (not wanting to show affection because it seems feminine does suggest a little insecurity, I feel), but the friends I have aren't really the sort of friends I'd hug; not that it means I do care about them though.
I dont like hugging friends. Just go stiff and move away. Eventually they get the message.