The Student Room Group

16 year old best mate one month pregnant and wants to keep baby

Okay...i don't know wot 2 do....she wants to keep it...and she won't have an abortion. Shes 1 month pregnant and says she's going to come back into sixth form but how is that going to work if she's four months pregnant??? would the school allow her?? i don't get it...i'm so worried about her and i love her..the guy who she got pregnant of doesnt want anything to do with her or the baby...someone help please

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Reply 1
Theres not much we can do to help. Shes classed as an adult when it comes to babys, she probabily is throwing away her future. But i dont think i could get rid of a baby, no matter how young it was in terms of the pregnacy.

The school will make special allowances, but it seems pointless since she probabily wont finish the course. I think she will probabily find it harder than she imagined when the baby is born.

Just support her, offer you advice but dont force it on her. She needs you, especially since it seems her ex is a no hoper.
Reply 2
well its her decision
all you can do is support her
make sure she's ready to take on the responsibilities
thats all you can do, make sure she knows what she's getting iin to
And if she still wants to have the baby then give her support
Thats probably what she needs most
Reply 3
abortion not always good you are killing what its not born yet, just support her in everyway, and help her in every outcome, at the end of the day its her decision that counts, and what ever decision that comes good or bad suport her and then just wait cause only time will tell if her decision is right. if i was her friend i would say to her listen to your heart what ever you feel right, and you think is right go for it and we will always support you in every decesion that you take.
Reply 4
hamza09
at the end of the day its her decision that counts


Exactly, if she wants to have the baby then everyone has to respect that. Yes, everything will be that much harder for her e.g. college, but there are all sorts of schemes that can help her to make sure she doesn't miss out on her education - get her down to the local Citizen's Advice Bureau to check out all her options. But good on her for taking responsibility for her situation and wanting to carry on with her life, rather than sitting back and letting the state take care of her.

Wonderboy Blue, I'm choosing to believe you're trying to be funny. Just so you know, it's not working.
Reply 5
What is inside her now is a bundle of cells with the potential to become a human. Abortion makes sense in her situation, for her, the cells' sake and everyone involved.
Reply 6
kizer
Abortion makes sense in her situation, for her, the cells' sake and everyone involved.


Yeah, except she wants to keep the baby, so abortion clearly doesn't make sense.
Reply 7
norelle
Yeah, except she wants to keep the baby, so abortion clearly doesn't make sense.



Not sure how that works.. what people want isn't necessarily what is best. She should be counselled so she realises she doesn't need to feel guily if she has an abortion. Clearly it does make sense for her not to have a baby now., right?
Reply 8
kizer
Clearly it does make sense for her not to have a baby now., right?


This is not necessarily the case. It seems to an observer that a large proportion of people are jumping on the abortion bandwagon without fully exploring the possibilities and different routes that could be taken by the fecund female in question.
As most have said it's her own decision i think they will let her stay on in the sixth form but how she gonna look after the baby, again another boy who is gutless and won't help her out typical. Just hope for her sake her parents support her.
You can't say the kid will grow up to be a criminal, the kid might damn well grow up to be a smarter, caring person than you.
Reply 11
OK, a lot of ignorant and useless posts have been removed.

While it may seem "obvious" or "best" for this girl to have an abortion to you, if she doesn't want to, NOBODY can force her. She may well be a perfectly good mother, especially if she's decided already what she wants to do, rather than not telling anyone she's pregnant until it's too late to abort or whatever.

She'd need to contact the school to talk about arrangements that could be made. Having a baby halfway through a year WILL severely disrupt her studies, so she needs to decide what the best way to deal with this is. She will need support from her friends, family (are they helping her?) as well as the state in the form of medical care and social support. Make sure she has access to all this and is doing the best she can.
Also i think none of you realise that abortions do have a dangerous element to them and can affect a womans child rearing abilities in future. I know *graphic* i wouldnt want a hoover sucking my insides out. Stop regarding abortion as a simple operation.

Otherwise, for AS/A levels, she can always just take a year out and go to college later. Obviously she has support from friends like the poster and hopefully her family so it should not be that hard.
Reply 13
a friend of mine got pregnant half way through year 11, she decided to keep the baby, and finished her GCSE's. She decided not to go to sixth form as the baby was due in november. her little girl is beautiful and now 19 months oldand shes just started doing an open university degree and is doing very well (75% in her first assessment!). not going to sixth form does not confine you to living off benifits forever, you can still lead a full and wonderful life, you're just slightly more restiricted in the days where most people have no responsibilities.

good luck to her and i hope everything sorts out ok. if you wanna chat feel free to PM. :smile:
Reply 14
Maybe tell her to take a year out, n start sixth form later....
kizer
What is inside her now is a bundle of cells with the potential to become a human. Abortion makes sense in her situation, for her, the cells' sake and everyone involved.


lets not turn this into a debate on the ethics of abortion and whether its right or wrong, she has already said she is keeping it so its a moot point

i think the best you can do is support her as much as you can. many people are going to turn away from her and she will need every friend she can get
a girl in my year was pregnant at 16/17 and the school was really supportive. Although she never took the exams the school allowed her to stay and she did until a week before baby was born. she didnt get any further with education but she gained support from the year group and found it a lot better than sitting at home.

x

It's her choice

A girl who used to goto my school got pregnant, did the first term of 6th form, had the baby, came back the next september and has now finished her AS levels. Her childcare is free, comes through benefits, I know/care about that as my mum is her kids childminder. Considering what she does, she's coping really well.
Reply 18
Tell her that giving up her education will dramatically reduce her earning potential. At the same time, raising a child apparently costs £160,000.

Hope she can afford it, eh.
Reply 19
Sozard but abortion is the best option here. She's 16 - enough said. Obviously if she's having none of it then that's her own stupid decision. She'll only regret it later in life, make sure you tell her that.