"Go, get a life!"
In the society in my school, and among most of my friends (and maybe also elsewhere in the world, as far as I know) it is almost a "value" to feel that "showing intelligence, smartness, participation at school and interests in things that are not sports, women&men, love, fashion, music EQUALS TO being a loner, a nerd, someone without a 'real life'."
A second majority states that working a lot for school and "drawing all teachers' attention towards oneself is very egocentric and doesn't give other students a chance to improve".
I'm not sure whether I let myself be influenced by the stereotype created by my friends&society, or whether I was in a period of vocational altruism, but at a certain point of my life, I decided that I wanted to be socially active and that I wanted to become a Friend, a 'human' friend - as it is called - who really CARES about everyone. Not a 'friend' who just gets A+ in whatever she does and does free tuition or does some social work because she "has nothing else to do".
Ironically, this decision was made in a period prior to a very important phase in school-life (exams, university decision, etc.) - before my last year at school.
When I look back at that time, I think that all I needed to do was... pretend to be ignorant. I gradually started not participating at lessons, letting others make more contact with the new teachers... I hoped that "even if I keep from participating, I won't become stupid". It was working indeed, and after a while I didn't only feel that I had become altruistic but admired, demanded by all circles of society, with a very busy social life!
Even when going out with friends, I avoided starting discussions about philosophical or political topics ("Who cares about those things anyway?") as I usually did, and instead said "Yes, yes" to anything anyone else said. I didn't use my head anymore, no pros and contras, no critic... just adapting myself to society.
I thought I was becoming altruist...
An alarm was ringing!
And it came out that I was actually not an "altruist" but was transforming into a conform person. It happened when, against my own control, I unconsciously laughed at someone who was suffering - and I noticed that I was doing it just because everyone else [among my friends] was doing it, I think - because that wasn't "me".
I was becomin a copy of everyone else. Like an ant.
My eyes opened even more when I saw my grades falling, but I didn't want to wake up - I was SURE about having finally realized what "real life" was, with so many friends, adventures, fun, etc. and not "only thinking about space, science and the world".
I didn't wake up until I saw the predictions of my final marks, my university rejections, etc. ME, WHO ONCE HAD A+ in ALL SUBJECTS!
I felt pXXXXX off for most of the time; and I think I was even quite discouraged during exams because of that.
Okay, I'm not trying to rant or ask advice about university process, Clearing, Extra etc. but I simply want to portray my stupidity.
I can't complain since it was my own decision to become "more human, more normal" and "get a real life".
And maybe not everyone is so unflexible like me that she or he can't be good at BOTH "School Life" and "Real Life".
But one thing I think that I learned from this experience is that maybe, after all, "Real Life" does NOT mean "Social Extravagance". And Generosity and Respect does NOT mean "Everyone else is right and you must follow them".
Maybe, after all, a "Real Life" is one that you make on your own, where you don't loose your passion and your inner drive out of sight: be it helping your friends, or dreaming AND WORKING to become a rocket scientist...
After this experience, if there are still "more important things in this world than space, school marks, etc." I prefer spending my life with the less important things...
What is your definition of a "Real Life"?
Sapere Aude...