Turn on thread page Beta
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I never make the first move. Mainly because I think the guy should do it and because I did it once in primary school and it was so embarrassing to be rejected.

    I know there is a small number of girls that actually make/have made the first move, so I just want to know what strategy you have used. Did you text something casual? Did you slip your number and hoped for the best?

    Did you get rejected? Did that discourage you?
    Or did things work out?

    I'm just curious.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I'm not a girl but you shouldn't base things on one rejection from primary school. Primary school children are immature little brats for the most part. I'm not sure if boys are even sexually active in primary school? I know I wasn't.

    People are totally different when they are adults. Try asking a guy out and you might be pleasantly surprised.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Whatever approach you take, just be confident with it. I actually think guys are less likely to reject girls than vice versa.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Bassetts)
    I'm not a girl but you shouldn't base things on one rejection from primary school. Primary school children are immature little brats for the most part. I'm not sure if boys are even sexually active in primary school? I know I wasn't.

    People are totally different when they are adults. Try asking a guy out and you might be pleasantly surprised.
    LOL. Well it turned out he liked my friend so it was really awkward when he gave her a rose the next day...


    (Original post by H0ls)
    Whatever approach you take, just be confident with it. I actually think guys are less likely to reject girls than vice versa.
    No, no. I'm never going to ask anybody out. It's just not my style.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Well I guess with my ex I didn't make the real first move (he asked for my number) but I was the one who initiated things properly if that makes sense aka I met up with him and was the one who went in for a kiss :P you just have to be confident! Subtle things before hand helps you get an idea of things too :P


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    It has generally been while chatting to said person online, or texting them or whatever. I've never had any 'strategy' as such. I just end up feeling the need to see whether things could happen with this person build up to a point where I can't not say anything. It depends on how I think they'll take it if I turn out to be way off the mark. I'll generally lay on increasingly clear hints/ask things that make it clear I'm very interested. Though of course while I'm convinced I was the one that pushed to initiate my relationship, my fiancé insists it was all part of some master plan of his. Not sure whether he's just saying that because he feels like he could have done something about it before I did or what though.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by katyness)
    LOL. Well it turned out he liked my friend so it was really awkward when he gave her a rose the next day...




    No, no. I'm never going to ask anybody out. It's just not my style.
    Why not? I do it sometimes because I'm a no nonsense person and I can't stand not knowing where I stand
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by H0ls)
    Why not? I do it sometimes because I'm a no nonsense person and I can't stand not knowing where I stand
    That's very brave but there would be a lot of "what ifs" in my head if I even thought about it. If a guy doesn't make a move, I assume he's not interested and I move on.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You gotta Twerk it honey
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    We were online friends for 3 years. We exchanged numbers.

    A few days after that I was texting him about going to Bristol (where he lived) and he said I could stay at his if i had nowhere else to go that night. Upon realising I wasn't actually on the way that day and staying at his wasn't a last resort, he told me to forget what he said about coming over (very socially awkward and had never had a girl go to his place before)

    I went anyway. Seeing as I lived 3 hours away, I stayed the night, simply crawled into bed next to him and asked him to hold me..(he knew I live for cuddles and spooning on a serious note..)

    He was a virgin until then. The morning after he confessed he wanted me to stay all along 2 months later he told he loved me and we're still banging 18 months down the line.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    I'm not really sure if I have. I've definitely been the one to move a normal conversation into flirting, and been the one to invite someone out. But I didn't do anything really overt, anything like walking up to someone I didn't know and asking for their number. I think subtle is best, in that situation you're probably better to be casual, sit next to them and strike up a conversation and try and move it from there. That's also useful for working out if they would even be interested.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I wouldn't call it a strategy, it was more of a 'got drunk, stupidly told him I liked him and was rejected'. Which is why I will never ask a guy out again.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by katyness)
    I never make the first move. Mainly because I think the guy should do it and because I did it once in primary school and it was so embarrassing to be rejected.

    I know there is a small number of girls that actually make/have made the first move, so I just want to know what strategy you have used. Did you text something casual? Did you slip your number and hoped for the best?

    Did you get rejected? Did that discourage you?
    Or did things work out?

    I'm just curious.
    I got a friend to ask someone out for me in primary school and they said yeah xD

    Since then I've hinted/told guys I liked them before but never officially asked them out or anything. Just build up a friendship and flirt is my method basically. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't, that's life
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Little Wolf Taima)
    We were online friends for 3 years. We exchanged numbers.

    A few days after that I was texting him about going to Bristol (where he lived) and he said I could stay at his if i had nowhere else to go that night. Upon realising I wasn't actually on the way that day and staying at his wasn't a last resort, he told me to forget what he said about coming over (very socially awkward and had never had a girl go to his place before)

    I went anyway. Seeing as I lived 3 hours away, I stayed the night, simply crawled into bed next to him and asked him to hold me..(he knew I live for cuddles and spooning on a serious note..)

    He was a virgin until then. The morning after he confessed he wanted me to stay all along 2 months later he told he loved me and we're still banging 18 months down the line.
    LMAO!! Sounded quite romantic up until that. Nicely put!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Little Wolf Taima)
    We were online friends for 3 years. We exchanged numbers.

    A few days after that I was texting him about going to Bristol (where he lived) and he said I could stay at his if i had nowhere else to go that night. Upon realising I wasn't actually on the way that day and staying at his wasn't a last resort, he told me to forget what he said about coming over (very socially awkward and had never had a girl go to his place before)

    I went anyway. Seeing as I lived 3 hours away, I stayed the night, simply crawled into bed next to him and asked him to hold me..(he knew I live for cuddles and spooning on a serious note..)

    He was a virgin until then. The morning after he confessed he wanted me to stay all along 2 months later he told he loved me and we're still banging 18 months down the line.
    I usually hate people who brag about their relationships or how they met their loved ones but this story warmed my heart. I haven't felt like this since before my first heartbreak. Thank you!

    (Original post by desdemonata)
    I'm not really sure if I have. I've definitely been the one to move a normal conversation into flirting
    I do this sometimes but it's harmless because it's just flirting so I have no other intentions when I do it. I think they find it casual too, right?


    (Original post by ThoughtIsFree)
    I got a friend to ask someone out for me in primary school and they said yeah xD

    Since then I've hinted/told guys I liked them before but never officially asked them out or anything. Just build up a friendship and flirt is my method basically. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't, that's life
    I just have a lot to lose if I get rejected. I've had self esteem issues my whole life (people used to say that I was ugly) and I just don't want to go back to that.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Freier._.lance)
    LMAO!! Sounded quite romantic up until that. Nicely put!
    (Original post by katyness)
    I usually hate people who brag about their relationships or how they met their loved ones but this story warmed my heart. I haven't felt like this since before my first heartbreak. Thank you!



    I do this sometimes but it's harmless because it's just flirting so I have no other intentions when I do it. I think they find it casual too, right?




    I just have a lot to lose if I get rejected. I've had self esteem issues my whole life (people used to say that I was ugly) and I just don't want to go back to that.
    Thanks a lot guys x

    Yeah, I thought this crowd would like the crude ending but we are both hopeless romantics. He loves and adores me unconditionally and I never thought I'd ever feel that.

    You see I've always had self esteem issues myself. Daddy issues, tough-love mother, bullied in school, sexually abused, self-harmed, anorexic etc But we get eachother and fix eachother.

    I would never ever have crossed paths with him had I not taken a crazy chance online. I was actually meant to meet someone else who turned out to be a manipulative *******, but my friend who always insisted he wasn't interested in me truly was the one who cared for me most. He was just too damn shy to admit it. I secretly knew he was the right one, but he needed a huge nudge to let me in. When I got to Bristol bus station, '*******' disclosed that he actually lived 20 miles away from where he asked me to meet. I KNEW he wouldn't show up because he had stood me up before, but I got on that bus to Bristol anyway because I knew my future boyfriend lived in that part of the country. 5 minutes away from the station in fact, when he texted me his address whilst I was on the coach.

    The one I wanted all along turned out to feel the same way despite claiming otherwise and lived around the corner.... It was meant to be. I'm so glaknew knew he was just scared when he told me he didn't want me to stay!!

    OP, one day the man who accepts you with all your insecurities will appear and make the years you spent alone and unable to love yourself pale into insignificance.

    He hasn't just bolstered my self esteem, but I've helped him become more confident and reassured too. The only thing better than feeling loved is loving someone else and helping THEM to love themselves...
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by katyness)
    I just have a lot to lose if I get rejected. I've had self esteem issues my whole life (people used to say that I was ugly) and I just don't want to go back to that.
    You only have something to lose if you're risking ruining a good friendship, even the "prettiest" people still get rejected by loads of guys it's just difficult to find the right person, you may surprise yourself once you start asking guys out
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I love the girls on here who's excuse for not making the first move is they have once been embarrassed, so now just instead expect men to have to be the ones to be embarrassed instead.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Loreal98)
    I love the girls on here who's excuse for not making the first move is they have once been embarrassed, so now just instead expect men to have to be the ones to be embarrassed instead.
    LOL I know. I think about this all the time. I guess men are humans too and they too get embarrassed and feel a bit down when rejected but I just feel like they are more conditioned to get back on the horse and move on. I don't know.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by katyness)
    LOL I know. I think about this all the time. I guess men are humans too and they too get embarrassed and feel a bit down when rejected but I just feel like they are more conditioned to get back on the horse and move on. I don't know.
    That's how men are "supposed" to be according to sexist gender roles. But it's not true in a lot of cases.
 
 
 
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?
Useful resources

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.